My exboyfriend dated me for 2 years, then dumped me for another. Now he's saying he wants me back, he never should have left me, he wants to treat me right, etc. We've talked on the phone for 3 weeks now. He cannot commit to a date, he says he will "call right back" and then never does till the next day. If I call him on his bad behavior, he simply becomes defensive and mean. I thought I loved him, but this inconsistency is killing my feelings. I know you will tell me to talk to him, but I did that in the past and he always blames me and yells if I dare to question his so-called busy schedule. Could it be that he is truly busy, SO busy that he can't call at bedtime or meet up, or would any intelligent woman with a brain feel a bit used as a rebound? I don't want to be demanding. I want to love him, I honestly do, and he has said in the past that I have a mental disorder because I want him to say what he means and mean what he says. Help.
2007-06-29 03:26:56 · 9 answers · asked by Sassie 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Actually I was going to suggest listening to your instincts and leaving this guy alone for good. If he can't muster enough respect to make a good impression when trying to "win" you back, his behavior is not going to improve once he has you back. Your feelings are waning because he's a jerk...your senses are right on target.
2007-06-29 03:33:09 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know EXACTLY how u feel. omg. my bf always does something like that, we chat, we say we will hang out when nd where and the day off or after he will apologize, sayin he is "busy"...here is the main problem hon. maybe he does like u but he is being irresponsible. irresponsible and too lazy to let his lady know that he is not available or wil be a no show. it is ridiculous but the best way to deal with it is to call him out on it, gently, and tell him if he doesnt learn to schedule u in his life, u will move on. its ur only choice, since this will develop into a killer routine if u dont make the first move. and that will lead to a very faulty and unstable relationship! no couple really deserves that. often telling him your feelings will get a reaction out of him, but make sure not to overdo it. and only make your point once so they have time to let it sink in. if you pound it in multiple times it will only end up in intense pressure to escape or run away from u.
now since u say talking doesnt really work, may i suggest doing something sweet, and maybe he will return the favor? i found it useful to slip a present into my bf's mailbox with a "hint hint lets go out" written on it. sounds cheesy but i found it rather effective.
the sweetness will actually soften hus heart and make him more open and patient to what u think. and that will assist in future situations.
well, i hope that helps. i am sure this is fixable, it depends on the maturity of the guy as well.
oh and one other thing. when u ask him about his schedule, try to find out just casually what he is doing, and maybe comprimise?
2007-06-29 10:41:01 · answer #2 · answered by Desiree L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, this guy has "looser" written all over him. Open the dictionary and look up the word scum--you'll find his picture there! You write as an intelligent young woman, and you are in love with someone who cannot/will not commit to EVEN A PHONE CONVERSATION AT AN APPOINTED TIME!!! Honey, do yourself a favor and run, don't walk, in the opposite direction of this jerk. You deserve better and can do alot better!!!
2007-06-29 10:40:08 · answer #3 · answered by MAGGIE MAE 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a creature unlike any other, so start acting like it! If he wants to see you, he will put the effort in to doing so. Don't call him don't ask to see him...let him chase you! If you are really what he wants than that is what he'll do! In the wild, the male makes the effort in finding the female, when we make it easy for a man to talk to us, see us etc...when he no longer has to chase us, he gets bored and moves on! Best of Luck
2007-06-29 10:33:05 · answer #4 · answered by laura_lovely_sweet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon...
seems you're a little deluded by this guy. You said he "wants to treat me right" and in the next sentence, he is disrespecting you by not calling you back when he says he will.
if he's too busy for you now, what is it going to be like in the future.
do you really want a selfish guy, or someone who puts you first? this guy is your EX for good reason.
take care of you. you can do better. tell him to put that in his pipe and smoke it!
hugs
2007-06-29 10:36:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may not be a rebound, but either way he's giving you the run-around. This guy blew it with you once...why let him do it again? Next time he calls, tell him you're not interested in being more than friendly with him.
2007-06-29 10:31:48 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to move on. I think you are young enough to be able to find someone that doesn't play mind games like he is doing to you right now.
2007-06-29 10:33:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He treats you like crap.Move on girl ASAP.
2007-06-29 10:38:38 · answer #8 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a player. lose him
2007-06-29 10:31:35 · answer #9 · answered by pennylane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋