Relations with a younger au pair....?

Question

We have an Italian au pair staying with us she is 19 I am 30. It all started with her baking things for me cakes and such lik. My wife thinks its cute and is certain she has a crush on me.

Now she is well being quite provocative when my wife is out she is wearing well very little and is always getting well touchy feely with me and the eye contact is tense.

I am certain she wants to and she is hot as hell what do you think should I?

What about if I do it then fire her straight after. I could even book the ticket in advance so she can be out the dorr that night!

No its wrong my vows my children its just so wrong!!!

Help me lord!!

Answer 1

Walk away. Is she worth your marriage? Come on - you know the answer to this!!

Answer 2

From experience I had affairs with my two au pairs. One 17 and one 20 (not at same time). I was in my 40's. My marriage was on a low and these girls were so refreshing after a dull married life. I'm now very happily married to my French au pair for over twenty years having two more lovely children with her.
Falling in love with my French au pair worked well for me, my ex has my nice house & children. She's always been given money and is happily remarried.
Not all au pair sexual relationships are bad. In each affair I had resulted in a heavy relationship with the girls for many months. The first au pair left me to go back home to finish schooling. Surprisingly both affairs were kept in the dark from ex until I moved over to France with my second au pair.

Answer 3

Unless you're trying to be silly (in which case, ignore the following) you need to tell your wife what is happening and then both of you can decide whether or not the au pair is acceptable for your family.

You have a family and their needs must come first. If you are even asking a group of strangers from an answers site this question, then you probably don't understand how it would affect your family.

I'll save you some trouble. It goes like this: You respond in kind to the au pair (who is only flirting because you are "unobtainable") and have what you may describe as a "hot" night or "good" evening. Your wife will find out. This is a fact, not a speculation. She will feel: Hurt, betrayed, depressed and will begin to berate herself for "being so stupid" and guilty because she "didn't see it coming". You see, your wife thinks it's cute (the au pair's behaviour) because SHE TRUSTS YOU.
Then, the logistics of how to fit the schedule of who sees the children when and who gets custody and how do you explain to them that "Daddy" didn't have enough self-respect to care about himself and therefore his family to put them first.

Bottom line, speak to your wife and allow her to talk to this au pair or depending on how strongly she feels, to let her go and hire someone who is concerned about the children (and family) she or he is looking out for.

What would you do if the au pair was a hot man and your wife was asking us this? And, don't fool yourself into thinking men do not become au pairs. They do and the scenario is possible.
Your answer will be how you feel if the shoe were on the other foot. If you find that you hit the old double standard in your thought processes then go ahead, shag the au pair and you deserve your family leaving you out to pasture.

Many different options here but only one right decision for you and your family.

Answer 4

You have to ask yourself if a fling with an au pair is worth losing your marriage over.

If you're convinced your wife won't find out, could you live with the guilt?

The decision is yours just be aware of the consequences. Divorces can be nasty, stressful and costly. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned..."

Answer 5

Believe me: she is NOT worth it and she is NOT into you. All she wants from you is an ego boost (getting in bed with an -attractive, i'm sure you are - married man).
Therefore she is a pathetic little manipulative sneak (when your wife's not around) and you cannot do this to your wife and children.
Fire her now for your own sake and to keep temptation away. Anyway, who would want someone with no integrity to be around their children?

This can only end up in huge problems. Good luck!

Answer 6

Ok, so you're going to spend one night with this girl, then send her home.

How much of a selfish bastard are you?

You are basically stating that getting off ONCE is of more importance to you than:

Your marriage

Your children's feelings and future

This girl's livelihood and home.

Your going to throw all that away and on top of it send this girl back to another country jobless and without warning? Do you have ANY idea the stress moving to another country and culture puts on you?

I hope you are not that kind of a creep. Listen to yourself, is that who you really are?

If so, I would hate to work for someone like you.

Answer 7

Certainly, especially if you wouldn't mind the same treatment from your wife. If you had any repect for her you'd tell your wife and fire the au pair. Sounds like you don't have the greatest of relationships though huh?

Answer 8

Tell your wife and both of you sit down and explain to her that her behaviour is inappropriate, and if it continues she will have to leave.
You are married and you will no doubt lose your wife and child/ren when she finds out what you are thinking of getting up to. Trust me women know!!

Answer 9

So you are tempted then you old dog!

For your own sake leave well alone unless you want to wreck your marriage.. Humping the Au pair isn't advisable!..

Answer 10

leave her alone you will distroy your family. You wife will find out and will leave you then you 19 year old hot italian will get sick of your old a s s and find a younger man!!! Your playing with fire!!! Think before you act!!!

Answer 11

If this is a serious question, then i agree with some of the others , is it really worth your marriage. Honestly think about it