How do you cope with a husband with ADD?

Question

How do you survive the chaos?

Answer 1

get alot of exercise sex and no caffine or exess sugars

Answer 2

I am truly sorry that some of the responders felt it necessary to belittle you! From someone who is in a relationship with someone who has ADD, please don't threaten, berate or belittle them, it will make it worse. Some good ideas have been posted-routines, lessening distractions, etc. I also agree with the person who suggested that you might speak with a therapist or counselor, as they can help you understand the disorder better. Leaving him if you truly love him is not an option, and I don't believe that is what you truly want, as you are asking for help, not a divorce lawyer (LOL). If he is willing to work with you, you can get thru this with your marriage intact, just don't give up, and take it one day at a time. Consider medication for ADD if it has not already been explored for treatment.

Answer 3

i personally do not have a husband with add, or anyone whom i live with for that matter. somethings to do would be to get away for a while. before dinner, in the afternoon, in the morning, just take some times for yourself to get away fromt eh chaos. try and find a room or private place where you can relax alone. paint, read, sculpt, write, draw or do something else that you enjoy and is relaxing. hope this helps. have a good day. :]

Answer 4

Organize as much of your space as you can. If he can't concentrate over long periods, establish habits--where to put keys, where to put clothes, etc.

Cut down on the number of things going on in your house--even the number of moving objects and bright colors.

Set up a system for when you want to talk to him seriously. Turn off the TV and music, stand or sit in front of something neutral, don't fiddle with your hair or jewelry, look him straight in the eyes.

Make plans in advance and post a calendar. Keep it uncluttered so the important things will stand out.

Remind him when your birthday and anniversary are coming up. (I know it's unromantic, but I have a friend who's been married 30+ years and she swears by it.)

Answer 5

Encourage him to find a hobby that is relaxing like Golf, Fishing, Chess. something that takes concentration and focus and he finds enjoyable of which he will be able to draw the skill to shut off from outside distractions and apply them to his day to day life. Don't see his ADD as chaos see it as him thinking outside the box, he just has a different viewpoint to you. Good luck

Answer 6

Get as much support as you can.
never give up.
remember why you fell in love.
remember to love yourself.
remember your important too.
remember time out for you.
remember you are coping with the chaos cos your still doing it.
remember what you are doing is phenominal.
remember you are not alone.
remember to be you and have you time.

remember to live. :-)

Answer 7

I have a friend with this problem. She deals with it by keeping things organized in her home. She doesn't have alot of things sitting around, gathering dust. Their children grew up, knowing that Dad has to have things done a certain way. In fact, one of their children takes after him and wants to clean all the time. She just smiles and keeps everyone busy. She also works out of the home, to be around people that are not so particular with the way things are done. That gives her a break. He was like that way when they met and it's one of the things she loves about him.

Answer 8

See ADD treatments/resources at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 7. Ensure he takes his medication/supplements on time, and adopts a sensible diet, with minimal sugar. Maintain a structured and organised lifestyle and home life.

Answer 9

Is he seeing a professional? Is he on meds? Sounds like its something you need help with. Maybe you should talk to a therapist as well.

Answer 10

Is he on meds? He needs to do something construtive and that entertaines him at all times, works for my bf with add