She just shrugs and says, "I don't know" all the time. What did you do today? I don't know. Did you play on the slide? I don't know? Did you do math? I don't know. Even playing games, she will roll the dice and get a four and a two, and pretend she doesn't know what to do. How many did you roll? I don't know. I persist and say, Yes you do. How many did you roll? Untill she answers or does it. But it's not getting any better. Any creative suggestions on ways to improve this?
2007-06-29 02:41:12 · 39 answers · asked by CutieGirl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
This is a phase but, yes, an annoying one. :-) I'd suggest not playing into her game, first of all. If you ask her a question and she replies in that manner, just reply, "Okay, I'll talk to you when you're ready to answer the question I asked." Then, just walk away. She gets a bit of power when you play right into her game.
Next, the next time she asks you a question ("What's for dinner?" What time is it? etc) reply in the same manner, "I don't know!" Keep this going for a minute or two and then pull her aside. Talk to her like an adult. Ask her how she felt when you didn't answer her question. Ask her if she was frustrated, etc. Then, tell her that's how you feel when she does it to you.
Say that you'd like to be able to have a conversation with her like an adult, but that it's not very "adult-like" to answer every question in that manner.
The next time she replies "I don't know" to a question, remind her of how she felt that time you did it to her and remind her that she's not acting as "adult" as you'd like her to.
Kids respond best when you take the time to talk to them and explain how you're feeling and why. They'll appreciate you giving them so much respect and, often, will reciprocate with respect as well.
2007-06-29 02:55:28 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She is getting to that "private" stage where she wants her own life..quit with the questions! Let her have space, and if you are playing a game (dice) and she pulls the "I don't know", pick it all up and put it away, tell her that you understand she has other things she wants to do, and if she would like to play for real later to come and ask you!
When she comes home and you ask how her day was and she gives that I don't know, tell her yeah, I know what you mean I don't know how my day was either! and walk away!
Try to ask questions that can get a yes or no response, do you want some juice (or favorite snack) if she says I don't know..walk away and say okay..
She may also feel your questions to be redundant...common she was at school, yes they DO math! Instead of asking did you do math, try asking her to see her math papers.
This too shall pass!
2007-06-29 02:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by kat k 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It will pass. It could be a number of things. Sounds kind of like she's a little uncomfortable around you. Not to say she has any reason. Other than that's she's seven. Pressing her like that will only make it worse. Just step back and relax. I don't know if you have children of your own but, sometimes you just need step back and let things work themselves out. Let her start and move the conversations for awhile until she becomes more comfortable (evident by the rambling conversations you'll begin to have).
2007-06-29 02:54:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two ideas:
First- create a "game" system. Tell her anytime she responds to a question with a real answer instead of "I don't know" you will fill a one foot jar with a small rubber ball. When the jar is full she gets rewarded with whatever you two decide on.
Second idea- Her father and you and her can sit down and have a real discussion. Encourage her to express herself, tell her you are very interested in what she is thinking, compliment her and make her feel good about being her.
2007-06-29 02:47:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Haha, well she's just a kid.
When you play a game, like you did and rolled the dice and she said I don't know.
Why don't you try to count with her. Use your fingers and everything. Then when you're done and she understood say, Now you know. Remember to smile and don't be irritated. She's just a kid. We all went through that phase, same with the "why" phase.
I hope it helps.
2007-06-29 02:45:56 · answer #5 · answered by stufulovlies 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, like many have replied, approach the situation with a sense of ease and humor. Tell her, "Well, I don't know either :P" with a smiling face. This will make her open up and confide in you, whether she is shy, scared, bored, troubled, angry, etc.
Challenge her as well, play games of questions with a reward/challenge at hand. Teach her things and make her proud of her knowledge and praise her knowledge/answers.
Good luck!
2007-06-29 04:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My little brother used to do this all the time...just try asking the questions in a way she cant say i don't know...then if that doesn't work try doing that to her. she'll see how annoying it is and then try to stop. If that doesn't work maybe try the silent treatment but it worked for my little brother when he was 7.
2007-06-29 03:59:39 · answer #7 · answered by Girly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try two things.
1. The next time SHE wants something, start saying "I don't know."
2. When she doesn't give you a straight answer, instantly stop playing with her or if it is something more serious, then punish her.
When she learns that saying "I don't know" doesn't get her anything but trouble, she'll quit.
2007-06-29 02:44:26 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
She must have experienced something fearful in the past and so when asked she will answer you with indifference so that she will not be blamed or take responsibility with. Just be patient with her because she is growing and in the process of growth she will begin to realize that she has to answer. Love her and trust her and show extra care. You can buy something for her like doll or toys maybe so that she will start to play. Offer some positive acts and just do not mind her when she answers you "I don't know." She knows and that's why she answers you I don't know. Be positive in your outlook because the child is sensitive. She is in the period of fear versus trust and love.
2007-06-29 02:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I simply tell my students, "I don't know" isn't an answer. I also remind them that I'm a human being and deserve a real response, and that since they're also human beings, they ought to respond appropriately. For whatever reason, this works. It lets them know right away that I won't accept "I don't know" as an answer.
2007-06-29 07:44:17 · answer #10 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋