My fiancee and I have been together for 3 years in July and he has been promising to marry me since the birth of my son. We were residing at his mother's house and when he got aggravated he sent us back to my mother's but he always wanted us him.... well thats what he told us. Whenever something comes up about a car we get put to the this side. Now since we reside together and have 2 children, he keep sayin he wants his own place but he wants to get married still. I don't know what else to do I do everything that I possibly can and it seems as if he still not happy..... What do I do any suggestions?
2007-06-29 01:35:01 · 5 answers · asked by Latisa H 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He just turned 22 and had no father in his life at all and I am 25 and mine wasn't in mine like that. What I can say is that he hasn't male role model to teach him what man does
2007-06-29 02:37:18 · update #1
Personally I'd be looking at what I wanted out of life. If being a handy live in girl friend and play family whenever he wants that doesn't bother you than keep waiting on him.
But if you think you and your kids need more it sounds like you need to start making changes in your life right now. You can't change him, only he can do that, but you can change your life even if that does mean leaving him behind.
2007-06-29 06:03:36 · answer #1 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling, after 2 children together, it's a safe bet that he will NEVER marry you. Probably never marry anyone, no matter what.
I am guessing you don't work outside the home, either. Now, raising your children is important - but supporting them (feeding etc.) is even more so. That means you need to get a job. Right now, any job will do - you can advance later as your skills improve.
You also need to go back to school and get training for a career that will pay well enough for you to support the children. There are grants and scholarships for bright young people who want training. The health care field is really needing qualified people - and don't discount "non-traditional" jobs - welders, plumbers, contractors - are all fields crying for women.
Earning your own money is a real morale boost - and self-esteem builder.
You also need to meet with a lawyer to make sure your and your childrens' rights are protected in the event you and your BF break up - and it's not a question really of "if" moreso than "when."
When you start to change, he will object. He'll demand that you stay with the children - he'll argue that your place is in the home. What home? You don't have a home. What he'll be objecting to is losing control over you - you'll be earning your own money and taking care of things as you see fit - and he won't like it. Then his true colors will come out.
In otherwords, this guy is a loser. You'll be much better off without him.
2007-06-29 09:33:41 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. File for child support. Go to counseling and learn what YOU want. Create a happy life for you and your kids. If the right man comes along, great. If one doesn't, you need to teach your kids by example that everyone in a partnership is equal and that they are the most important thing. Not doing everything for the guy so he'll marry you. A piece of paper in this instance will not change the way he treats you.
2007-06-29 09:32:03 · answer #3 · answered by aggiegrad84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit the rat race of having kids and waiting for this guy who has this power over you!
You deserve a man who loves YOU as much as you love him, and does nice things for you!
Relationships need to be a two way street, and sweety, it sounds like you are going up the wrong side of a one way street!
Some people are just un-happy no matter what, and nothing you can do or say will ever change that person...get out while you are young, and not bitter...good luck to you and the kids...maybe when he sees that you are moving on with your life, and he is NOT part of it, he will realize his loss and straighten up!
2007-06-29 08:41:05 · answer #4 · answered by kat k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quit procreating
Good luck
2007-06-29 08:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋