Talking engagement, but mostly fighting. Should I end it?

Question

I love my boyfriend. At our very core, we share an intimate connection and core values that are what I believe make a marriage and friendship endure. BUT LATELY, we can't seem to get along. The stress of buying a house together, how much I travel for work, planning a vacation, even the simplest things seem to erupt into arguments that leaves him questioning whether we approach the world too differently to be together. We are six years apart and so in different stages of our life and career. We share the same long-term goals and even want the same things from day-to-day life, but somehow we are both unhappy. Neither one of us wants to give up on the relationship. He has asked my parents to marry me, bought the engagement ring. But what do I do? Do I walk away from something I know is worth so much and rare in this world, just so that life can be easier today? And also, the fights have led to us saying so many things we don't mean. How do we heal the hurt we've caused?

Answer 1

It seems that the trouble is errupting from stressors outside of the relationship.....not issues within the relationship. Do you really want to break it off because the world has you a bit frazzled? If you do, you may regret it. Sit your man down and talk to him about the problems arising lately, and ask his opinion on what would help things. Don't be defensive and agressive or you wii recieve defensive agressive responses from him. Make a conscious effort to have some time together every day where the outside stressors aren't involved. Do something where you can laugh together. I think you both just need to unwind.

Answer 2

It sounds like you need to slow down, stop doing so much at once. Take one thing at a time. Getting engaged, planning a wedding, buying a house, going on vacation, traveling for work? That is alot. Any one of those things can pile on stress, but add them all together and it is disaster!
Try taking one thing at a time. Enjoy being engaged for a while, once you get used to that then buy the house, then go on vacation, then plan the wedding., etc.
Just the thought of all that stresses me out....no wonder you all are having issues. But it sounds like the issues are the result of outside influences and not the actual core of the relationship (at least that is what I get from what you said here).

Answer 3

Seriously, in so many words you already said he is worth fighting for. Sit down with each other and have a serios talk. The good, the bad and the ugly~ get it all out in the open and each of you tell the other what you want and need out of the relationship. Don't give up so easy. I am with the man of my dreams and we to are going through a rough time after buying a house, having the pressures of marriage, etc. Just talk it will all wrok out in the end. I will NEVER EVER give up on the man I am with I will go out fighting for him because I KNOW he is WORTH it. We have also said things we dont mean and honestly suck it up and move on neither of you meant it and you both know it .... Good luck

Answer 4

Well for one thing fighting is part of a relationship. My friend and his girl friend fight all the time and they really love each other. Life also isn't always easy, too, I mean it sounds like you have a lot of stress over a lot of things in life. Just relax. If you look long term and see yourself with this guy I would definitly stay in the relationship and try to work together to make your relationship better.

Answer 5

With all the large steps you have taken together recently, it is normal to be stressed, and even a little freaked out. A lot of people unintentionally pick fights with their loved ones when they should be perfectly happy, in order to cause problems, a lot of times it is a fear of being committed, even though you are ready. If you are thinking about getting married, try pre-marital counseling. Good luck, don't give up!
I didn't and have been happily married for almost 2 years :)

Answer 6

Fighting is normal, especially when you are stressed. Forgiving and moving on is where you find out how you will be able to live together.

Also how is the sex? If it's good you have a strong chemistry that will keep you together.

The question you ask yourself do I love him enough just the way he is?

Answer 7

forget the engagement well forget him too you guys might divorce faster than i can see cheese so save yourself the hurt and break up now before its too late its the beginning of an unhealthy relationship...
walk away and you will find someone that would be to your liking but dont ever ever think that things will get better after marriage infact it gets worst so move on dear its will be hard but you would not see it now a good choice you made........

Answer 8

Both of yall need to go to conuseling before yall beside to get married because yall same like yall no what yall want but scared to reach for it. Every relationship has ups adn downs but at the end of the day yall could workin things out that just love. But hold on to your relationship if conuselling don't work then you should end it if it get worst.

Answer 9

Life can go so fast and furious and be full of stress. It never stops.
Maybe slow down and make time for the two of you with little or no distractions? Plan some alone time, push the world away and get back to the basics of love. :)

Answer 10

I think you should walk away cause you are too far apart in age and values and are just in different places or stages in your lives . i think there is someone out there more kindred to your soul sorry but dont think it would work . Good luck .