my cat was ran over on tuesday, please help...?

Question

she was our favourite and it has broken our hearts. we cant eat, sleep and are so sad all of the time. we got two kittens after it happened, not to try and replace her but to take our mind off her and try to take some positives. we certainly dont regret getting them but are finding it so so hard getting over our original, any ideas on what we could do?

thanks

plus, she was only 3

Answer 1

Hi hun,

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. Cats are members of our family, with their own individual personalities, so you are going to grieve for her just as you would grieve for a human.

Time will help you feel better. Getting the two new kittens was a very good idea - like you say, it brings something positive out of it, and also gives a good home to two little lives.

If it helps you at all, one of the cats I grew up with died last Tuesday. He was 14 and had to be put to sleep because of lots of health problems. I cried for a whole day, and still cry now when I think of him, but it is getting easier. We went and bought a kitten the afternoon he died, to remember him and celebrate his life by helping a new one blossom.

When my cat died, I created an online photo album for him on Facebook. Some people create webpages dedicated to their cats, and Purina Cat Chow do a nice free service where you can create a profile for your cat http://www.catchow.com/youandyourcat_1.aspx . There are also many websites called Rainbow Bridge, where cats are said to go when they leave us. The websites are used to commemorate the lives of kitties that we have loved and lost. You might want to have a look and put your cat's picture on one of them. It helped me feel better to put a picture of Tigga on my Facebook, as it reminds me of his life and makes me sure I'll never forget him.

You may find the following articles helpful:
http://www.winnipeghumanesociety.ca/your_Pet/pet_Loss.php
http://cats.about.com/cs/copingwithloss/a/dealingwithloss.htm
http://www.petcaretips.net/pet_loss.html
http://www.thedailymews.com/articles/grief.htm

I completely understand how devastated you must be, but it will get better over time. One day you'll be able to remember her without crying, and soon after that, you'll smile when you remember her. Just think about what a great life you gave her. Even if it was short, you gave her the best life she could have ever had, which means that she died a happy cat.

xx Emmie

Answer 2

Al, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

It's hard to know what to say. The best thing you can probably do is try and remember back to when you first got your cat and all the happy times in between then and the day before you lost her. Talk to your family and friends abaout her and relive happy times.

I know the deep feeling of loss you are going through. I lost an adored cat of 22 years ago a week ago today. I still cry for her a good part of the day. I do get a few smiles when I remember all the good times Lucky and I had together though.

Try and enjoy the new kittens as much as you can right now and make happy memories with them. Maybe make them indoor cats so as hopefully they will get to live good long lives.

I'm sending a prayer for you and your kitty too.

Answer 3

That happened to my cat a few years ago, he was also 3 years old. The street I live on is vey long and there is a long hill. People feel that it is okay to speed down the hill. We have actually started parking our cars inthe road to 'bottleneck' the street. The average lifespan of an outdoor cat is 3-5 years, and for an indoor cat it's 10-15.

Something that made me feel better, was I did some research about what to do if your pet is hit by a car, if they go into shock, how to move them safely, what you should have ready if anything happens. I never did anyting with the flyers, but I probably shoudl hand them out. Now I know what to do, but all our cats are indoor cats now.

It will get better. It hurts, I know. I hate to sound so corny, but it's true. I cried a lot after Chance died. He was such a quirky little cat. He really liked watching dogs on tv, lol. After a while it got easier to not think about him without crying. I really think it'll just take time. Just get to know your new kitties is my advice. They are probably quirky little guys.

Answer 4

Hi Al

My heart goes out to you, I know you must be devastated right now but you WILL feel better but it will take time. It is such a horrid way to loose your beloved pet.

I lost my beloved Persian cat Sinatra on the 30th April this year, but I had known for some time that I was going to have to make the decision myself to end his suffering and I still question now whether I did the right thing, but deep down I suppose I know that I did everything I could to make him well again.

Like you I wanted a new cat straight away but I decided to take some time. I had him cremated so I have his ashes here with me and I know that he is safe.

Nothing that anyone can say to you will make things better, you did nothing wrong and it was a tragic accident and you could do nothing to prevent it.

If remembering the positives is making things worse, then for the time being concentrate on your new kittens. You could also try chatting with a pet bereavement counsellor. Just type this into a search engine and you will find a list of them.

God bless and I hope that things get better for you soon

Answer 5

I'm sorry to hear that your cat has died. Despite them being animals, pets do become a member of the family, and when they die, you go through the same grieving process as you would for a human. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix solution, time is the only healer available to you.

Hopefully the new kittens will provide you with some happy moments which will lighten your mood.

Answer 6

It's always heartbreaking losing an animal, at whatever age, and every time its happened to me I always say, no more animals, but I always take them in. Are you near a main road? I know you can't really train cats, but certainly keep your kittens in until they know where their home is, then let them out in the back garden for small periods at a time, stay with them and if they jump on the fence and try to move towards the road, say no sternly. They will get to know. I managed to train my existing cat in this way, thank goodness.

Answer 7

This is exactly what happened to me two weeks ago so i know exactly how you feel, ,my cat was 3 as well when she got run over and i have her 2 kittens who are 1. I have made a little memomorial in the corner of the garden with special statues and things. I hope you feel better soon x

Answer 8

Loosing a pet that way is very sad. I'm so sorry for your loss. Just remember the good times. Maybe frame a picture and set it where you can see it everyday. Enjoy your new kitty's and make them indoor cats only. It's just not safe for any pet to have free roam. Being hit by a car isn't the only bad thing that could happen to them.

Answer 9

Im so sorry. :(
I understand what you are going through. When I was pregnant with my first child, my cat ran under my car and.... yeah, I was a mess.
It hurt for a long time. I sometimes draw my feeling though. I drew a picture of her and cried some more. But eventually the hurt went away. I still think about her from time to time, but in my heart I know it was an accident.

Answer 10

i lost my cat just over 3 weeks ago. she had to be put to sleep as she had cancerous growth in her throat. she was 16 and a big part of our family. it hurts like hell doesn't it when they go. part of your heart dies with them. things are a little better here. we don't cry as much as when she first went. she has her own place in the garden so she is still with us in a way. if you haven't got your little girl in the garden try to do a memorial to her somewhere. she'll always be in your heart. your new little ones will never replace but they'll give you someone to love. it will get better with time though. i've had a few tears while writing this for mine and your beloved cat. take care and best wishes