I have a lot of pressure from my dear mother in regards her visit from overseas to Australia where I live. I am not ready, but I really like to keep the reasons private. my husband told her that he is busy. I told her we can't accept her visit.
She told me that she can come on tourist visa and see she can come with her friend but she want to do value and respect for me and my husband. I told her No many times because I am ready. She is playing her games. She just misses me and she want to see me that's what she said. and she asked me about my work at my house and my studies. I said to her I am fine, I can handle it. she keep asking the same questions.
My mom never respect my boundaries and never make me comfortable by invading my marriage life. and not respecting my husband's life.
She called me from overseas to tell that she is coming to Australia. She asked an arabic australian friend to send her an
invitation
she arranged her visa to get permission to travel to Australia.
2007-06-28 22:02:03 · 8 answers · asked by Summer O 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Stick to your guns, even if she shows up on your doorstep just tell her the hotel is down the street. She has to let you go to live your own life.
2007-06-28 22:05:49 · answer #1 · answered by cactus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you cannot change the reality, the only why to make life happier is to apply the positive thinking. In fact, the visit of your mother may help you to appreciate the family life without the interruption of your mother better! Enjoy you life now, and you can use your will power to delete the unhappy feeling the "mother issues" in your mind!
I have the same mother problem too! My mother-in-law makes regular visit in every few months. As a matter of fact, it trains my EQ and I find it easy when i am confront with the unresonable people at work. You know! There is nothing comparable to those mother issues.
2007-06-28 22:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by Janet Noona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A mother's child will always be her baby no matter how old they are. Although frustrating for you you are lucky to have a mum that loves and cares about you like she does, I would give my right arm for my mum to love me so much!
Anyhow this is about you and your problem sweetie... I think you should stick to your guns too, you are going to have to sit her down and be nicely assertive with her. Tell her you appreciate how much she loves and cares for you and how much she misses you and wants to see you. It is really important that you let your mum know you love and appreciate her. But you also have to tell her that you are an adult now and you are married and standing on your own 2 feet, tell her that it is your life and you have to do what you want to do not what your mum wants you to do, you just need to be lovingly firm with her, granted she may walk away with hurt feelings but she'll get over it, some mother's find it really hard to let their babies fly the nest. Who does she have at home, any other siblings? is she still with your dad? If you were the last one to leave the nest she could be feeling very redundant as a mother now!!!
2007-06-28 22:14:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your Mom just wants to know that you love her and still need her to be your Mom. Why can't she see you for a few days? Once you reassure her that all is well she will probably leave you alone more. Right now, even to me, you sound like you have something awful to hide from her so of course she is worried and pressuring you.
2007-06-28 22:36:20 · answer #4 · answered by naniannie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you are sorry that you and your husband will not be available to see her, as you have been invited to a wedding in the U. S. Tell her that since you will be here, you plan to make a vacation of it.
I hate to lie to my parents or my children, but sometimes it is necessary in order to take care of our personal problems without interference.
2007-06-28 22:13:34 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your mother of course she's concerned for you, when she visits make all her concerns nothing to worry about. Unless you feel guilty because some part of your life is doing something wrong.
2007-06-28 22:06:03 · answer #6 · answered by Experienced Male named Mike 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to show her that you want to see her. That is the key then COMMUNICATE more with her and arrange another time that is better for you.
2007-06-28 22:06:34 · answer #7 · answered by crewbrotha86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't answer the door when she arrives. She'll learn that when you said no visit from her, that's exactly what you meant. Next time she starts to question you, question her back and ask very personal questions.
2007-06-29 00:28:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋