Mother in debt, stole money in denial and alone?

Question

Long story...
-4 years ago i found out my mother was stealing money from her friend (her friend asked her to get money for her at the atm and took some for herself, this happened consistently totaling $15-20k as the friend claims)
-mother took it b/c she's a single mom trying to get by, not for drugs or alcohol -don;t ask but somehow the friend accused me saying my mom stole for "my drug money" which pisses me off (NOT TRUE!)
-other sibling signed to give the $ back if my mom couldnt
(which is now a very stupid thing to have done)
-mother paid back some and then stopped-now feels she shouldn't have to pay back b/c she only makes min. wage and felt the ex-friend should have understood
-ex-friend harrasing mother to pay back or they will sue
-i now have issues trusting my mother with my money and i pay rent with her, not to mentioned my mother is in at least $25,000 of credit card debt and having trouble paying min. payments
-mother wont admit shes wrong
-what the hell do i do?

thanks for the answers so far. i guess my problem is i sort of feel bad for her but i know what she did was wrong. i still dont know what is 100% true and whats not. i somehow feel like this ex-friend and family are going to bring me into the situation just to make our entire family look bad..afterall they are a superficial and backstabbing family even though i do not justify what my mom did. its a sad situation. i just dont know how to stay out of the situation when im her daughter and living with her and going through this with her

*first dragon - my mother doesnt have a drug problem i know that for a fact. she stole the money b/c shes a single mom and had/has a lot of credit debt and expenses...plus i dont know for a fact that the amount the family claims is true..it could be less and theyre reporting it as more. i honestly do not know. my mom says it isn't as much as they claim but how am i supposed to believe her anyways..

malevolentbutticklis…it says you do not accept im messages. may i send you an email? please leave your email if you wish..thank you.

Answer 1

Stay out of it. She's a grown woman, and if her friend can't make her see that she's wrong, a judge will. All you can do is pray, and make sure that you are taking care of yourself.

Answer 2

The person she stole from should report it to police. That is a lot of money and a serious matter. With your mother's attitude, she'll steal again whenever she can, if she's not held accountable in a serious way.
Obviously you are not certain of the amount she stole, but anyway she apparently admits to stealing. She just thinks stealing is okay.
I don't know whether your mom has a drug problem or not, but the behavior with the money is suspicious.
There are credit counseling agencies available too; your mother could probably benefit from consulting one. If she's unwilling to do this, it is another suspicious sign that something bad is going on.
Imagine what the children are learning, with a mother who thinks stealing is okay.
Good luck with all this.

Answer 3

Swift, the document which your other sibling signed might not be valid for any number or reasons. Your mother would probably lose in court and should pay it back if possible. If she doesn't want to pay it back I suggest that she pay it back at a slower rate but at least some every week. If she pays back $20/week it will take her 1000 weeks or almost 20 years to pay 20K and by then the value of money will have decreased. As long as the person she loaned it to is getting something every week they are much less likely to sue. Send me an e-mail with your im name if you wish to discuss further. I am not sure if the policy allows me to ask for you to e-mail so please note that I am not asking, only saying I am willing to discuss futher if you contact me.

Answer 4

Your Mom needs to be responsible for her actions. Definitely stay out of the situation and take care of you. Best Wishes. and God Bless!