Hard circumstances, he had a fling when we weren't together, a pregnancy, and now a baby. No relationship with the other girl. How do I accept this child my fiance has, and how do I handle it with our 3 year old. This baby represents a lot of hurt and I don't know how to do it? ANy suggestions. I just keeping wishing it would go away.
2007-06-28 16:19:43 · 10 answers · asked by confuzed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
in my family its my mom me, my brother, and my stepdad.
so then my stepdads daughter comes in to the family and my mother is really close to her and she accepts her really well and we do every thing as a family(ALL 5 of us) and my mother has taken this whole new kid in the family REALLY WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-06-28 19:40:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look at the baby, really look at it. This child needs to be loved, sheltered, nurtured.... no matter who it came from, God chose that it be yours now. This child was made from the man you love, regardless of the circumstances and is also a part of your 3 year old- brother or sister.
And just as you have been dumped into this situation, so has the baby!
If you truly believe in your heart that you cannot accept this child as part of your family, than it is time to move on. You are an adult with choices to make, the baby has no choice and deserves to be loved by the people who live with it.
2007-06-28 16:34:37 · answer #2 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so sad how people view children negatively when they did not ask to be brought into this world-- for any reason. The person you should be angry with for good reason is your fiance-- or at least, the feelings you have should be towards his actions, and not the baby. I would suggest a lot of counseling because eventually, you are going to act badly towards this child which can jeopardize the relationship you and your fiance have.
2007-06-28 16:40:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymousgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to see the baby as innocent. The baby isn't the one who hurt you. You said you weren't together when he had the fling so why do you see the result of that fling as hurtful to you? If you were hurt by his actions, work that out with him. The baby should not have to bear your anger that is meant for someone else. Try to keep things separate and in perspective.
2007-06-28 16:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The baby will NOT magically disappear.He made this mess, be mad at HIM, take your anger out on HIM, not the girl, not the baby.He had ENOUGH of a relationship with this girl to make a baby.Guess what they DID to make the baby?I am not saying this to be mean, you NEED to understand what kind of man you are about to marry.A guy who made a baby with you 3 yrs ago and hasnt married you yet, and just made a baby and I'm not saying do not marry him, I am saying SEE him as he really is BEFORE you do.You are going to have to be polite to the baby's mom and be good to the baby.They will be a part of your life 'until death do you part".
2007-06-28 16:38:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
counseling - for both of you....
keep in mind, this innocent child didn't ask to be brought into the world...it is unfair that you place all the pain you feel on it's tiny shoulders. Stop referring to him/her as an "it"...
The child is your son's half sibling - you "introduce" him as family, and show your son how to love his new brother or sister....he has no need to know the circumstances behind how the child came into the world.
2007-06-28 16:25:39 · answer #6 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just think of the baby as yours and his.Treat this child like the innocent one as it is. The child will not go away.
2007-06-28 17:15:56 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost this situation is not the childs fault... It's your husband's fault and it's good that he's trying to do the right thing.. You are going to just have to try your hardest to love that child and forgive your husband for what he did... I would really recommend some counseling for the two of you. Just try and treat both children equality... That would be the best thing to try to do.. I would imagine... As for your husband/boyfriend he has some making up to do...
2007-06-28 16:26:51 · answer #8 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not gonna go away..so you will need to deal with it...put you child in that childs place.....how would you want your child to be treated....love that kid...i know is sounds hard...but in the long run you will be rewarded....
2007-06-28 16:23:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Treat ur children the way that u know they want to be treated. It will be like having 2 kids. Just follow my advice and i'm sure ur be fine.
~~**NoWorries**~~
2007-06-28 16:27:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋