I'm an Atheist. Why do you make my kids feel like they should hide who they are?

Question

I've always wanted to ask this.

I have 3 great kids. My eldest daughter won 6 scholarships, primarily based in her volunteerism in the community. She hates alcohol and drugs as does her sister. Her teacher told me she "modeled compassion" for others. Her sister is very caring and her issue is displaced africans. She volunteers and literally gave every dime she has for "Invisible Children" which helps those less fortunate in Uganda. Little brother Jack is a philanthropist. For two years he volunteered helping an autistic boy, who was 4 years younger than him. Teaching him how to interact with others, etc.

And yet --- all of my children have come home in tears many times. Told they are going to hell. They acutally are very honest people but they have learned to lie about their most basic beliefs because "I don't believe in god" would kill them socially in a school.

Why is this? My kids are so great and...they shouldn't have to endure this. They wouldn't make your kids

Answer 1

Dear Laptop,

As the father of two little girls, my heart goes out to you. I am saddened and ashamed to be part of a race of humans that act that way - and I'm atheist. What is wrong with people? You have raised your kids well and true. Our job is not to protect our children from the evil of the world, but to prepare them for it. You should be commended. Just keep doing what you've been doing so well.

There cannot possibly be a god in heaven watching all of this calmly.
— Revi Shankar

The last Christian died on the cross.
— Friedrich Nietzsche

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
— Mahatma Gandhi

Man's inhumanity to man will continue as long as man loves God more than he loves his fellow man.
— Joseph Lewis, (1889-1968)

Every religion in the world that has destroyed people is based on love.
— Anton LaVey

We preach peace, forgiveness, tolerance and love. We practice vengeance, persecution, hatred and domination. My personal beliefs are supported and validated by my convictions.
Oh, and never forget .... my religion is truth, yours is a lie.
— Religion, paraphrased (unknown)

The Bible is a wonderful source of inspiration for those who don't understand it.
— George Santayana (1863-1952)

Humanity sees its reflection in the mirrors that surround it, and thus gratified, calls this image perfect, good, merciful, omniscient, omnipresent, holy, just, and above all, love. So enchanted are these hairless apes with this, that they invent a special word for it: 'God'.
— Unknown

Answer 2

I would like to first off offer my condolences that your children have had to go that torment, just because of their religious views. In a country that is based of the Freedom of Religion, it should not be happening. but for some reason, other feel threatened by those who do not believe as they do, or they cannot accept the fact that they could be wrong so will try to tell others that they are wrong and tell them they are going to hell so they can feel better about themselves. There are a myriad of reason, and thou these peoples children may not know the reason their parents act the way they do, they will follow in their footsteps. and it turns into a vicious cycle. We can only hope that some time people will learn to accept others the way they are, not based on any one thing that they believe. Tell your children that it doesn't matter what others think about them, it is how they think about themselves. I am of a non-traditional faith, and have learned that other will respect my choice if i have the confidence i my self and my choice.

Answer 3

I grew up with Protestant kids (and some adults) endlessly telling me I would burn in hell for being Catholic. Anti-Catholic literature was sometimes left on my doorstep. One of the local Episcopal churches now has courses for their youth, trying to help them through these issues, because they're also coming home in tears because of being told they're going to hell by the children of Fundamentalists.

Don't blame the children. They learned this somewhere, most likely from their own parents, and are just parroting what they've been told. Children absorb religious, political, and cultural ideology with remarkable ease, for good or ill.

I don't have an easy answer, but the source of the problem is the parents these bullying children have and/or the churches they go to, not generally the children themselves. Explain to your children, as my parents did with me, that some people believe differently, and sometimes say things they shouldn't, but that doesn't mean that we have the right to insult them back or behave badly. I was told to take the high road and show these kids that the horrible things they'd said about me were untrue.

Answer 4

I can only say that while it is true that those not saved will have made a choice for the fiery lake called hell, HOWEVER, I would question my own child as to why they did not make a choice to tell of the love of Jesus instead. It is true that the whole of God's word is to be taught and warning given, but one can not give warning (about not being saved) with out first telling of the love of Jesus. The whole truth is the whole truth of God's word, you can not leave one out on either side of the conversation. It always starts with the love of Christ Jesus first. Sorry your children have had to endure this. It is certainly not a way in which to win the hearts of others for Christ when approached this way.

Answer 5

"I" don't make your kids feel anything. The old blame game won't help you or your kids!

Kids are so impressionable. If A-theism was the mainstream, gathering from this forum, the Christian kids would get it up the... There is NO reason for hatred either way. Kids give out what they are allowed to. Someone is always on top, while the other 'suffers,' it has always been the case. I don't like it, but it is so.

I know you tried to teach your kids the right way, like ignore when others treat you wrong, or even turn the other cheek, maybe not. What hell? I thought there wasn't any! So where is the pain in that? Unless... The question is still in their minds.

If you told your children that you love them, and that they don't need a god that cares about them, no one to notice when even a sparrow falls, no one that knows enough about them that he knows how many hairs are on their heads, that's your business, Kids shouldn't care if your kids have nothing to look forward to. But they don't know how to act around people that 'don't believe' in the most basic tools given to those kids to cope. It will seem like a threat to their whole system.

No one likes rejection. Kids esp.

I can go ahead and blame the Amish, or Mennonites, or whoever caused me grief when I was a kid. I can put the blame on all Jews for a Jewess nurse refusing to let a Christian child pray, that couldn't even talk or feed herself, but could only pray in sign language. I can blame them for all the bad feelings I ever experienced. That would make me justified in my hatred and anger, right? NO! Or, my neice is justified in hating me for bursting her Santa Clause bubble when we were kids. She was in tears too, as I recall. I didn't know at the time what I was doing.

There is no hell to fear, remember that. What's the big deal? The planets go around the sun, the moon goes around the earth with or without anyone's 'beliefs,' right?? Kids don't know that yet.

It seems as though your kids may be more 'Christian' then those other kids, as compassion is what it's supposed to be all about.

Answer 6

I'm sure Christ is still writing in the dirt as though He hears your children's tormentors not. Again, for the 500 millionth time, it is NOT any Christians job to tell ANYONE they're going to hell. That is God's domain and God's alone. At no time did He ever give that authority to any man. Tell your children to continue to march. They sound like truly great kids.

Answer 7

It's stories like these that make me appriciate where I live. I wish the best for you and your family.

How is this different from being harrased because of skin color or ethnicity? I wonder if certain parents would scold their child for calling a fellow student a n.gger but would not scold their child for taunting an atheist? I don't know. It'd be an interesting study, wouldn't it?

Answer 8

I am . . . stunned. There is no reason for this kind of hateful behavior on the part of those who mistreat your children. It goes to show how good parenting conquers all.

All I can say is, "Screw the idiots." You raised them to be bigger than stupidity. Now, they just have to get through the cruelty of K-12.

There is definitely a reason I teach college . . .

Answer 9

Kids are kids (meaning every child will be made fun of by someone- no one is perfect) and bullying should not be condoned for any reason. We have seen the effects of that.

Now:
What about the adult who scares the kids...

Many kids are ridiculed for their clothes,homes,faces,parents life styles and these abuses go on every day. I do not condone the act of being mean.

For the record when my child attended elementary school
two things occurred that have should never have happened.
He was there for his third and fourth grades. This was in the 90's

1. He was told to remove his "cross necklace" and not wear it again to school.(my son did not share his faith verbally at school)

2. He came home crying and in hysterics because he was
told his mommy was going to die soon because she smoked.
It took two years to calm him down! I believe the school district should have been reprimanded.

I am a Christian. I do not condone scaring children
to death.
I do condone the expression of my belief in ways that are not aggressive.
I believe I have the right as a child or adult to share my beliefs.

I am sincerely sorry for the hurt.

Answer 10

I'm a catholic and I think it's completely wrong and sad when things like that happen. It's just plain discrimination. I believe that anybody should be able to believe and follow whatever they think is right. The reason it's probably happening is because a lot of people have been raised by ignorant people.