Can someone please help?

Question

I seriously need specific answers on how to deal with the seating at the ceremony.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070627153226AAGPrmd&r=w

It's a wedding ceremony, which is why it's posted in the Weddings section.

Also, the link I included provided a very specific list of questions I have about seating. I'd appreciate any help anyone can offer.

Feel free to not post your non-answer.

Okay, so for those of you who don't want to follow the link, here's the rest of the question:

Okay, so how does this work? Whose family sits on what side? Is there a particular order to which family members get seated first? Obviously the parents of the bride & groom get front row seats, but what do we do with aunts & uncles? Do we need to assign seats and tell the ushers where each person goes, or do we let them use their best judgment (what if they're only 16?). How will the ushers know who is family and who are friends, if not everyone in the family will be wearing corsages or boutonnières?
It won't be a church wedding, but instead in a garden, with individual seats, as opposed to benches or pews.

What if the first two rows are not enough, or too much, for the family that's there? How do we decide who belongs in the first two rows?

Oh, another question I just thought of...how do we deal with the parents of the groom, who are divorced and not friendly

Good golly, people...why is it so hard to just get someone to answer the question directly?

The ushers have never been ushers before...It will be my job to teach them how to handle this. Unfortunately, I don't have the knowledge, which is what I'm trying to gain here.

Seriously, I need specific answers about who goes where...Pretty please with sugar on top!

Look, I'm not trying to get bitchy...But I will say that I'm quite frustrated that no one can give me anything specific. I have been very detailed in laying out the information I'm trying to get, and no one yet has been able to answer any of these. I don't get why no one can simply answer the question...Everyone keeps saying "don't worry about it"...I'm trying not to, but it would be much easier if I knew how to do it appropriately!!

Please don't say "brides on the left, grooms on the right, reserve the first two rows for family"...Please, please, please, can someone please just look at the details of the question and give me some reasonable advice?

One more question about the divorced parents of the groom...Do I seat them together, or do I let them have their dates sit in between?

Answer 1

Okay, there were a lot of questions, but let's start with this. Usually, the first pew (or row of chairs) is reserved for immediately family. That means, parents, siblings, and sometimes grandparents. Usually, these people are presented at the wedding. (Mothers are ushered down the aisle during the ceremony, ect.). The bride's parents usually go on the left side, and the grooms parents usually go on the right side.
It is not necessary to seat anybody else in a specific seat. When people come in to the ceremony, the ushers should ask if they are on the bride or groom's side, and then lead them to a row. They can choose a seat in that row. Aunts and Uncles and such don't have to sit in a specific seat. The ushers main responsibility is to make sure they are on the right side, and that there aren't a bunch of gaps in the rows (people leaving a seat between them and another couple.
As for your groom's divorced parents...they are both adults right? They should be able to suck it up for fifteen minutes and sit in the same row. If this is going to be a problem, talk to them before hand. If possible, but some people between them (step-parents, siblings, ect).
I hope that this helps. Best of luck with your wedding and marriage!

Answer 2

I think Emibean spelled it out really well. The only additions to those suggestions would be in regards to the divorced parents.......

Which parent did/does he spend more time with and would be closer to? I would put that parent in the front row behind the ushers/groomsmen. I would include the grandparents and any siblings that may not be included in the wedding party in the same row.

The very next row would be for the other parent and grandparents.

While it may seem unfair to set a 'pecking order' this is the only fair way to handle 2 people who will not be civil towards each other for the sake of their childs happiness for one day.

As for knowing where to place any other family - is there an usher who is a family member who would know who Aunt Sara and Uncle Jim are? If so, make him head usher so that he can coach the other ushers if there is someone you want to be seated closer to the family or further in the back. Otherwise all you can do is rely on the guests themselves to inform the usher of their own seating wishes.

Good Luck

Answer 3

If you want the other family members to sit near the parents then just reserve a few rows for them and have the ushers asks the guests if they are family or friends. Ushers usually ask each guest they seat if they are friends of bride or groom and then seat them accordingly. As for the divorced parents who dont get along, if they are too immature to act decent and put aside differences then seat them on opposite ends of the row. If they get upset about which end they are seated on then too bad for them, they should have instead tried to get along with each other. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

you have to teach the ushers how to walk!? ok no you dont.. the CEREMONY is about you and the groom committing your lives together.. it is not about ANYTHING ELSE.. generally if you are looking at the altar.. the brides family is on the left (and the GIRLS of the wedding party) and the grooms family (and the GUYS of the wedding party) is on the right. the first row will contain your bridal party, the 2nd row will contain the parents and immediate family not in the wedding party.. and then the rest of the seating is a free for all... all the ushers have to do is ask what side the guests are on and then point or escort to the right or left side of the seating area. you dont want to assign much more seating bc you dont know when people are arriving and you just want them to get in a ddamn seat and wait for you to come down the aisle.. dont get BIIITCHY at people on a message board for not being your therapist.. we are not paid to answer your questions and are volunteering our free time to share what we know about your topics..

Answer 5

Ok, hun, take a deep breath and calm down. Don't worry about order too much, put the imediate family in the first two rows, if his parents don't like eachother, then they probably aren't going to sit together, most ushers know how to seat family and friends. Don't assign seating, because you may inadvertantly sit somebody tall infront of a shorty, or people who don't get along. When my best friend had her wedding, all we did was open the doors. Most people have enough courtesy not to sit in the family seats up front. I hope I've helped you.

Answer 6

Just forget the designated seating...one less thing to worry about.

Our first row will be saved for parents and grandparents and a place for the flower girl/ring bearer to sit after they walk down the aisle. The second rows are reserved for elderly people or disabled.

After that it's a free for all. I mean really? Who cares if you have bride on the grooms side or groom on the brides side? I have so many more important things to worry about and nobody is going to comment if I don't do assigned seating at the ceremony.

Answer 7

At my wedding everyone sat where they wanted. Just make sure you have enough places for everyone to sit, and they can decide where they want to sit. No more stressing out over it. It's just one day.

Answer 8

Here are your answers:
http://www.ezweddingplanner.com/advice/seatatwed.cfm

Answer 9

what ceremony?