Should I / How Should I control a 6-year-old's diet?

Question

I have a stepdaughter and she is very overweight. She is 6 and I am buying her size 12 & 14 size clothes. Her waist is just a few inches smaller than mine and I'm not small.

I want her to be healthy.

She wants to eat ALL the time. 10 minutes after we eat, she is asking me for a snack! And, she's a picky eater so she'll eat hardly any veggies or fruits. She obsesses over food -- what's for dinner -- when are we going to eat. She thinks about eating all the time. She's very inactive when she plays.

I am concerned because I was fat as a child, and I know that if we don't help her now, she will struggle with it for the rest of her life.

To make matters worse, daddy is even pickier and eats hardly any healthy foods and eats sweets. So, he won't set a good example for her. Plus, daddy feeds her 2 or 3 snacks (maybe one of them healthy) after school when I'm not there. She also eats a LOT at meals when she likes it.

Any ideas how to address this? Should I be worried?

I'm concerned also about her making friends. I've already witnessed that the other kids don't want to play with her as much because she just can't keep up with kids her age. I think this has caused her to act out at school.

To top it off, her father and grandma have made excuses for her saying she has "exercise induced asthma" as the reason she can't run. She does have a touch of asthma, but I can guarantee that the reason she can't run is not because of that... it's because she's carrying 20 extra pounds!

I love her to death and want to see her happy, and that's why it's so hard for me to be the "wicked stepmother" and deny her treats... but I'm just at a loss for what else to do for this little girl!!

Answer 1

Dont have any "extras" in the house. Let her pick her food, and when she only has whole foods to choose from, she will eat healthier or learn to find something to do instead of eating out of bordem, and then will eat out of hunger only.

Get her into some low impact classes like yoga or swimming where she can be active and make friends, and get some fat burning at the same time with out triggering an asthma attack.

Also if she looses the extra weight, her asthma will most likely get better.

I would say have water in the house, for milk only skim. Dont do juice at all because it has more calories and almost none of the fiber of an actual piece of fruit. Don't do any pop or kool aid, extra calories again and she doesnt need the extra sugar to metabolize.

If you do cereal in the morning go to cereal that does not have a high sugar content, like Kashi brand of cereal. Portion it out and also offer the sides like slices of apple and a slice of bread. Don't use jelly or jams as they have extra sugar. Instead use something like Smucker All Fruit.

Try and cut out high fructose corn syrup. Its harder than you think.

Don't have any "fruit snacks" because they are glorified candy, and those granola snacks.. Well read up on them because they too are glorified candy. If you are going to get some I suggest the Kashi brand again. They use more whole foods and they do offer one with chocolate chips, still healthy and a little treat too.

As far as the husband is concerned, tell him that he needs to pull it together if he wants to keep his daughter alive. Eating the way you described and weighing what she does, she is on the road to diabetes and heart failure.

If he thinks you are crazy, have him watch a few of those shows called honey we are killing the kids or whatever it is when they do the age progression of the kids if they keep eating what they are eating.

good luck

Answer 2

I had let my kids eating habits get way out of control also. My oldest was only 5 pounds overweight, but I realized that I was turning her into me. I had never been taught healthy eating habits as a kid and have struggled with weight for years. So this is what I did.
First they take a vitamin every day, to help supplement the no veggies. They also have a cup of 100% fruit juice with breakfast, and after school, they have a Dixie cup of V-8, its not as good as eating them but its better than none. I tell them you can either drink the V-8 quickly or eat a whole bowl of veggies.
Then on the snacking I try not to have chips, fruit snacks etc. I keep Goldfish, pretzels, graham crackers (fiber), string cheese, they are still snacks but a bit healthier. And the soda or so called juices I have never allowed.
Once she has had her meal and ask for a snack I let her have some. If she is still hungry I have her drink a full glass of water and wait a half hour. Most of the time if she waits the half hour she is no longer hungry, I tell her the food needs to catch up with you. If she still insist she is hungry, I give her a very small portion and them say I am sorry you have had enough.
And explain to her why, dont use her as an example, you could use yourself, I tell my daughter I want you to make better choices than I have, and I was never taught to eat healthy, and I want that for you. She is 8 now but was 7 when I changed it and she seems to understand.
I do allow real snacks like ice cream etc. sometimes just not nearly as often. Or instead of a candy bar give her 2 Hershey kisses. Or buy the Nibs and give her 5 instead of a whole bowl of ice cream. Its also about larning to have smaller portions.
My husband sometimes will have the real junk food late at night and I simply tell my kids, your dad is an adult you are not, and you are not eating that kind of food this late, or whatever. They do get mad, but they are much better about it than they use to be, and I do not let myself have the treat either so they are not alone in not getting it.

Answer 3

I have a big boy he is 6, Me and the wife separated 7 months ago. One reason is she feeds him like she would feed me. I had no control while she was around. Now that I have custody of the kids, he has lost 15lbs in the last 4 months. Portion control is the key. I also buy no snacks with sugar. No chips, No fast food. I buy no sugar snacks and veggies. He was a picky eater until I LAID DOWN THE LAW. If he does not eat what I cook he does not eat. I am now in control and the ex can't do anything about it.

My son does not act out in fact, He is loved by every body. Especially his classmates. He does have asthma, but he runs with the rest of them, he even plays football. With 7 & 8 year olds and this was when he was 5. Get her active even if it is just walking around the block.

Answer 4

First, only keep healthy snacks around. Dad MUST think of his health too. If Dad dies of a heart attack what happens to daughter? You are right healthy eating will last a lifetime the earlier it is introduced, so get to introducing now not later.
As for the asthma it will get better if she loses some weight. The more weight you carry the harder anything is on your body and that includes asthma. If you all exercise together it will make it easier. Start with a short walk after dinner maybe then get a little longer every few days or so. Maybe get everyone a bike and ride to different things instead of driving. If all else fails buy one of those wii's or dancing games to get everyone u and moving. Good luck and keep us posted.

Answer 5

I'll be honest with you, ADD and ADHD is something you do not want to mess around with. When my brother was in school, no one had ever heard of it. He couldn't get his grades up and keep them that way; he acted out and reacted violently at times to situations when he became overly frustrated. He wasn't diagnosed until late in his middle school years and by that time, the damage was done. Entering high school, he barely had a third grade reading level. Facts - it is genetic, you don't grow out of it, and depending on the severity of the condition, medication will be needed. Now, as your son has been diagnosed with ADHD, meaning the hyperactive part is in effect, combining diet with the medications will assist in his treatment. Sugars and certain dyes can contribute to the hyperactivity. That is the part where I encourage combining a DOCTOR APPROVED diet with the treatment plan. Medication is for the physical part of ADD/ADHD. The brain literally has an imbalance and starves itself for oxygen when the person is trying the concentrate. It was explained to me that instead of widening to allow greater blood flow for times of concentration, the vessels constrict. Depending on how severe the condition is, it could be a very small dose in the morning. DO NOT let the doctor tell you that you need to see him once a year. All drugs for ADD/ADHD must be routinely checked at least every three months. Yes, this is a chore, but given the effectiveness of these medications, it's worth it. How do I know this? My brother and father both have a diagnosis of ADD. *smiles* And where is my brother today? He's an EMT, people. He overcame it, and I am so proud of him.

Answer 6

you are in a very difficult situation since you cannot get your husband to set a good example along side of you, and at that age a good example and what food is provided in the home has the greatest affect on what the child eats.
If possible make some rules about meals and explain to your step daughter that the rules for her are different from her dad since you obviously can't force your husband to eat healthily. Some examples of meal time rules would be to prepare vegetables with every meal and then insist that for every helping of the main dish a helping of veggies must also be eaten. e.g. she cannot have another helping until she finishes the veggies on her plate. That might help curtail the amount of food eaten at meals, and if not, it should least lead to healthier eating and possible fewer calories as veggies tend to have fewer calories than most main dishes.
For snacks you might consider preparing healthy snacks such as sliced apples and oranges in the morning and leaving them in an easily accessible place. If possible you could eliminate most unhealthy snacks from your house and have your husband keep a personal stash if he cannot give them up, that he does not share with his daughter.
If possible also organize more active play time for her, take more trips to the park, go outside and play with her, there's nothing like example and participation in activity to help her start to enjoy it.
Obviously there is little you can do without your husband's support, so you should definitely sit down and discuss this with your husband. Good luck, I hope this gives you some ideas.

Answer 7

I am dealing with the same thing with my 5 year old step daughter. She is in a womans size small can not even fit a 16. You can only do what you do. Try to give her healthy things and offer her no other option but that. You cant do it 24-7 at first but you can do it slowly untill its just natural for her to do it that way. It seems no one else wants to help with it so do what you can. Make sure you take her to the park and get her to run around and see if there are things active wise she might want to do like dance or karate she will never know your getting her to exersize.

Answer 8

Does this little girl live with you guys or with her mother? I ask because if she spends more time at her mother's house, then you really don't have a right to help control her diet, other than giving her healthy foods in appropriate portions when you are responsible for feeding her. If I were you, I'd talk it over with your husband so he and the girl's mom can maybe talk about getting her on a doctor-approved diet and maybe enrolling her in some fun exercise-oriented activities like soccer or swimming. I think it is good that you are worried about her, and if you go to your husband and his ex first rather than making it look like you're going over their heads with it, they will probably respond better and help you to help her succeed in weight loss, and nobody will think you're an evil stepmother. This is a very important issue- the number of obese children in America is shockingly high, and not only does it set them up for years of pain and ridicule as they struggle to lose weight, but it is also putting a terrible strain on their hearts and setting them up for all kinds of health problems as they get older. If you have the financial means, there are plenty of weight-loss summer day camps for girls her age, that focus on healthy living, exercise, and portion control while giving the girls a chance to make friends and have fun. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 9

You realy should go to a DR she could have health problems that you dont' know about. And a DR can hlep lead you and baby girl down a path to health.

All I can say is EXERSIZE that never hurt any chiald. Put her in a swim class get her on a team and only offer healthy snacks and meals. This should be what you and daddy do as well she will do as she sees. Ohnestly tell me how menny times will a chiald just do what you say cuz they should

Answer 10

Well have her eat about 6 meals a day but not meals snacks and about every 3 hours. Have her drink alot of water to make her full. You do the same because she will follow your habits and go bike riding with her, jumprope together, or other fun exercises/activtes together. Group exercise is better for her and if you don't change her habits now tragic things will happen