How do I take what he said to me??

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and 6 months ago we moved into an apartment together. We are very happy, very much in love. Here's the issue: Whenever I cook (which is almost every night) he raves about how great of a cook I am. I love to cook and pride myself on being able to create delicious meals. Italian is my specialty. He loves my meatballs, stuffed shells, pasta sauce, lagana...everything (he always goes back for seconds, even thirds some nights). His brother and sister inlaw are coming to visit this weekend. They are bringing their 2 yr old and newborn. Since its last minute we don't really have the $$ to go out to eat every night. I was talking to him about dinners I could make for all of us. I suggested lasagna because he always says its so good. When I mentioned it to him, he said "Well, maybe we could try something different." I let it go, but should I be offended?

Answer 1

Maybe he's signalling to you that his brother or sister-in-law aren't really fans of Italian food, or someone may have an allergy. I wouldn't take his question in a negative way, but maybe you could ask him what his relatives like to eat and go from there. I know a lot of women who've just had babies who simply cannot tolerate cheese. That could be a little embarrassing for a new mommie to have to pick at her delicious food. Another meaning behind his comment is that he possibly just doesn't want to share your scrumptious treats and wants to make sure there's plenty of leftovers he can take to work the next day. I betcha he's just being selfish!

The real issue here is if you're going to share your recipes with me! hehehehe

Answer 2

Yes, let it go. I would go as far as making that lasagna and tucking it away in the freezer. I wouldn't announce it.
Don't talk to him about the dinners you could make, ASK him what he'd like to do for dinners. Men are very straight-forward. It's us girls that like to read more into things they say. It's typical of us to hear something and think: "I wonder what he meant by that?" Well, just that. He would like something different.
Ask open ended questions like, different how? Do you have a specific dish in mind? Play a game. Say okay, your brother and family are eating dinner with us, we are having great conversation at the table, the kids are behaving just great. What do you envision served at the table? Throw burgers/smoked sausages on the grill, make a big potato salad and fried chicken and take it to the beach. Pack a cooler with sandwiches, chips, juices to have in the car and as you're seeing the sights you may come upon a park, under a big shady tree, picnic tables. We recently took a 1,500 mile trip and that cooler in the car was so much better than paying restaurant prices or waiting to be seated and all the rest.
I think you are wrapped up in how you will look according to how good a cook you are. Don't do that. Set out to give your guests a pleasant visit and make them comfortable. They won't remember what you expertly served but they will remember how you made them feel. Keep your guests' water glasses full at all times. Anticipate.

Answer 3

No don't be offended. If he hated your stuff he wouldn't be going to the buffet line so often. I think Julia Childs had the whole cooking entertaining thing perfectly described. Effectively, nothing matters if you cook the best that you can. Put love in the food and it shows, what anyone else says doen't matter.

Answer 4

Don't take offense. No use in starting a "nothing fight." He obviously loves your cooking, he always compliments it and goes for seconds. I'm sure he'd let you know if he didn't like it long before now. Like another user said, maybe his family watches calories, or maybe they don't like italtin too much. Or maybe he just wants to see what else you can cook up. I wouldn't start a fight over that. You are worrying over nothing.

Answer 5

I say no, but ask him WHY he suggested something different. Maybe he knows that one of them doesn't like lasagna or is intolerant to the cheese that's used in the recipe. Communication is the key to any relationship.

Answer 6

meggybucks1 - How you hear what someone says is determined by your interpretations, and your interpretations flow from your past. This is very important to know, especially if you find that you overreact to what others say or habitually get your feelings hurt. . . . Remember, what someone said is not necessarily what you heard, and what you heard is not necessarily what they meant.

Don't be offended, just ask your boyfriend what he meant by "maybe we could try something different."

Answer 7

no,i think hes tired of the same thing cause thats what it sounds like you make every night so no,just try something different for a a change,its good to do that once in a while
try mexican

Answer 8

I think you should let it go. Ask him what you think they might like if you cook food at home?

Then have him help you to cook it. Or at least have him set the table and wash the dishes.

Answer 9

He may want to impress the folks with taking them out...
dont let the small talk words create problems when they just might be that "small talk"...
He may also want to show that you guys can take them out....although you may not have the money.....
Guys like showing off a bit that "hey I got my sh?t" together......

Answer 10

I wouldn't. Maybe his brother isn't into Italian, or are watching their carbs, or whatever. But ask him for his input on what he'd like you to make/what they'd like. Why keep guessing?