Why do people take it personally when I say I don't want to have kids?

Question

I'm a 30 year old male, and at this point I'm sure I'm never going to want kids. I've noticed however, that people (with, as well as without kids) tend to react with alarm and concern, and even get offended when I tell them this. Why is this? It's not like I dislike children. In fact I quite get a kick out of them. I just don't want any of my own. It's like clowns...amusing, but I don't want to live with any,

This is in response to the "keep it to yourself" person...I don't just go spouting off about this. It usually comes up when people ask me directly.

Answer 1

People are taking it personally as if you are stating that you believe no one should have kids. Its wrong for someone to take offense to that statement, but they are feeling like you are saying they are wrong for wanting kids or having kids. It is their own insecurities though

Answer 2

Yeah, I don't get this either. I think women get even MORE rubbish about a decision like that than men. Personally I have three, but I think if a person doesn't want kids, he/she shouldn't have them. I knew a woman who never wanted kids and ended up getting pregnant. The little girl is now 11 years old and although her basic needs are met, she pretty much just raises herself. There is no affection, etc. People should let others decide what is best for them.

Answer 3

It is just out of the "norm". I wouldn't worry about it. Some friends of my husband and I are married, but have decided to never have kids. I was shocked for a moment. That was because they were the first I had ever heard say they didn't want kids. A second later I thought it was cool. They have different plans for there life and kids aren't in it. Infact, I now see as cool. Not that I would change having mine, but I would love the idea of just picking up and going if I wanted to.

Answer 4

In The Incredibles extras DVD, there is an alternate opening where at a neighborhood BBQ, a childless person goes around talking about the wonders of not having children. The wife of the protagonist gets quite offended that "[she] thinks raising a child is nothing... that [people] have given up their whole lives, their jobs just to raise a family [and how she] thinks that children are a waste of [their] prime years"

Some people may think that that is what you think about children. Others may think you are selfish and don't want to spend your time to create a family. there are other reasons, but this is all i can think of right now.

I understand. Being in a service club, i have seen my share of hyperactive children. if you're going to explain to an offended person, just say it carefully.

Answer 5

Bravo for you!!!! It's so good to see someone actually give it some thought and decide not to have children instead of just blindly stumbling into it thinking it's one of the steps of life that everyone has to make. I think too many people have this time line in their heads, gotta finish school, get a job, get married, have kids, make lots of money, retire, and they never consider whether one or all of those steps may not be what they really want out of life.

Answer 6

We're all such sheep- people tend to get freaked out when another person chooses to break the social norms, and that is what you're doing when you say you don't want kids. While I think it is perfectly normal to not want kids, just as it is perfectly normal to want them, many people will see your comments about not wanting children as a personal affront to their core beliefs, even though you meant no such thing by it.

Answer 7

People, especially those with kids, think that when you don't want kids, you are judging them for having them. It's ridiculous, but that's how it is. I have two, soon to be 4, kids and I love them to pieces. But I totally respect people who don't want kids and make the decision not to have them. Having kids is not for everyone. And I respect you for making the decision not to have them. Just make sure that you marry someone (if you haven't already) that doesn't want them.

Answer 8

Who cares what people think, This is your life and you have the right to choose if you dont want kids. Not everyone is meant to be a father as the same goes for women.

Answer 9

well, I'm sure women get upset. Especially those women who can't have children. I'm only 17 and my doctors have already told me I can't have kids. I don't plan on having them now but idealy, i had wanted a family in the future. I don't really care that you don't want kids because, well at least you know you don't want them. At least you're not like my dad who had me, and now has nothing to do with my life because he never wanted kids in the first place. IF you don't want kids then that's only your business. don't committ to having them if you don't truely have it in your heart to care for them.

Answer 10

Because people are nosy and can't stand that people make different choices.

I don't get offended, or take it personally, I say "Good for you", as a mom of 2, I love it when a person is honest and doesn't breed just because society says you should.