My bf since i met him raised his daughter, congrats in all but she is now 6yrs. he allows her to sleep w/ the two of us, im preg. so i prefer sleeping naked, he sleeps w/ boxers and spoons her literally, seem cute yet? well i think this is sick and getting out of hand, as he takes her a shower as well, right a man!! ihave a 6yr old son from prev., and he does not sleep w/ me and he is now taught to take his own showers/bath, i feel like he need to allow her sleep in her own bedRm and allow me to step in as her new mother figure and teach her some independence, this matter is ruining my adult space at night, including sex life, it's making me feel weird to wake up and see my man at the other end of the bed cuddling w/ a little girl when he should be carressing me. am i jealous? or concerned? i love both him and his little girl that's why i never interupted this, but how do i confront this weird behavior w/ out seeming like im trying to "ruin" the father/daughter relationship?
2007-06-28 10:16:26 · 33 answers · asked by KAT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when I was six I would sleep in one of my parents rooms (they are divorced so it depends who im spending time with) and that was only if i had a nightmare. Cuddling with your child is fine as long as they are small children and it is not sexual.
you are pregnant and say this is ruining your sex life? you should not have one if you are pregnant.
Dating this boy does not make you the girls' mother....
and where the heck is your son??? is he living with his father?? if he is- THEN OF COARS HE DOESNT SLEEP WITH YOU!!!
you are perverted for sleeping naked in the presence of a six year old girl!!
oh, and yes, you are jealous!
2007-06-28 10:22:37 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Gabbie ♥ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This little girl has had her daddy all to herself, she may see this as some kind of attack on her. You may be a little jealous, but so might she. Remember logic goes out the window around Love. Keeping her close could be a way of keeping her safe. Getting close without coming between, is you aim. It will take time. remember your sex life need not be confined to the bedroom. Try not to take it as a contest, even if at some level, it is. Twenty years ago little would be thought of a protective father caring for his little, girl...but these are less innocent , more paranoid times. Love them, have patience, between you there are two children about the same age, the makings of a beautiful family.....good luck
2007-06-28 11:02:45 · answer #2 · answered by steven m 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can see how you're concerned. I have an 11 year old brother who will still sleep with our parents if they let. I slept with my grandparents until I was about 7. The only person who ever spooned me was my mother. I know that when I have children, I'm having them sleep in their own room at an early age. I think it's unfair to your son that he has to sleep in his own bed, when his sister can sleep with the two of you. I think you should bring it up to your husband about how you feel. You shoul,d be the most comfortable while you're pregnant. You need your own space, and should be able to be spooned, too! Now the taking a shower part, I know that she has asked him already, "What's that?" I had a 3 year old cousin ask me that, and I knew it was time to stop letting him bathe with me.
2007-06-28 10:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by iviss84 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Three days of vomiting is too much for a six year old. Smaller bodies get dehydrated more quickly. The headaches could be from the stress of throwing up. If the medicine the doctor gave her is not working, he needs to give her something else. The abdominal pain with the vomiting is scary to me. It may just be soreness from the vomiting but if it is like cramps it could be something else. If your doctor seems less concerned than he should, try going to a urgent care center or the emergency room so your child can be seen by a fresh pair of medical eyes.
2016-04-01 09:21:57 · answer #4 · answered by Christa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are correct in your asssement - he needs to start creating boundaries because she's no longer a baby and it doesn't look appropriate but it is also very important for her to learn to sleep on her own and bathe herself as well - the older she gets the more complicated it will be. It seems like youre afraid to bring it up - but you should, you'll just have to be careful w/ how you approach it and him - you don't want him to be offended or defensive - so I'd leave any references to how it looks inappropriate out of it and focus on the necessity for you both to have your own private space as well as his daughter because she's getting older...and hey, what about when she starts spending the night @ friends houses? It will be really bad for her if she can't take a shower on her own - right? If you see no progress therapy may be a good idea to sort it all out especially since you both alreay have children.
2007-06-28 10:22:18 · answer #5 · answered by Kimbermai 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You officially win the award for most selfish women of the year!
He's just your boyfriend not your husband, don't involve yourself in his relationship with his daughter.....there is nothing wrong about sleeping together....it is wrong of you to assume to be the new mother figure!!! How dare you try and take control!
"this matter is ruining my adult space at night, including sex life..."
How selfish of you! Your sex life?!?! That's all you care about?
"it's making me feel weird to wake up and see my man at the other end of the bed cuddling w/ a little girl when he should be carressing me"
Jesus freakin christ you are selfish! You obviously need to be with a man who doesn't have a kid, you obviously can't understand that he's a great father to his daughter....if he had any sense he would dump you immediately.....
2007-06-28 10:24:04 · answer #6 · answered by Randolph 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
it seems like he is more insecure about letting his little girl grow then it being sexual. if it was, you would see signs right away of her being sexually abused, and if you all share the bed together, i'm sure you would see the abuse as well.
It just seems like a bad habit. No parent should let their child sleep in the bed with them unless they have financial issues that force them to share a room. it would be more appropriate for your son to share a room with his daughter. this may also cause her to develop some dependancy issues. it shouldn't ruin their relationship. You just really have to explain to him that she is a big girl who needs her own bed and you want your private time and space in the bedroom. he is hindering her development into a young woman and it can make her dependant on men as she grows up. the last thing he wants is for his daughter to be dependant on a man that is not him. if he encourages this behavior, she may grow sexually confused and it will make it hard on her relationships with men and she grows older. he needs to be supportive of her growth, and he needs to cut those apron strings!
2007-06-28 11:17:56 · answer #7 · answered by Malina 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not being weird at all. Both my daughters have slept with us until they were 6-7 and then I had to literally shove them out of my bed and into their own. My husband would be perfectly happy to have us all together in one bed. It is very normal and very loving, you should consider yourself lucky you're married to a man who loves his children and value's his time with them. Just because a man is happy with the family bed does not mean he is a pervert! You are a gown woman and if you desire to have your step-daughter sleep in her own bed for real reasons than so be it but not because you are jealous. I hate my girls sleeping with me because I don't sleep well, I wake up at every nose and movement and a 6 year old is to wiggly to let me sleep a whole night. You are jealous and need to stop, if you don;t he will choose and odds are it won't be you......Just tonight I argued with my husband over our 6 year old in our bed, but not because I was jealous.
2007-06-28 10:28:37 · answer #8 · answered by Petra 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Kat is a good mother and I don't think it is right that a lot of people on here are insinuating her boyfriend is not to be trusted.
I would like to think that I haven't been infected with this 'pedo paranoia' that is happening all over the world.
As a man I can't even speak/look at a child without feeling that people will label me as a bit pervy.
- That is a wrong situation for the world to be in.
2007-06-28 10:24:24 · answer #9 · answered by jojo5050 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
well, its not good...what if he gets erect while laying next to her? Id say something and put a stop to that right away.
once in a while if theyre not actually touching seems okay...but you could be helping the girl with baths now and sheesh dont be sleeping naked next to kids either.
it all sounds like a bad sleeping habits with small children!
it would not ruin the relationship unless he starts behaving differently towards her as if he is upset she's not cuddling next to him at bedtime! just wrong.
2007-06-28 10:23:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋