Christian parents, how would you handel walking in on your preteen masterbating?

Answer 1

I hope they would apolgise and leave the room, closing the door quietly behind them.

Answer 2

First of all, you need to decide what your moral stance is. Talk to your minister or a close friend to help you figure that out. In our family, we told our oldest son (when he was about 10) that though our body has natural urges and inclinations, they are there for the ultimate pupose of creating life within the bonds of marriage. There are many natural inclinations that we are asked by God to overcome -- greed, selfishness, envy, dishonesty, as well as sexual desire (before marriage). We tried to really focus on the concept that the purpose of sex is to make babies, and that puberty is a time for his body to start changing so that when he is older, he'll be able to be a father. We also talked to him about how being married to someone is so special and that sex is a gift that God gave married couples so that they could be closer to each other than anyone else in the world. Playing around with sex (including masturbation) takes away from that closeness.

Good luck! I know this is uncomfortable. My husband and I both talked with our son, at separate times, so that he could feel that he could discuss this topic with either of us. But it wasn't real easy for me, I admit. The thing that's important, is for you to get all your uncomfortable-ness and uneasiness out BEFORE you talk with him, so that he doesn't think that it's taboo. You might even mention that you were caught off guard when you came into his room the other night, and that he had grown up faster than you were ready for.

Answer 3

I would turn around and walk out of the room.
I would definitely need to pray about that one. Then continue as God directs me to.
Good thing I have 10 years to pray about it before my daughter becomes a preteen.

Answer 4

That is why people should knock before entering a room. Do not even want to think about it. Never happened with my oldest son, and he's grown and a dad himself now, but I really don't want to be in that position with my newly turned 13 year old. So I'll just make sure to knock first.

Answer 5

I'm with James O on this one.
This is really delicate. It's going to happen, and I wonder how many teens would stop even after hearing that it's a sin?

I think this requires a very careful approach.

-B

Answer 6

Tactfully maybe walk out and come back in after wards. Talk to them and be compassionate to their feelings show that you care and don't condemn them like some Christians do.

Answer 7

There are several points here:

1) IT'S A SIN: Genesis explains how God considers it a sin to waist the "seed". The story is of a guy who's brother died and he had to marry his sister-in-law out of Jewish law. The purpose was that he was to create a son for his dead brother to carry on the family line. Instead, every time he made love to his sister-in-law he withdrew before ejaculation and let it fall on the ground. God was angry with him and he died.

2) IT'S SELF-CENTERED: Masturbation is done for the pleasure of yourself alone. Man is a social creature and needs relationships. If you are only concerned with yourself, then you will have nothing to offer to others in a relationship. The net result is you will stay alone in a self-destroying habit.

3) IT’S HABITUAL: It is habit forming, like smoking, biting nails, etc. There are many people today who started young and now find that they can’t stop themselves. They never developed the discipline and self-control earlier and always gave in to the temptation. Now it affects any intimate relationship they try to have with someone who they want to truly love, but can’t. It will truly hurt them and those they love the most.

4) IT AFFECTS THE PSYCIE: It reduces others to objects of your perversion. In order to achieve the self-centered goal you have to fantasize about others being manipulated to your will. Although the act is short lived, the fantasizing continues even when you are not masturbating. You start to imagine others as objects of your pleasure, supporting the self-centered obsession and continuing the self-destroying habit.

5) IT AFFECTS YOUR PERSONALITY: If others are just objects for your pleasure, then they will avoid you. People want to be respected/loved for who they are. Masturbation leads you to only see people for who you want them to be and as you see them, you will treat them. As people get tired of you never treating them with dignity, they will avoid you, supporting the self-centered obsession and continuing the self-destroying habit.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. I have 5 kids and I used to have this habit. I am a spiritual director and it’s amazing how difficult this habit is for men to break once they start. It is best to stop it before it starts to destroy the best part of them they can give to their true love someday.

Answer 8

We have two sons but we respect each others privacy, doors are to be closed and we all "have" to knock and wait until we are allow to go in. So, I'm pretty sure I'll never see myself in that situation.

Answer 9

Simply ignore it for the time being, and then choose a private moment to discuss puberty, sex, birth control, and the other "facts of life."

Answer 10

what is with all the preteen masterbation questions...?


i would wonder where they got the idea from...