I met someone... we got along so great (he was gushing about me).. now he's switched off. He's rejected me and broke my heart and is not responsive. I need to move on and heal. all of my friends and family say it is not me but his sickness. How do I heal without blaming myself? I know this is because of his severe disorder but I am so hurt. Please don't respond if you are going to say mean things... i feel so fragile as-is. I know he is very ill now... I got attached and now I'm hurting. How do I cope? thanks.
2007-06-28 09:06:39 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
You wouldn't blame yourself if he was diagnosed with a medical condition would you? This is the same type of thing, except that it involves emotions, behaviors and thoughts. If he truly has Bipolar Disorder, his discontinuation of interest in you has absolutely nothing to do with who you are or what you did.
If you understand that he is ill and are still blaming yourself, you would also probably benefit from some therapy. Inappropriately attributing guilt and worthlessness to oneself is a symptom of depression, and it's a symptom worth getting rid of. How much time has it been since this happened? You may be going through a normal course of sadness resulting from a broken heart, but if this has been going on for awhile it might mean that you also have some sensitivities that psychotherapy can address.
Has he actually been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder? Other related disorders include Narcissistic Personality Disorder, in which people are overly consumed with their own status, image, etc., and will treat their romantic interests amazingly until they find something to devalue, after which the significant other gets kicked to the curb without empathy or responsiveness, like you indicate.
2007-06-28 09:10:54 · answer #1 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like any realtionship gone wrong, you have to give yourself time to grieve the loss. Get active, hang with friends and don't let yourself get depressed. Now for some motherly advice: Being involved with a person with BP is really hard. It's like a roller coaster ride that you didn't intend to get on.
I know this because I have been married 30 years to a very
nice man who is bipolar. The first 20 years was a roller coaster as neither of us knew what was going on. Medication
has improved our life 85%. I tell you this so you will look at the big picture of your life. Maybe it is meant for you to be sad now and get over it rather than life on that roller coaster. Think about it. and good luck
2007-06-28 10:12:09 · answer #2 · answered by Linda M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother has been diagnosed as bipolar, but refuses to take any medication. I was kicked out of the family by her ten years ago because of her severe paranoia issues. I can tell you that it was the hardest thing I ever dealt with, but I had to learn it wasn't my fault. It took a long time, but now I know that we can't have a relationship until she gets some help. I wish you good luck because I know it's not easy!
2007-06-28 09:17:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up with a bipolar Mom and brother so I recognize how complicated their movements may also be. It took me many years and plenty of studying approximately the disorder to detect it is not them....it is the ailment that's exchanging them. Severe bipolar sickness is tough to are living with. The temper swings and persona alterations are complicated, hurtful and tough to get beyond. I desire he's getting aid with a therapist and medicines. My Mom and brother each had an excessively tough time till they discovered the correct mixture of medicines that labored for them and now they appear to be in general steady. Don't blame your self, it has not anything to do with you, it is the ailment. Read up on it and discover out up to you'll be able to approximately it and so that it will aid you to position matters into standpoint. Something larger and more healthy is coming your manner so maintain your chin up and a optimistic self worth and I recognize that matters gets larger. It regularly hurts while a character we could us down and alterations entirely out of nowhere. Hang in there and take a little time to simply do matters for your self to think larger. Do no longer blame your self!
2016-09-05 10:06:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand exactly what you are going through...I have been in the same situation. It is so hard when you are in love or have very strong feelings for a person who is Bi-polar. But honey you can't blame yourself, it's something that is out of your control. Alot of times, the person with bi-polar knows that they are sick and when they fall in love withsome one, they are usually afraid of rejection or that ppl won't understand their condition. But sometimes, they will push ppl away because they don't want to hurt you. I am sorry that you are hurting so bad, but there is nothing you can do but wait it out. Maybe you can talk to the person, and let them know that you are worried about them, let them know you care and you are there for them. If thatt person doesn't want to be in a relationship, maybe you two can be friends. I know that this doesn't give you a solution to your problem, and honey I am afraid there is no rock solid solution for your situation. I really hope that every thing works out for you, and I wish you the best. If you ever need to just vent or speak to someone you are more than welcome to email me.
2007-06-28 11:22:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have bipolar and use to do that in relationships all the time. its really not you as a person. in the begining of the relationship he was in his manic stage which makes him feel so happy and he probably associated that happiness with you. now the relationship is consisitent and he has swayed from mania to depression so of course he again fixates that feeling on you. people with bipolar cant and will not except this happens because of them so they blame their significant other. its hard until you know u have it and learn about it. even after knowing about it its still hard to stop doing this unles your on meds.if he cant talk to you about his illness then it will be hard to even have any type of relationship so you should just move on and know it is not you it is him. life as a bipolar person is very hard and confusing and can sometimes be even harder for someone who is in a bipolar persons life. just think its better for it to happen now then to be in a relationship with this person and constantly haviung to go through these up and downs. it can be emotionally unstable for you so maybe its best this way!
2007-06-28 09:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋