I was invited and accepted to attend a wedding of the sister of my future son in law. The day before I became so ill I could not attend. I already have the wedding card and cash enclosed, but now must mail it. Should I add what I think is the value of the meals that my absence cost?
2007-06-28 08:42:10 · 19 answers · asked by cgminime 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It is not necessary to add more money ... the card and money you have already allotted is plenty. The location's caterer should already be preparing for 3-5% over the guaranteed number anyways, so don't feel bad. Having someone take your card and explain your situation might be a little better than mailing it though.
2007-06-28 09:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No, unless you feel you have to. They should understand that you notified them the day before or of the wedding that you were ill and could not attend. Since you have a wedding card and cash to give them as a gift (oh, do not mail cash get a check or bank check) and wish them well, explain again that you were ill on their wedding date and simply could not attend and hope they had a great wedding (maybe you could see the video) and apologize. These things happen and it would be insulting to them to get extra money knowing it was for the food they paid for, but you didn't eat. It is possible someone who did not RSVP that they were coming or even said we are not coming, showed up and ate the food intended for you in their headcount.
Later in the year you might ask through the grapevine (gossip group) if the bride felt she had too much food paid for and not enough people came and then at Christmas time say, I was thinking of you and here is a gift cerficiate for a bookstore, grocery, whatever. But it would be insulting to know a guest feels that have to pay for the food when they were too ill to attend. We aught all to love one another and accept that we have to make allowances for illnesses and other emergencies.
I hope this helps you.
2007-06-28 15:54:07 · answer #2 · answered by TigerLilly003 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, the gift itself should usually cover the meal...you don't need to add extra money...HOWEVER it would probably be nice to write a little note in the card apologizing for you not being able to attend and how disappointed you are that you missed their special day.
2007-06-28 15:49:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The cost of meals is not your responsibility. You didn't simply fail to show up; you were ill. An apology and an explanation is always in order when one fails to appear at a social occasion one has agreed to attend, but that is all.
No polite couple would accept money from you to pay when you were too ill to attend.
2007-06-28 15:48:15 · answer #4 · answered by gileswench 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford to, yes. If you can't, an apology is sufficient. No matter how many people RSVP, couples know that there will be a few emergencies that will prohibit every single person from attending their wedding. If you died in a car crash the night before, you wouldn't even be able to send apologies. It's a wedding, not an appearance before the queen of England and you certainly can't help having gotten sick. Of course some people get really uptight about this kind of thing. When my dad married my stepmother, my daughter got chicken pox 2 days before and I could not find a single babysitter on such short notice. I still haven't been forgiven for sending "regrets" and that was years and years ago. Hopefully you are dealing with a more reasonable couple.
2007-06-28 15:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by stevijan 5 · 0⤊ 5⤋
No. Unfortunately these things happen. You are not responsible to reimburse for the meals. It's nice to call if you can. Final count is taken sometimes 24 hours in advance, so sometimes the fees can be reduced.
2007-06-29 15:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just write a note saying you are very sorry you could not go to the wedding, give the gift you intended them to have. They know your ill and not just blowing them off.
2007-06-28 15:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by bluebird 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not includes the value of the meals. You were a guest at their party, it is not your responsibility to pay for your meal at someone's party.
Just mail your gift as you normally would. I'm sure the Bride/Groom are just glad you are healthy, and they will be grateful for your generous gift.
2007-06-28 16:27:49 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't try to guess how much the dinner cost because a chicken dinner in one hotel can cost $21.95 and a chicken dinner in another hotel can cost $49.95 and a chicken dinner in a different hotel can cost $79.95.
Sending the Bride and Groom a larger wedding "gift" is not the answer or solution. Send the Bride and Groom the gift that you intended to give them . . and then find out who actually "hosted" (paid for) the wedding reception and send them a note of explanation and a gift certificate to a nice restaurant. They will appreciate your thoughtfulness and you'll feel better also!
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A wedding ceremony officiant
2007-06-28 16:20:20 · answer #9 · answered by Avis B 6 · 0⤊ 5⤋
No...In theory, they invited you because they wanted you to be there. It's thoughtful of you to have purchased a gift for them. If you could have attended, you would have, I'm sure.
2007-06-28 15:45:45 · answer #10 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋