How do I make my Step father apart of the cermoney without hurting my dads feeling?

Question

I need some advice. Im getting married soon and I'm having my dad walk me down the aisle. My mom ask me well what about your stepfater? Ive thought about it and he has been there for me alot during the hard times. And my mom also asked me what about having him walk you down the aisle too?? I did say NO to that . I dont want to hurt my dads feelings , he is still my dad no matter what. My sister did that and i know it crushed my dads heart. So please help me and give me some advice on how i should make my stepfather feel apart of the ceremony?! THank you.

Answer 1

Honor the man who has been a part of your life. Honor the man who acted like a father.

Answer 2

You said that your step dad has been there for you during hard times, well this is one of those times. I am assuming that your father stayed an active part of your life after your mom remarried. If that's the case than your stepfather is a big boy and should not even want to put you in this position. This wedding is your day. If your step father really wants to contribute he can consider making a toast at the reception or being an usher. You could also ask you fiance about him possibly being a groomsmen( keep in mind that it's his decision only). So when your mom ask what about your stepfather ask your mom how would she feel if dad asked me to substitute you with his wife. Explain that you love your stepdad and respect him as part of the family be that's no reason to deprive your dad of this rite of passage.

Answer 3

My daughter's friend had her step-father walk her halfway down the aisle. Her Dad was waiting in the pew and stood up, the step-father put the bride's hand into her Dad's and gave her a kiss, the Dad's shook hands, then her Dad walked her up to the altar to the groom. Everyone thought this was such a thoughtful idea on the bride's part, she included both of these special men in her life in the ceremony. Hopefully your Dad and step-dad get along and are able to work out something like she did.

Answer 4

What about if your stepfather takes you from your home in the car to the chapel and then hands you over to your dad, then your dad walks you down the aisle, as this is his right as your father, tell them both that you dont want a father of the bride speech or dance because you value and love both of them too much to have to decide, hope all goes well!

Answer 5

Wow. First let me say that I understand! I just got married a month ago. Only my father has a history of hurting me (emotionally), and my step-dad has always been like a "daddy". Are you close to your grandfather? Could you have him walk you down, and just tell your two dads that you love them both very much, and didn't want to hurt either of them?.... That you hope they understand. Or what about having your step-dad walk you in to the reception with your new husband waiting for you in the middle?

Here's the thing. It is your wedding. Do it the way that will make you happy. Your decisions may upset a few people but would you rather be upset yourself on a day that is supposed to be one of your happiest? Try to find a happy medium, but don't completely sacrifice your dreams. They are YOURS. Good luck!

Answer 6

I had both my father and step-father walk me down the aisle but I understand that it wouldn't work for everyone. To keep him involved you could have him dance with you for a father-daughter dance at the reception (either the second half of the song you started with your dad or a different song entirely) or if you want him to do something during the ceremony you could have him help light the unity candles with the mothers if you are doing something like that or have him do a reading or something.

Answer 7

Solve your problem completely by walking down the aisle yourself! I did it for my wedding, partially because my Father was deceased, but also because I felt that at my age I knew how to walk on my own. I could have had my brother or godfather do it, but that's not what I wanted - I wanted to walk to the altar as a strong, single woman and come back with my husband. It also doesn't look like you are playing favorites with either man, so neither one can feel 'left out' or resentful towards the other. Your parents (all of them) should be proud of the young lady they've raised and the independence you learned from them.

I do like the suggestion someone made to have your step-father walk in your grandmother, as well as have him stand with your Mother for the "who gives this woman" part.

Answer 8

Bravo for recognizing that your Stepfather is part of your life too!

Your Stepfather can . .
Do a reading or poem during the ceremony
Give a prayer or irish blessing during the ceremony
Greet your wedding guests at the "church" door and welcome them
Introduce the Bride and Groom to their guests at the reception
Welcome your guests to the reception at the door or entrance
Be an usher
Hand out bubbles or ceremony programs

When the officiant asks, "Who gives this Bride in marriage?"
Your Father . . your Mother . . and your Stepfather can stand up and respond together, "Her family does."

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 9

You see this is the problem with Children and divorce. The children are ALWAYS the innocent victims. Do what YOU and your Groom want. Stop worrying about what your parents want. You need to decide what want.

As for the dad's here is what you need to ask yourself. Who has been your daddy? Your bio dad or your stepdad? Which one was there for you more and was more of a real dad to you? THat is who you should honor. Just because bio dad donated sperm, does not mean that he was really a dad to you, and that does not nessacarally give him all of those privledges like walking you down the isle. Also just because someone married your Mom, does not mean that you have to accept him as your dad.

This is your wedding. You need to do what you want to do, what you feel is the best. Stop worrying about who is going to get their feelings hurt. Did they stop to consider your feelings when they divorced and got new spouses? Tell them to all start acting like adults and to stop behaving like children. You decide who you want in your wedding, and everyone else will just have to deal with it.

Then learn from this and decide right now that your children will NEVER have to make this decision. Make sure you are marrying the right person for the right reasons- and then stay married, so that your children will never deal with divorced parents.

Answer 10

Pick a special song to dance with your step-dad at the wedding. You can do 2 father daughter dances you know.

Listen, this is your day and you can not please everyone. Do what you think is right in your heart. I know you are not looking to hurt anyone but, if the guy was like a father to you then give him his due. Your father should understand that this man has been good to you and he should be great full for that.

I am sure you have enough love for everyone. Congrats o the wedding.

Answer 11

I'd suggest having him stand with your mom in the family section first. Second, I'd suggest asking him to make a toast during the reception. Third, you could have a father-daughter dance AND a step-father-daughter dance so they could each have something special.

Another idea is to pick two special flower colors for your father and stepfather and feature them in your bouquet to show that they are both important to you (and have them wear a matching on in their boutonniere).

Also you can just sit down with your stepfather and tell him how much he's meant to you and how happy you are that he'll be there on your special day...

hope your wedding is wonderful and you don't let this bring you down.