My 7yr old son is top in his year in all subject, he also does yr3/4 work . So why is he getting himself in t

Question

My lad is fantastic,love him to bits!! We play,read,go cinema and all that, but over the last few weeks he has been getting in trouble at school (being rude to teachers etc) just being silly really. We talk he says it's nothing and is apologetic , a few days later same old thing !! We'v done the naughty chair/time out/ taking away his toys/ all the warnings he needs,yet things go pear shape within days. Now is straight to bed after the usual warnings etc .. He's rude to the missus and hits his younger sister!! Trying to nip things in the bud but its not good!! We don't smack but can see how easily it can be brought on.. Any thing I havent tried yet please go for it..

Answer 1

Is it possible that he is being bullied? Is he getting stick from his classmates for being picked all the time by his teacher?
Children often 'play up' as a sign of them being bullied. Have a quiet word with his teacher and ask if he seems popular in class, and if there are any issues in the playground that you should know about.
Hopefully it will sort itself out and he's just going through the motions of pushing the boundaries like a lot of children his age. Good luck

Answer 2

I had similar issues with my son. What I did was have a meeting with his teacher and my son, and came to the conclusion he was very capable of doing the work, but gets easily distracted. In my son's school, the children have daily checkpoint folders that we sign each day. We decided the teacher was going to give a daily report on his behavior on a 1 through 5 basis. A 5 means he was doing everything expected and required and a 1 was he was "having a bad day". Ok.. so I wanted an incentive for my son to get a 5 each day.. I told him if he got a 5, he would get 1 dollar... a 4 was fifty cents, a 3 was nothing.. a 2.. he owed me 50 cents and a 1..he owes me a dollar. This gave him the ability to earn $5 a week by doing well in school. I hate bribery, but this worked wonderfully. He pulled the occasional low score, but the bugger tried to put me in the poor house. He worked harder and earned a little spending money.

Answer 3

Intelligence should not be confused with maturity. Boys typically mature later than girls.

He misbehaves because he is getting away with it. I agree that giving him a smack may not be the answer, but I can also see how it can be so compelling a solution. Taking away things has not worked because you have not taken away something of high or extremely high value to him.

Figure out what he really likes, enjoys, or wants. Make sure he knows that next time he misbehave he will lose that item/privilege. Then when he acts up take it away. If that doesn't work take more things away or take some high value item away longer or even forever.

Sadly sometimes they are so hard headed that they ignore the punishment. If you were to smack him you might find that you could not hit him hard enough to get his attention.

Answer 4

It sounds like this bright young man isn't being challenged. My neph is the same way. He acts out in school because he's so far ahead of everyone else. He has time to be naughty. He may also feel a little out of place and think he needs to be a tough guy in order to fit in with the other kids. Some smart kids (like my nephew) feel the need to dumb themselves down. Check w/the guidance counselor at school to see if there are any gifted/talentented programs available. Also, be sure there's no bullying going on at school. Ask him, specifically, about each of the adults in his life (teachers, too) and guage his reaction to each person. If none of these things help, then "threaten" him with you becoming the classroom dad for a week or two. Your presence at school may embarrass him enough to straighten him out!

Answer 5

Could it be that he's being picked on at school ? Maybe the kids are calling him names for being bright. Funnily enough I have had to have a discussion with my 9 year old today, the teacher called me in to tell me that he'd been hiding his gym kit to avoid games, apparently it was because the other boys were teasing him becasue he's not a very fast runner. I just explained that he can't be good at everything and what he excels at, others don't.

It's a tough gig being a parent and sometimes you can't do right for doing wrong. You are doing the absolute right thing by keeping lines of communication open with your son. Is there any chance you could have a word with his teacher ?

It's also possible that he might be playing rough games in school, again my son used to do this and take it out on his younger siblings (arghh!!!). My eldest also used to pick on the younger ones when he was having a hard time at school, it was almost as if he was looking for an easy target to vent his anger on.

Hope my advice has given some food for thought - Good Luck!

Answer 6

Show him how his actions hurt others by asking him how he would feel is his actions were being done to him. He might be bored, looking for a challenge, trying to test your authority-- a good number of things. Either way, he needs to learn. It's good that you don't smack- there are other forms of child discipline. Try grounding him for a week, or making him do household chores for every time he hits his sister. If there's still no change, a child psychologist may not be a bad idea.

Answer 7

Went through all this with my nephew - first symptoms were like this when he was 3 - very intelligent with a very inquisitive mind but very naughty with it.
Would do things he knew he shouldn't of done - said sorry as he was always told to do - but would do these things again.
when he was 10 he was diagnosed with ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - which means he doesn't have any empathy with what he does. If he wants to do something he will do it and happily do it for hours - if he doesn't he gets bored in seconds and starts kicking off if he doesn't get his way. I am not saying it is ADHD but what i will say is make an appointment straight away with your GP to see if he has any problem with his health - Its better to be safe than sorry

Answer 8

I agree with the others on this. Have same probs with my girlie who became 9 (thinks she's 15!) last week. Boredom at school and boundary testing are definite issues here, we have conflict between me and her but not her dad or her older step brothers. She pushes me to the limits constantly, to try and assert her authority! She tells me she is bored and even though she is in the top half dozen or so in class tells me that she's thick - the evidence from her work, her teacher and her peers state otherwise. She now does loads of after school activities drama, piano lessons,brownies etc to try and chanel her energies and it seems to help. Ask the teacher if you think bullying is an issue- it's an avenue i explored but thankfully she wasn't being bullied (or bullying anyone) I can only suggest trying different ways to stimulate him.Good luck from one frustrated parent to another.

Answer 9

I can only agree with the people on here who have already said - his IQ is ahead of his mind. Being intelligent isn't all that it's cracked up to be! Please don't chastise him physically. He's a bit too old for the naughty chair etc route. He'll outwit you on that one every time! All I can suggest is to try, when he's gone to bed at his normal bedtime, sit beside him and talk quietly. Don't ask him what's causing his bad behaviour but ask him how he feels about whatever is happening around him. Try phrasing questions as "how does it make you feel when......" not as "why do you get angry when........." or what upsets you about?........ try to put questions in a way that he can't answer Yes No or Dunno put it in a way that he has to give a specific answer that can be built on.

Answer 10

When my son acted out I would pull out the note book and make him write "I will learn how to act" on every line then back side I would make him sit there until I felt he could get up, page after page after page. Or take away his fun games (playstation). The things he loves to do when he asks you say Oh no I dont think so you cannot even act right in school so you couldn't possible want to go to a movie, play a game, go out side. Dont do it for one day you carry it out for the week or how ever long you feel the punishment needs to be. But if he is doing things in school its possible the teacher needs to challenge him academically.