married & separate households?

Question

I am getting married on October, but I am considering a really good job in DC. I have a PR background, and there is way more opportunity for me there, instead of Richmond, where I am currently. On the same token, my fiancee is in the process of opening up his own business 2 hours south of Richmond, so eventually, the two of us would eventually settle down there anyway. We talked about the possibility of me going to DC, and we both agreed not to postpone the wedding. Everything's planned and we both really want to be married. So basically, after the wedding, we'd go on our honeymoon then go back to our separate places. Of course we'll miss eachother, but we both have all the trust in the world and know it will work. One weekend we'll be at our place in DC, then another we will be in Richmond. Then, in a year or two, we will finally settle in one area together and start a family.

I just wanted to get your opinion. It sounds good, but do you think it will work?

We currently live together, and have for 6 months now

Answer 1

It'll probably work, but boy are you guys starting off rough, because driving on the east coast in the winter for a two hour stretch can be pretty hazardous. If you can handle it though, then go for it. I think though it'll be like your still dating with the perk of insurance with the weekend jonts. A wife dating her husband lmao.

Answer 2

Actually, this isn't as unusual a situation as you might think. There are a number of couples married but living apart for long periods because of work concerns. I don't have any specific titles or issues, but I know I've seen that there were articles on just this subject in quite a few publications. I would imagine a quick Google search would turn up at least a couple that could help you identify the issues involved and figure out whether this is a good idea for you as a couple or not.

I think it's got both advantages and drawbacks, but which will outweigh the other? You and he are the only ones who can answer that question.

Answer 3

Honestly, I think the job and the marriage each need a year to solidify before you are doing both at the same time. Either work your job for 1 year, then marry....or marry and wait a year to get a job somewhere away from your hubby. A new job, new life, new home...all at the same time...it is too much stress all at once.

I am NOT saying give up on marriage, or give up on a career. I just don't think it is a good idea to spend your one "honeymoon" year separated. That first year together should be the closest, most intimate year you have....after that, the long distance thing would not be as much of a problem in my opinion.

Either way, good luck hon! I wish you happiness.

Answer 4

I think it will work as long as both of you are willing to make it work. Many couples are apart due to work reasons. Some work shift and work away from the homes for extended periods of time. My sisters hubby gets called offshore at a moments notice and there is no telling when he'll be back sometimes. It works for them though, and they don't have kids yet, so that may make it a little easier. They have been married about a year, and I think it is starting to get old, but mostly b/c of the uncertainty of for when and how long rather then just being apart. Our babysitters hubby is gone all week and home some weekends, works for them, she actually prefers that to when he's home extended periods of time!! Some people may give you grief, but just b/c it wouldn't work for them doesn't mean it won't work for you.

Answer 5

Actually I had this happen to me recently. After my honeymoon, my husband went to live in our apartment and I went to live at my parents in another state.This happened because of my job and it was kinda hard for awhile. When you first get married,you really need a breaking in period if you were not living together before. This is the time when you get accustomed to one another and to living in the same place with each other. We really did not get much of this as we saw each other only on the weekends. Eventually,I had to move to where he was. It was just not working for us.

Being apart sonew intoyour marriagemight work for awhile but something will have to give; somebody will have to move.

Congratulations and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

My mom's good friend is in a similar situation. Her husband lives on the east coast for a great job and she lives on the west coast because she owns her own business. They travel back and forth each month to see each other. It's worked for them for five years! Their kids are grown and not living at home so there's no problem there. I also have a friend who, right after getting married, took a job in Japan for 6 months while her husband was still in Canada. It can work if you want it to!

Answer 7

It can work. My friend Bonnie got married and 2 weeks later left to live in Virginia to go to school for her Master's while her husband stayed in NJ. They have a house in NJ and an apartment in VA. She says she gets lonely but that it makes seeing her husband even more exciting. And, like you, they will soon enough be together, she's only got 2 years left to go!

Good luck!

Answer 8

Sounds good, it might be tough, you can always give it a try and see what happens. If it doesn't work one of you will have to move, it is hard having a long distant relationship let alone a marriage good luck to you both.

Answer 9

It will be hard on the two of you, but if you're as dedicated to each other as you make it seem, then I think that things will work out just fine. Just be sure that the both of you are ready for that period of lond-distance.

Answer 10

Just know that the first year and a half of marriage is usually the hardest, so take that into consideration. It WILL be hard, but if you can be strong and keep your trust and it and WILL work.