is it normal my b/f hasn't written from fort benning basic?

Question

is it normal that my boyfriend sent me 4 letters within the first month of basic training at fort benning, but then hasn't written me for 2 weeks but has written to his parents? the last letter said he wanted to be more serious about me, and i wrote him back a long letter about how i love him, but i haven't received anything back? maybe he doesn't want to be with me anymore? why would he have time to write home, but not to write me a really short letter saying he can't write much but he loves me? its driving me crazy waiting everyday for a letter, and not receiving anything. The only thing i can think is he doesn't really care anymore? i waited and finally wrote another one a few days ago which he should have received probably yesterday that just said i hadn't heard from him and i love him, etc. i'm at the point where i just feel bad because if someone loves you, why would they write home but not to you when they say they want a future with you?

Answer 1

be patient.... these boys are getting their butts worked off...it is uncle SAM and they want nothing but the best out of your boy friend...he loves you, just wait for him...sometimes they are in the field for weeks and are hungry and sleep deprived...they need this training....keep writing him and sending him your love and pictures....he needs this out of you. just remember when he joined you did too. you are one of the soldiers we do not hear about......just like my daughter, her hubby is in Iraq and you have to be strong for them....they are counting on you to be there when they come home...don't break his heart. he will contact you when he can. be strong, it is one of the toughest things to do...being a military spouse...

Answer 2

OMG! My boyfriend is at Fort Benning right now too. Anyways, there could be a couple of reasons why you havent gotten a letter. It could have been lost in the mail, it happens. Depending on where you live, it could take a while to receive a letter. From Benning to Indianapolis, IN, it takes about 4 days including the day he sends it. Also, they are very busy during basic and when they do have free time, they more than likely sleep. They do alot of both mental and physical work and need as much sleep as they can get. Also, he might just be trying to figure out how he wants to go further in the relationship and doesnt know what to right, its not a bad thing. He might only write his parents more than you because they are his parents. They might need to know whats going and he could be sending them information about his graduation, AIT, or other important info. Just wait a couple more days and if you don't get a letter, then write him back asking whats wrong and why hasnt he responded. You'll get one if he is truly serious about making the relationship stronger and more serious.
Good Luck

Answer 3

My husband got to fort Benning on October 27th, he went down range on November 4th and I got my first letter November 12th.. I don't think you should be worried just give him some time to get settled and I'm sure the letters will start coming. I get about 4 letters a week now.

Answer 4

Don't freak out. depending on the Phase ( red white or blue) they have alot of training and also if at the near close end of training they have alot of thing s that they go threw. Don't be selfish and think it's just you going threw all this. Think of what he is going threw-alll the blood sweat and tears.Right now he has a drill sergent yelling in his face telling him that "jody" is messing around with his girl and that he's going to be getting a dear john letter. My husband didn't get half of my letters until maybe a week before he left for his ait! about fourteen of them were given to him on one day ( that was in fort knox). Also with calling don't be expecting many until his ait training. It's Hard yes but you have to be strong and just keep writing him letters and hope and payer that he is getting them . I stopped getting letters at about 5 weeks before family day . I just wrote and wrote to my hubby. A life of an army wife / girlf friend ( while in training or oversea's ) is a hard one wondering the statics of the failure of marriages and relationships just check it out it's really bad. and thats the first thing that they tell them . Who has a girl friend - or wife? the ppl whom raise there hands they just say good luck.Sorry to like "break they bubble" but yeah you may be in pain but just try and write him letters , it will hopefully be alot better soon!

Answer 5

My son was at Ft. Benning for boot camp. I wrote him everyday and he loved receiving the letters. The guys talk alot about home. Send pictures too. Try to write as much as possible, send cards he will really appreciate it.

Answer 6

sweetheart...take a breath and relax. keep writing him..dont give up. but dont push not getting letters from him on him. I know when my husband was at basic and he wrote me every few days..and then just sTOPPED...it was because he had been so busy. they dont tell them..."alright boys..now go up to your room and write your hunnys..thent urn out your light when your ready...night night"...o no. thats not how it works at all. All the letters my husband wrote to me were written by flashlight underneath his blankets trying not to get caught with a light. they are very strict on rules there and they keep them busy. therefore when they do have downtime..they sleep because hell, they need it! and dont feel bad that he is writing his parents and not you. yes..you may be his girlfriend and im sure he loves you..but his parents are still different.t hey are still his parents!!!
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So like i said..take a deep breath. im sure he still loves you and wants a relationship with you. hes just very busy. Keep on encouraging him and letting him know that your proud of him and your there for him through it all. It will help him keep his spirts up in the end! promise!!!

Answer 7

Its ok honey, just remember they only have a very short amount of time, once a week to read and write letters. When my husband was in bootcamp, it was five minutes on Sunday for mail, thats it. So don't worry, I'm sure you'll get another letter soon.

Answer 8

Calm down he is in boot camp homegirl. He doesnt have time to sit around and write letters. Be happy he wrote you when he has. This guy is busy busy busy he cant just say " hey i need to take a break and write a letter to my girl"

Answer 9

You're going to have to buck up if you're going to be a military girlfriend, it's going to get a lot more stressful. Maybe someone is breathing down his neck when he write letters and gives him a real hard time for writing you. Who knows. Chill out.

Answer 10

basic training is not a vacation camp!! he is verry busy focusing on his training and geting through the toughest time of his life dont take it personal if he doesnt write you back all the time it takes about a week for postage to circulate anyways and if your freaking out like this then its proof that you cant handle what he is doing right now either.


if you want to continue to be with him you need to toughen it up basic training is the easy part i havent seen my husband for a year and i only talk to him once a week on the phone. and i wake up every day wondering if he is still alive.you need to understand that thats his job and its important you need to learn that the world doesnt revolve around you and be patient give him time and space to do what he needs to do.

Answer 11

I attended advanced infantry training at Fort Benning. Basic training and AIT school are very physically, emotionally and psychologically draining. One has to stay focused. Cadre generally reinforces writing to parents but are not so committed to non spouses. Your guy is in it up to his chin. Stay calm, it’s not like there is a lot of competition for your affection out in the field. At least I hope not.