Would you let your child skip a grade.?

Question

My son just went through a series of test and they want him to skip 3rd grade and go directly to 4th.

I don't see much of a social challenge. It's not like he's skipping straight to middle school.

His teacher says he gets very bored with the work and often finishes before everyone else, then he starts interfering with other people because he's just sitting there.

But won't he miss some very valuable information in the 3rd grade? How can they expect him to do 4th grade work, w/o having been through 3rd grade?

What's your thoughts?

Answer 1

Nowadays, they do the exact same stuff from 3rd until 5th grade. Progress is painfully slow.
In those three years all they do is practice the same stuff. And add long division into the mix.
If your son knows how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide he'll be fine.
And important social bonds don't really appear until middle or high school. Trust me, he's not gonna miss much. I he can read fast, do the 4 basic ops, and if you teach him a little bit about fractions and decimals he'll be fine, well actually he'll probably excel.


And no he's NOT going to stick out like a sore thumb.
I know for sure skipping one grade does no social damage especially if it is early on. My little sister skipped first grade and is one of the "popular kids" right now. She's a third grader come fall. There's not much of a difference between 8 and 9 year olds your son will do fine.

Answer 2

One of my nephews has always been in trouble at school because he is disruptive. After years of getting into strife, he had a new teacher who did not know him. The teacher immediately saw that he was bored and concentrated a bit of effort on him. He came first in that class (this is high school), and not just first but by miles! The teacher advised he skip a grade and get with senior kids who were learning more advanced things, as this would challenge him. The school, however, did not have the facility to allow him to do that in one class and not others. My sister followed their advice and as a result her son is now planning to leave school early because he hates it so much, is constantly bored, keeps getting into trouble, etc.

For the year he had the new teacher, he improved in his behaviour and his other grades also improved.

If the school is supportive and recommending that your son go ahead, they must consider that he is smart enough to 'pick up' the information he needs. Not everyone learns in a linear way, collecting incrteasingly complex information as they go ahead. Some people learn by doing more complex stuff, and going back and filling in the details leter. Your son could be a person like that.

I would say, give him a chance, but monitor it and talk to him about it regularly, If he experiences an over amount of stress or feels 'left behind', you could re-assess at that point. Find out from the school if he can 'go back' if things don't work out.

Good luck to you both :-)

Answer 3

I am a teacher, and I know that it is uncommon for teachers to recommend a child skip a grade...I'm sure that he is intelligent and would do fine, but you must think of the other factors...

1)Have you talked to him about it? How does he feel? Involve your son in this decision...please!!
2)Does he have behavior problems due to being bored in class? I think you mentioned that, but I would question the teacher on this...S/he should be providing extra practice and various activities to keep him involved. If he finishes work before the other children, he should be allowed to work on skills on the computer or something else that would benefit him. I don't understand why the teacher would allow him to just sit there and then interfere with other children...Maybe the teacher is not making the effort to support your child.
3)Do you think it would hurt him to possibly lose friendships he's had since kindergarten (if he has always attended the same school)? If the answer is yes, I wouldn't have him skip a grade...Social aspects, including friendships, are sooooo important at this age...Think about it, he'll be in a class will all new children and have to make friends all over like he's starting fresh at a new school. Is he very social and friendly? If so, maybe he would do okay.

If I had children, I most likely would not want them to skip a grade...In the long run, what is the benefit? They merely graduate one year early which can leave them in an awkward situation...Should they start college early? Are they ready to be an adult at 17? Think about the implications down the road.

I was able to graduate early from high school, but instead of starting college, I took an internship at an elementary school (arranged by my high school) and worked instead of beginning college...I needed that time and wasn't ready to attend college before my friends. I didn't want to miss out on my high school experiences...I wanted to be a kid for as long as possible. Others are not like me...

You should pray about this, and trust your instincts...Even if that means disagreeing with the school...Trust that you know your child best!!

Best wishes!!

Answer 4

Before I make a hasty decision I would talk to the principal or teachers to see if there is some stuf fhe can do in the summer to prepare him for 4th grade so he won't be far behind the rest of the students. Juse make sure the teachers will know and watch out for him because there will be an adjustment to new learning level.

I would let my kid do it because I know of kids who weren't allowed to skip ahead and they generally just became problem students. Their grades went down and they stopped paying attention because it was easy and bored them. He needs to be stimulated and challenged in order to learn well and stay out of trouble.

And extreme example of this is one of my friend's brothers was extremely bright, but never skipped a grade even when he should have. As a result he got bored with school, became a problem student and just barely managed to graduate even though his IQ would have gotten him into MENSA. Finally after getting married and holding blue collar jobs and having 4 kids, he decided he wanted to go to college to advance his career. Well now he is surrounded by all these intelligent people who stimulate and challenge him mentally that he doesn't want to leave. So as a result he is now a "proffesional student" and only works a bit in the summers. His wife meanwhile works 2 jobs just to try and keep the family afloat. Their family has become completely dysfunctional and is hurting the kids.
Thats an extreme example.

Skipping a grade isn't that big a deal. As I said, talk to the principal and teachers about how they prepare the kid or what you can do to prepare him. Also try to talk to the school counselor about what kids who skip grade levels go through so you have a better idea of what you will experience as a mom and how you can support your child. From what I have seen the social life doesn't change much and they actually mature faster because they are hanging out with older kids. It is only one grade level, so don't worry, he won't miss out on his childhood.
Good luck and congrats on having such a bright child!

Answer 5

I have a daughter in the same situation but in first grade going into second. Her teacher gave her a writing and a math workbook to work with over the summer. She finished both in the first week off of school. I am going to talk to the school pyschologist and see if she thinks that she is mature enough to be with third graders. Although I don't want to hold her back, or allow her to distract others, as an elementary teacher, I feel it is the teachers job to provide individual or enrichment instruction when in need. Not all of the children in the class are always at the same level - this is what makes a "good" teacher.

Answer 6

I'd keep him in his own Grade. As a 40-something who was put in the class ahead of where I should have been, I was always the smallest, youngest and physically slowest in the class. Definately emotionally the youngest too. And I don't think I grasped concepts as quickly as some of the other kids.
Granted I started school because mmom was ready to get teh last kid out of the hose and I wasn't competivie by nature, so I think I would have fared better inthe grade behind me instead of alwasy struggling to "catch up"
Emotionally your son is a 3rd grader and that is where his friends are. School is more than academics and he needs to be with kids his own age and size.
Could he keep a book or activity in his desk to keep him occupied while he is waiting for the rest of the class. Maybe he could even help the teacher clean around the class room or put away supplies. Good luck!

Answer 7

I agree with letting him do some 3rd grade work and if he is ok with that then I dont see the problem. Have you talked to the child about it? I also agree that if he becomes so bored he may lose focus because he may begin to feel like school is a joke- something he can just fly through like it's nothing. Talk throughly with the school but in the end I think if he can handle the work and the age difference (which I know isn't much) then go for it! Congrats on his progress!

Answer 8

My brother just went through third grade and I know that the curriculum involves multiplication and beginning division. This is crucial info. He wouldn't be able to get the math.

If he goes into summer tutoring and learns this all b4 hand he should be fine. Ask the school if you can try this out and if he's having trouble at the end of the summer if he could please go into third and learn it. History, ELA(English),science are different and don't accumulate over the years so he just starts off as if he was learning in a different grade.

Math is the big area of concern.

*Make sure your son actually wants to do the skip.*

Answer 9

I had very simalar issues as a child. The teachers would get so frustrated with me. They first put me in honors programs (started in Kindergarten with the first graders), but then they still wanted me to skip. My parents finally allowed me to do so. Then a few years later they wanted me to skip again. Now, I'm two grades ahead of everyone else. It's great learning wise and everyone knows you're smart, plus you're challenged. But there are a few downfalls, some being you'll get called "nerd" and sometimes be made fun of. In tenth grade, you don't get to take Driver's Ed with everyone else, and you're always the 'late' one, whether it be with puberty or anything. But other than that, it's great. I'm happy my parents let me skip two grades. It's really fun, in my opinion. I'd reccomend it, I know it's kind of a weird thought, and it can be kinda scary to start out with, but you realize that you're just with kids. They don't change much between grades, except you often go through bullying faster and get out of it sooner. That's nice.

You should talk to your son about it, ask him if he wants to. He may have to leave his friends, which he may not like, but he may not care much if he doesn't have many. I'd say this is a great oppertunity to have and I'd grab a hold of it.

Answer 10

i would... the teachers wouldnt suggest it if they thought he couldnt handle... obviously if he's bored with his work and finishes first he understands the third grade material and would be ready for fourth grade material...he also wouldnt have passed the tests that would allow him to pass if he wasnt ready...

its truly a blessing because youre son is very talented and smart when it comes to school and has opened up an opportunity not every child recieves --

if it was my child i would let him ...because when i was younger i had the same problem but i was never given tests to see if i should skip a grade or take advanced classes until i was in middle school and then again in high school and even college which i did and helped everytime...

maybe you should talk to your husband and see what he says good luck!!