My fiance is a little aggressive he has never hit me but he sometimes aggressively persuades things what to do

Question

We recently had to go to court for domestic violence what do you call violence because he has never hit me

Answer 1

you're in an emotionally abusive realtionship. You need counseling. Please get help

Answer 2

What you call "aggressive persuasion" is clearly his efforts to control you, which is a form of abuse.

Did he push you? That's domestic violence.

Did he throw something at you, or around the house? That's domestic violence.

Did he punch the wall or the door? That's domestic violence.

If you are around him while he's being violent with anyone or anything, you're in danger. It's not okay for you to stay with someone who would put you in danger.

A true man would want to protect you from danger, and any people who would act this way toward you.

Answer 3

Domestic violence covers many areas. If you are in a situation where your partner is controlling your choices in an agressive manner, then this may fall under the term "Domestic Violence" depending on what else may have occurred. My heart goes out to you. I was in the same situation. I married somebody who was controlling but did not hit me...UNTIL WE GOT MARRIED. Then all hell broke loose. Don't be fooled! He is waiting until he has you where he wants you mentall and psychologically, then he will get physical with you. He will want to control everything about your and his life with you. Please get out! Don't forgive and believe it will be better tomorrow. I did this and HAD to get out in the third year with my husband. He only got progressively worse with me. Save yourself before you get in too deep. Your family, law enforcement, etc. can help you if you feel trapped in this situation. Do whatever it takes to get yourself removed from this. I wish you luck and will pray for your safety and well-being.

Answer 4

I was engaged to someone who sounded just like that. I still have the scar on my arm from where my diamond on my ring was embedded in my skin. Not to mention the emotional scars. Many nights I thought I was going to die. But when I finally got the nerve to leave I never looked backed. A guy I worked with was waiting for me to finally leave him. So the day after I moved out, the guy from work took me out. That was almost five years ago. He's the best man God has ever put in my life. We have a daughter together & have been engaged for awhile. He has seen me cry and get angry when I talk about what I went through. And he has NEVER once raised his hand to me. The last I heard the guy that made my life hell was engaged to someone else, but before they got married, she left him for another woman. Talk about bad karma. FYI: anytime you have to go to court for domestic abuse, it's definately time to get out. Good Luck.

Answer 5

In all relationships, you have the right to set limits,
feel safe and get support. Healthy couples may
“fight,” but they “fight fair.”
Healthy relationships are non-threatening,
supportive and involve shared responsibility.
That means . . .
Touching, kissing, hugging and sexual activity
require permission.
Every person has the right to say “no” and to
change his or her mind.
Permission is not gained through coaxing,
pressuring, force or harassment.
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If you have been a victim of sexual violence, stalking
or relationship violence, help is available:
National Domestic Violence Abuse Hotline:
1(800) 799-SAFE (7233); TTY 1(800) 787-3224
SAHELI: 703-8745 support for Asian women in
abusive relationships
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Accept responsibility for your own part of a
problem.
Admit when you are wrong.
Do not resort to verbal, physical or emotional
abuse.
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Be aware of you and your partner’s needs and
communicate them to one another. Realize that
your partner will not be able to meet all your needs.
Be willing to negotiate and compromise.
Do not demand that a partner change to meet all
your expectations.
Try to see things from the other’s point of view.
Where critical differences do exist, try to work
honestly and sincerely to negotiate. Seek professional
“coaching” early before the situation
becomes critical.
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Answer 6

I was with a guy for four years who was abusive towards me. No, not physically, but very emotionally. He broke me down completely and I had very little self-esteem for a long time after I finally broke up with him. It doesn't have to be physical to ruin your life - if even temporarily.

If you've gone to court over this situation, get out. Why would you want to be with someone like that? You deserve better and you will find better! Just have some faith in yourself.

Answer 7

Re think the marriage. If he is like this now it will only get worse. You have already been to court so there is a history.
Don't think it will never happen to you. This is not a man who would make a good husband. By asking this question I see you know that something is not right.
Good Luck

Answer 8

Domestic violence never starts with fists; it begins with emotional manipulation and escalates over time.

Does he try to keep you from family and friends?

Does he make unreasonable demands? (you must show him your personal email/specific domestic tasks must be done in extremely particular ways/you are not 'allowed' to do things you enjoy, etc.)

Has he threatened you with violence if you don't comply with his demands?

Does he forbid you things he allows himself? (outings with friends/spending money on fun things/dessert, etc.)

Does he speak to you with disrespect? (calls you stupid or fat or lazy, uses belittling names for you, makes fun of any suggestion or idea you bring up, tells you you don't know your own mind, sneers at your beliefs, humiliates you publicly or privately)

If you answered yes to ANY of these questions, you're already in an abusive relationship and he's the abuser.

A good friend of mine lived under the shadow of domestic abuse for years. By the time she got out, she was forced to sneak out in the middle of the night taking her children with her and move across the country, cutting off contact with her family and friends. Her back is badly scarred, she has neurological damage, and her children have been in therapy since they were barely more than toddlers.

Her situation didn't start with fists, either.

Don't let her story be yours. Get away from him NOW!

Answer 9

Someone who is aggressive with or towards you should not be someone you'd be considering marrying - if you've already experienced this with him, what makes you think he will change or not get worse with time?
Love yourself enough to know you deserve to be treated better and get out of this abusive relationship before you really truly get hurt
Good luck to you!

Answer 10

Whatever you call it ,it sounds like trouble ahead! I would dump him as soon as possible. There are so many nice guys out there. If he is aggressive now ,I'm sure it will only accelerate after marriage.

Answer 11

That is violent!!!!! If you love yourself, then you will get the heck out of there and don't look back!!!!! But for some reason, it seems to me that you think this is ok since he has never "physically" been abusive, but abuse comes is so many different forms, and this is one of them!