Is it e okay that my 8 year old son talks to himself? He's been doing it since he was about 4? Is this normal?

Question

He used to have imaginary friends when he was smaller too. If I am in another room I hear him talking and its like he's got someone else in there and he's talking to them. He has been tested and denied at having ad/hd. His teacher say he gets bored easily and think that he acts like the class clowwn becasue the work is not challenging him enough mentally. He doesn't have any mental problems but I'd like to know why he does this and does anyone else's kid do this? Will he grow out of that at one point? Should I get a second opinion?

Answer 1

I think it's perfectly fine. It shows that he has a good imagination. My BF's son is 7 and he talks to himself all of the time! The 'imaginary friends' were fine as well when he was smaller (my little brother had an entire imaginary zoo when he was 4 or 5!) and is a perfectly fine teenager now.

What I think is the most important is what he's talking about. All of my BF's kid's talking was starting to worry us (we thought he may be seeing or hearing things), so we decided to spy (at the age of 8, I think spying is perfectly OK). After listening on our own (as well as using a tape recorder), we figured out that he's just using his imagination. When we ask him about what he's doing when he's taking to himself, he's very open to what he is playing/pretending. We would have worried more if he would have tried to be secretive about it.

Is he normally a social kind of kid? I would be a bit worried if he is acting anti-social around other kids/adults. Then, I would get a second opinion. But if he does it to occupy himself, don't worry, I do believe he will grow out of it!

Not trying to scare you with this next info, but this situation reminds me of myself a tiny bit. I was falsely diagnosed ADHD when I was a kid. My mother refused the diagnoses because I had good grades. I remember her saying, "You just get BORED!" (I acted out in class quite a bit!). At 17, I was diagnosed Bipolar. I don't remember if I talked to myself a lot, but I did have quite an imagination! However, you didn't say anything about him having anger or tantrum issues, so I doubt he is bipolar. If you want to do some research, however, go for it. Here's a start: http://www.bipolarhome.org/children.html. Many kids are misdiagnosed ADHD and are really bipolar (as well as many kids who are checked for ADHD but don't get the diagnosis).

Going from what you said in the question, I think your son is fine; he's just got a good imagination. Yet, carefully listen to him when he's talking to himself to make sure he's not saying things that are completely abnormal (hurting himself/others, etc.). You can e-mail me (on my Answers page) if you have any questions.

Answer 2

Lots of kids, and many adults, do that. It is a good way of sorting out your thoughts when you're a kid (or an adult), kind of like narrating your own life movie. It's only a mental problem when you think someone is answering you when you're talking to yourself. Leave him alone, he'll probably outgrow it. Or at the very least, some kid will catch him doing it and tease him someday and he'll quit it. Totally not a cause for concern.

Answer 3

He'll grow out of it when he gets older. Kids are kids. When I was around his age I always used to do weird things similar to that. As usual, my parents just let me be and yes, I grew out of it. Once you turn a certain age, (for me it was 10) I grew out of those things that I did as a little kid and started to really adapt to my environment around me. At my present age I actually still talk to myself and I guarantee you a lot of other people do. It kind of helps you make a decision and sort out through things. So I wouldn't worry about it too much. He'll grow out of it when he matures.

Answer 4

I talk to myself all the time - I call it thinking out loud. That is absolutely normal. And my 7 year old does it quite a bit as well, that's her way of playing - one of the ways anyway. Or if you believe in the supernatural, he could actually be talking to someone - just someone that you cannot see - if you believe in that kind of stuff anyway.

Have you thought of asking him who he is talking to or why he does it?

Answer 5

I've been talking to myself since I can remember, my ex husband talks to himself our daughter talks to herself. My mother and father both talked to themselves. My ex mother in law talks to herself. There is nothing "wrong" with it. When someone comments on my talking to myself I tell them it's the most intelligent conversation I've had all day.

Answer 6

Talking to yourself can be a sign of high intelligence and an active imagination. Where do you imagine there is any harm in it?

Answer 7

no this is DEFINITELY normal its just like when you talk to yourdelf inside your head hes doing the same but just not inside of his head. kinda like thinking aloud.

Answer 8

maybe he should skip a grade if he's bored...it's no problem. he probably just has it as a habit, but don't try to avoid having him talk to himself. i do, too, actually...