Need ideas for a post bridal shower...please help.?

Question

I need ideas for a post bridal shower for a bride that eloped. Catch phrases for invites, and then we are going out for drinks afterwards!

Kristy...sorry you are such a negative witch, but be gone and go hate on life somewhere else, the nerve!

Answer 1

When my aunt eloped she didn't get a bridal shower afterward. She didn't tell anyone she was getting married and it broke her mother's heart that she felt the need to be so secretive and sneaky. No one like that deserves a party.

If you don't invited guests to the shower who were not invited to the wedding, who gets invited to a post-elopement shower? The same people who were invited to the wedding - no one. Exactly.

Answer 2

I agree with Cory that it might be a good idea not to call this a shower. I think that some of her friends and relatives might agree with the posters here who said that if you elope, you are not entitled to a shower.
If you just send invitations indicating that you are having a party in her honor, then a lot of people will call and ask you if they should bring a gift. At that point, you could say that gifts are optional.
Another option would be to have a shower where the gifts are more from the heart and represent less of a monetary investment than bridal shower gifts usually do.
When I got married, my mom's best friend had a recipe shower for me. The invitations said to bring a favorite recipe (the guest should be sure to put her name on the recipe card, I've been married for 37 years, and I still have these cards), an ingredient to make the recipe, and a utensil to make the recipe. That way, the people who don't think that she deserves a shower can just bring a gift on which they haven't spent a lot of money, and if someone wants, they can bring a gift which costs more. As the hostess, you could give her a box to put the recipe cards in. This was a very fun shower.
Good luck.

Answer 3

My line of thinking is leaning kind of both ways of the posters here. While I agree that since they eloped and chose not to share the big day with family and friends, that they shouldn't have a bridal shower per se. It's almost like a slap in the face that while I didn't want you to know what i was doing I want as many gifts as possible.

On the other hand having a reception after the fact is nothing new and is accepted in our society. I think she should just stick with having a reception, skip the shower and live with her decisions. Bridal showers are given pre-wedding since it is a planned event, not like baby showers that sometimes need to be held after the birth due to timing issues with the baby's arrival.

This wasn't intended to be nasty and I hope it didn't come off that way, but when you ask a question on here you should be prepared for the answers that are given, good, bad and ugly. Otherwise don't ask a question that controversial.

ADDED: Teresa, none of us have a problem with small weddings, destination weddings or even eloping. When weddings are planned ahead of time is when showers are held AHEAD of the wedding. A bridal shower is not something you can decide to have AFTER the fact.

Answer 4

IMO, a shower is a shower is a shower for the Bride. Whether it is before or after, I do not see anything wrong with several of the Bride s closest friends, and family members coming together for a little celebration to express their happy wishes for her, and too also include a gift. After all - the purpose of a shower originally was to do exactly that, and there is nothing wrong with doing it before or shortly after her wedding, and/or elopement. If you really think about it, back in the days, many couples eloped, and celebrated afterwards. People weren t that materialistic back in the days. In fact, there were no such things as bridal registries. Presents were given as gifts from the heart, and they were given at any given time, not just on a specific day such as during a bridal shower . I think the best way to do this would be to surprise the bride, whether it is before or after. Tell her that you d like to treat her out for brunch, or get together at her place, or your place for tea and just have everyone (closest friends & family) show up as a surprise, without even telling her. It ll be better than a surprise birthday party, and you ll have a better idea of items she might need.

Answer 5

Send out invitations for a girls night out/shower. If she did not register then I am sure her friends will know what she likes or get her a gift certificate to her favorite store. List the places you would like to go.

I think this is a great idea not everyone wants a big wedding and I think she would have got ton a gift anyway regardless of her not having a wedding so have a great time and good luck.

Answer 6

You are sweet person and generous friend. I respect you for wanting to show your friend the same kindness you would show a bride who rashly busted the bank, ran her credit credit cards up into oblivion, and put her parents in hock all to pay for a big wedding. I presume that your friend and her husband took a hard look at their finances, how socially comfortable/awkward they would feel at a wedding, and how they may have just wanted to avoid the stress of planning. Of course they have the same household needs as any other newlywed couple. Of course they would appreciate gestures of love and congratulations from their friends. That doesn't change just because they felt that a wedding and all the baggage that goes with it wasn't their cup of tea.

Sorry - I don't have much to offer by way of themes or catch phrases (I'm not great at event planning) but I wish you good luck and hope you have a fabulous shower for your friend.

Answer 7

Don't listen to those people...Just because they chose to get married in an unconventional way doesn't mean that they don't deserve to celebrate or get gifts! They ARE in love, officially married and who are we to judge! People are quick to respond with "Its your wedding do it your way" on here, but now criticize someone who did just that! Why not throw a BBQ with close friends and immediate family members- to avoid offending those that think they "don't deserve gifts"...make gifts optional and put something like "In honor of a daring duo who got married on a whim, we request the honor of your presence at a party for her and him." Sorry, for the cheesy poem- it's all I could think of in a pinch. lol Good luck!

ADDED: Ha! That's funny! I wonder which negative person gave me a "thumbs down" rating. People...what's the difference- if this couple decided to have a small destination wedding you'd be all for a shower or party! Maybe they didn't have the money to afford a huge wedding or didn't have the support of their families, but was so in love they took a chance and eloped! It's what romantic movies have been made of for years! I wish them the best of luck!!

Answer 8

Catch phrase for invites:

Mr and Mrs. Tacky and Crass would like to invite you to our fundraiser. We didn't care about sharing our special day with you, but we do care about gifts. Don't be confused, this is not a reception! Don't expect to be fed or entretained...we just want your gift! We are so greedy and rude that would not waste the oportunity to ask for gifts, even though we are already married.

Note: Just drop off the gift and then we will be out for drinks.... that's right! You will have to pay for that also!

Answer 9

Wow...did you honestly just call that girl a "negative witch"? I think almost everyone here would agree...making us all witches! I wanted to answer this question like a mature adult, but if you aren't going to ask it like one, then why waste my time?

I completely agree with the 2 answers above me.

Answer 10

Eloping = no bridal shower. Saying "you weren't important enough to see me get married, but I'll take cash and gifts" is in poor taste.