Gender dissapointment?

Question

Gender dissapointment?
Has anyone dealt w/ gender dissapointment? if so can you tell me your story and how you have dealt w/ it? Or have you been able to not be secretly sad that it wasn't what you had hoped for? Any advice?

Answer 1

We have 3 boys and are expecting another baby in September. My wife has tried to convince herself that she'd be fine with another boy, but she has admitted to me that she really, really wants a girl. (She's actually had nightmares about the subject.) So she's dealing with that now and feeling really guilty about it. I'm trying to encourage her to let us find out the sex (which we usually don't do) at our next ultrasound so it can either ease her mine (if we're having a girl) or give her time to make peace with having another boy.

After our 3rd son was born, a lot of people would say "I'm sorry" and other things like that when they found out that we didn't have a girl, which really bothered both my wife and I. We thought it was rude. We were so happy to have another healthy baby that we didn't care if it was a boy or a girl.

Answer 2

Gender disappointment is VERY normal, and much more common than you think! Look online; there are many articles about it and I was surprised at the frequency of people (especially moms) who experience this. Don't feel guilty! You're obviously taking steps to get over it, and that's the healthy thing to do. Shame on anyone who judges you for it.

We all have to remember that in the end, God knows exactly what he's doing and the baby you have is precisely the baby you're supposed to have. However, that doesn't mean that you can't be allowed to adjust to the idea, and that it might not be hard at first.

My dad never had any sons. My mother-in-law never had any daughters. I think more people secretly go through this than you realize. It's just not socially acceptabe to say, "Well, I was really hoping for a ___, but I know I'm going to come to terms with it very soon."

Answer 3

Im a firm believer that you shouldnt have children if you arent open to BOTH genders. After all you can really pick so you have a 50/50 chance of getting the opposite.


WIth that being said I really wanted another girl for my second child so my daughter could have a sister but I got over that quickly when I found out I was having a boy. I left my ultrasound and started crying because I was SO happy I was going to have a son! I was so set on the two girls mindset that I didnt think much about a son. I love my son SO much and you couldnt pay me to change anything about my children. I think the universe knew what I needed even though I didnt know at the time. Im happy and I feel that my family is complete.

Answer 4

Well, I have 3 boys and always wanted each time to finally get a girl and I had to accept that I have boys and that God knows why!!!!! I love my boys and would never have not wanted them, but I still want a girl! I am pregnant again and still have hope, but I doubt it is a girl! I just had to accept boys rule in this house and really boys are fun and probably even easier, I do not know that for sure, but people say so! After this one, I quit trying, 4 will be enough and well, I just will be ready to see a wee wee at the 5 month ultra sound!!!! We all just have to accept the gender and be happy to have one and all healthy!!!!! Best wishes!

Answer 5

I was actually disappointed when I the ultra-sound showed my 3rd girl in a row. It was a bummer for a couple of days. I love my 3rd daughter very much and the disappointment left as soon as I saw her. She's a blessing and a wonderful teenaged sweetie pie now. My husband had a vasectomy when she was still in the womb but, we conceived again anyway. The vasectomy didn't work and we had a boy. So glad I have all my girls. When my son was born we almost didn't know what to do with a boy, we were so used to girls. Both are a blessing. The important thing is having a healthy baby. You will love either sex as soon as you hold that baby it all fades away.

Answer 6

You need to draw up the pros and cons of having each gender. Sounds clinical but it works.

When I fell pregnant with my 1st I thought how much I'd love to give my man a son, but if I had a girl then I hoped to have the same relationship with her than I did with my Mum.

I never got to find out as 11wks into the pregnancy I miscarried. Now I'd give anything to have it all back, regardless of gender.

Answer 7

I was the son my father never had - in that I'm the youngest of his 4 daughters. He wanted a namesake so badly my sister is named "Henry Ellen" she was supposed to be their last - but I surprised everyone.

Anyway, I grew up doing boy things - rode cattle, worked on cars, laughed loudly, never played with dolls. In fact, up until I went to school I thought I was a boy - then I went to school and found out that I was indeed a girl.

I rather like being a girl because I prefer to sleep with men - but knowing how to change a tire and not being afraid of creepy-crawlies has its advantages, too.

So, teach your sons how to cook and sew - and your daughters how to change a tire and bait their own hooks.

Answer 8

Well, I wnted 2 girls so I adopted 2 girls n called dem Katie n Amy. Dats my story aldo it dosnt answer ur question I wnted 2 tell it

Answer 9

This is generally due to some backwards or unhealthy thinking on part of the parent.

What do you want? A custom ordered child? That kid will eventually want to establish his/her own ideals and interests, and there is a good chance that they wont match yours! So get used it. Enjoy the honeymoon period with all the GOO GOO and GA GA... and then let it go.

It aint a play thing.. its an individual.
You dont choose that... it chooses you...

Answer 10

Why would someone be sad? As long as you have a healthy child, who cares?