Is there any way to . . ? Miltary wives and service members plz?

Question

Is there anyway to mentaly prepare yourself for the fact that your husband could not come home from a deployment. I am speaking about mentaly, not spiritually or financially

I ahve about 15 months until my husband is finished with his AIT and we have a 2 year old as well

I have about 15 months until my husband is finished with his AIT and we have a 2 year old as well

Answer 1

any soldiers wife generally has to be a strong and independent person you expect the worse and hope and pray for the best every day.

the best thing to do is what you are doing right now is knowing that he may be deployed but hoping and praying that he isn't going to have to be deployed. no matter what you do its still a huge shock to be told your husband is leaving to combat.

if he does leave its a good idea to get him a laptop computer with a net cam so you can see him every day its a lil cheaper than spending money on calling cards and you don't have to wait for that phone call. most FOB's(post) in iraq have Internet connections. try to keep your self busy to keep your mind of things and to keep the days from dragging buy get a hobby crafts or what not maybe a lil part time job if you can and find a Friend another woman that is within your unit or better your platoon so you have someone to talk to and go out with along with finding out information that you need. some participate in the FRG group (family group readiness) but i chose not to because I'm not a social person.

my husband is deployed right now i live one day at a time. the worst thing you can do is get ahead of your slef and assume that the worst is going to happen before it happens because you worry yourslef sick and it really hasnt happend yet. expect never assume the worst and prey and hope for the best everyday. i never want to think negatively about my situation. a situation is all on what you make of it. and i dont want to make it anymore worse than it already is.

Answer 2

Mentally you know it's a possiblity, you need to prepare on all fronts: mentally, spiritually and financially -- speak to your husband about what his wishes would be, write down songs, contact numbers, etc that you would want for the funeral. Who you would want for an escort for his body (usually the unit does this but sometimes you can choose), pallbearers, to do the service, etc. Make sure his will is up to date, know notification procedures and who is in his Chain of Command. Then if it happens you don't have to answer questions in the middle of everything. This is a good idea for every military wife because accidents happen - let's face it it's a dangerous job even if they aren't deployed!

Once that's done, then move on to now!Mark off everyday on the calendar, send him packages, keep yourself busy (not to hard with a 2yo!), join the FRG, Check out the ladies groups at your post - PWOC/MCCW (chapel),learn a new skill/language, etc and prepare for his homecoming.

Answer 3

There is no real way to prepare yourself, once you have been through a deployment you will then know how to deal with it yourself. Wives deal with it differently. Being a military wife you just have to learn to roll with the punches thats what we are all about rolling with it dealing with it the best we can and supporting our men 110 %. None of us are experts no matter how long you have been a military wife each person and situation is differ from the other. Its hard but you yourslef will learn how to deal and what works for you. Just know that we do know how you feel. Its helps alot to have a support system. We are the ones left behind, the silent ranks. There will be times that you think you are gonna loose your mind and times that you will be at ease. Just support him and try to stay busy. At night is when its the hardest. Write letters at night sharing your feelings not your fears. Or keep a journal/diary for yourself. As time goes by it get a bit easier. don't get me wrong its never just easy. But it gets easier to deal with.

Answer 4

You don't... you just go through all of the preparations that do you for every deployment...
Are the wills updated?
Do I know where are of the important papers are?
Do I have a key to the lock box?
Have we filled out our predeployment papers and put them in the fire box?
Are the emergency contacts up to date?
Do I have the most up to date Survivor benefits paperwork?
Does the key spouse have my contact info?
etc.......
Hubby and I go through this with EVERY deployment and TDY, regardless of where he is going. Once all of that is done, we sit back and enjoy our time together, and prepare to say "See you soon!".
In 19 years I have NEVER let the thought of him being killed stay on my mind more than mere seconds. There is no way I could survive if that was always in the back of my mind. I concentrate on the positive, pray a lot, and ask friends and family to keep him in prayers, thoughts, sending vibes, lighting candles, whatever they do!
Even as we get ready to send him TDY for 2 weeks, we are going through all of this. It's just how we both prepare. I feel better on this end, and he knows it's all set and lined up and doesn't have to worry on his end.
Remember, it's your job to keep the home fires burning and just KNOW that he'll come home. It's the only way to stay sane!

Answer 5

I don't think there are many wives that "prepare" for our husbands not to come home. We focus more on makeing sure we do everything we can to make sure they feel loved and supported while away. My husband has been on deployments (we have 6,4 and 3 year old) and the best way for me and my kids to make it through it is to keep busy and make lots of friends. Joining your FRG is a good way to gain support and keeping informed on what is going no with your husbands until while deployed. Don't think of the worst things that can happen, just worry abut keeping your child and yourself busy and make sure you send lots of letters and care boxes to your husband. Just think positive and don't get all worried about the worst, specialy around him.

Answer 6

There is no way to prepare for it. I met my husband while he was home on leave, and I dread the day he'll have to leave again, especially now that we have a daughter. It's a possibility you have to be prepared for, but not one you should base decisions on. Be supportive, spend as much time as possible with him before he goes, talk to you kids about him often when he does, send letter and care packages, lean on friends, family and other military families. Try not to let your kids see how hard it is on you, but let them know that it is hard, and it's okay to worry. Take it a day at a time, and God forbid something happens, take that too a day at a time.
"The only thing harder than being a soldier is loving one."

Answer 7

Mentaly has to do with spiritualy if you think about it. I really don't think so....just pray if you're a Christian or sing if your a Jew or whatever. Hold your friends close. Oh snap I sound like a fortune cookie!

Answer 8

just believe in your husband and his unit and unit commander i spent 20 mos at camp taji iraq and 8 mos in various places in afghanistan you should be able to talk to him on a regular basis

good luck to both of you tell him to come homesafe