I need ideas for punishing my sassy 3 1/2 year old daughter! Time outs don't work and I hate to spank. Help?

Answer 1

Marble jar. She gets to put a marble in her jar everytime she is respectful and take one out when she sasses. When it's full she gets a great reward. let her know from the beginning the rules and the reward she is working toward and remember kids need more posative reinforcement then just punishments for bad behavior. Also when she gets mouthy try hugging her and asking her what it is that's making her upset. if she feels safe she just might open up to you and you can teach her how to work out her frustrations without sassing you. Good luck

Answer 2

My daughter is now 7. My wife and I have always spanked. I hate doing it too but, You have to do it. I would rather spank her now, then watch her have no disciplines later in her life. You don't have to be cruel or abusive especially at that age. Big key point "YOU MUST FOLLOW THROUGH". If you tell her you will do something if she does something; do it. If you don't what you say will never mean anything because she will always assume they are just idle threats.
We went to the store and bought a plastic paddle ball set ( the kind with the ball attached by a band) and used it. Never hit more than once. When used LIGHTLY, it will produce a sound more than pain and it will get her attention which is what you want. After a few times all we needed to do was let her know that was an option and she would straighten right up. If we were going out some where like the grocery or dinner, my wife would remind her of how to act as she put the paddle in her purse in front of our daughter so she knew we had it with us. We very seldom had an issue.
The key is to establish who is in control with punishment being a last resort. Remember after any discipline to immediately hug your child, talk to them about why this happened in a soothing tone and praise them for being helpful because it can be a scary experience to them.
My daughter and I are very close I believe because I took the time to explain and told her I loved her always after. Also, let her role play sometimes like she is spanking you. It will build trust with your child and will make you feel better about it too.

Answer 3

it somewhat is often difficult. i in my view hated the belief of spanking too, yet on occasion this is all that works. I even have a three year previous lady besides, and that i attempted each little thing yet spanking together with her. It only did not paintings. Time outs might end together with her screaming and knocking over issues in her mattress room, breaking dvd's and only finished mayhem. status in the nook did not final the two. She'd only scream and cry, and that i wasn't going to make her stand there for 20 minutes because of the fact she'd only only forget why she became even there. Grounding from toys did not paintings, because of the fact my 3 year previous has an extremely energetic mind's eye. So, notwithstanding it broke my coronary heart, I spanked her. She cried for 20 seconds, I cried for an hour. yet! on the plus area, she's very, o.k. behaved now. All I would desire to do is commence counting to 3 and her approach differences speedy. in case you do get to 3, you're able to desire to enforce it nevertheless. as quickly as she is familiar with that's what is going to happen if she does not pay attention, the spankings will easily improve into quite uncommon, or perhaps time outs will start to paintings returned. Sorry this wasn't somewhat an answer you needed, notwithstanding this is only my very very own own suggestion. sturdy luck!

Answer 4

There is a difference between a spanking and a beating.... I belive in spanking, but if you don't, that's okay. I respect that. You know what? Spanking doesn't always work, either. My son is nearly nineteen months old and he sometimes laughs when I spank him. So the next best thing to do is take away something they love. That way they think, "Oh, well last time I was bad, they took away (fill in the blank)". Ps... when I say spank my son, I only mean a quick swat on his pampered bottom, a slap on the hand (which never works), or a swat in the mouth to stun him (which I only use when he bites).

Answer 5

I have the same problem with mygirl who just turned four. Timeout does not work for her either and I do not spank I usually take something away succh as the t.v. or something else she is doing at the present time. She usually comes and apologizes to me so she can have what ever I took away back and I make her tell me why I took it away from her in the first place. She has cut down in the back talking and being sassy now. She still does but not *** often.

Answer 6

Bringing Up Kids Without Tearing Them Down
is an excellent book for parenting. (No parenting book should ever be followed like an instruction manual or Bible, but there are several I have found helpful.)

In the meantime, here are some thoughts:
- Consistency is probably more important than what the consequences are. Because she is a child, no consequence can guarantee that she will never speak rudely again. But, if every single time she speaks rudely, she does not get what she wanted until she finds a way to ask appropriately, it will help. (You will need to actually give her some appropriate words for a while.) She will not only be learning to recognize the inappropriate language, she will be learning better ways to handle things.
- No matter how she talks or behaves, you respond calmly and appropriately She is learning from everything she hears - learning to sound that way. Also, by remaining calm you maintain responsibility for your own emotions and can hold her responsible for how she handles hers. If her sassing is her way of "pushing your buttons", then she will see it doesn't work.
- Another thing to consider is that children have to work harder to get their thoughts and feelings into language, and they get frustrated more quickly than adults, and have fewer skills to deal with that frustration. As adults, we need to help by listening to what they are feeling as well as their words. Also, sometimes it helps to look at a situation from the child's point of view, especially when we demand instant responses. It takes more time for the child to process and respond well than it does to talk back.
-Another positive way to deal with the problem might be to have a small card on which she gets a sticker every time she expresses herself appropriately.

Answer 7

I agree that you don't need to spank your children.

Stick with the time outs -- when she's getting out of control, she needs a little bit of reflective time to calm down and collect herself. But each time she earns a time-out, she also loses a toy or privilege for the rest of the day -- starting with her favorites. No exceptions, and saying "sorry" doesn't get it back. She needs to learn that apologizing after the fact isn't enough -- she needs to learn to get control of her behavior BEFORE it becomes a problem.

The most important thing for this is going to be CONSISTENCY. You can't cave, no matter how much she whines. And you have to keep taking another prvilege away for each and every offense. Yes, you're going to have days when half your closet is goingto be filled with her toys; but if you stick with it, she WILL learn.

And I would advise against giving your child rewards for proper behavior, as some folks have suggested. Good manners and proper behavior is her DUTY as a member of the family -- not some effort that's above and beyond the call, but the minimum expectation as a young lady.

Answer 8

Start a little backboard and put her name on it and point out to her when she is good she will receive a star or maybe you can think of something she likes and place it next to her name when she is good, tell her when she gets so many that she will be up for a treat or you will take her to her favorite place. I didn't like to spank either and I found that this worked for me for many years and now that they are all teenagers they know if they want something they have to earn it. I didn't let their good behavior go unnoticed because they always got attention when they were being bad and I wanted to make sure that I reminded myself that they needed attention when they were good too. Hope that helped.

Answer 9

Are you talking about what she is saying or her tone of voice. Either way I bet if you asked her if she knows what sassing is she will say no. Ask her to give an example. Otherwise just repeat the what is said to her and the tone. Explain what annoys you and follow through with punishment/let her know what happens when she does the action it will be followed by...
I do not believe that kids in diapers or without reasoning can decipher if I do this this will happen.

Answer 10

Never bribe a child. THen they expect a prize/reward everytime they do something "good." When I was cheeky my mom would tell me such ugly talk shouldn't come out of a pretty little girls mouth. My dads way was to be sassy right back to me-- which hurt my feelings quite a bit before I figured it out and was respectful! My grandma would give me a look and I knew I'd been cheeky then she'd march over to the sink and put soap on my tongue. She'd just put a dab on her finger and rub it on my tongue. VERY unpleasant. She'd say she was gonna wash that kinda talk right out of my head!