How many ex-Jehovah's Witnesses are out there, and what was the final straw that made you decide to leave?

Question

Have you been able to help a practicing JW see the light?

Colin can you provide a link?

Answer 1

I wrote this in response to another question and as it is so long I didn't retype it. I use to be a Jehovah's Wittness and this is my story:

From birth to the age of 17 I was a devout Christian. I read the entire Bible, and re-read many parts 100's if not 1000's of time.
I had an intricate knowledge of all the beliefs and teachings of my faith. As a child I was fully capable of having a religious debate with any adult.
I grew up isolated (home school for 10 years and for the most part had little or no association with any not sharing my faith) and had no knowledge of a life outside of my religion.
I was utterly brainwashed, in that I had had my life and mind flooded with only one way of life, one way of thinking, one set of beliefs. I was taught to dismiss anything outside of this religious lifestyle as wrong, evil and the work of the Devil...no explanation needed. Anything questioning my way of life was ignored or derided.
Then at 16, my family had to move, I went to a public school instead of learning at home. I met new people, did new things and saw different points of view.
I realised how false my life and beliefs were, and that the only reason I 'believed' was that I knew of nothing else. I felt like a small child who had been kept in a single room all their life, and told that nothing existed outside of that room, and then one day, they were led out into the world beyond those four walls.
Then I met someone...a wonderful man who accepted me for who I was and gave me unconditional love. The more I loved him, the more I realised that I had used my religion as a substitute for human love and warmth. I had blindly accepted the religion, because if I did not have that, if that was false, then I had NOTHING...nothing at all...no family, no 'friends', no future.
Without the need and yearning for the religion, I began to see through the deceptions and lies. I was disgusted at the falsehoods and hypocracy.
When I came to these realisations, I felt so betrayed and hurt by those who had co-erced me into this way of life, under the threat of rejection and the loss of their 'love'.
It still tears me apart that I wasted so many precious years in superstition, lies and fear. It was a 17 year long guilt trip. Three years on, I am slowly re-building my life, and seeing things for how they really are. Every day is a new day, and I can honestly say, I have never been happier.
I strive to be a good person, to do the right thing, to live peacefully and promote tolerance.
I wish only to live in peace and not be attacked for my way of life or beliefs.
***

To answer your added question - the only JW's I have spoken to since leaving are two family members and the subject of religion does not come up.
I know how they think, I really wouldn't bother arguing with them. Not only would it be a waste of time, but I just want to live in peace, I'm not interested in converting anyone...I did enough of that as a JW lol.
The only way to 'see the light' is to come to your senses gradually as I did...someone saying "You're wrong" only re-confirms your beliefs if you are a JW.

Regards

The Peaceful Atheist

Answer 2

When I realized that they are a cult, and I do not throw that word around arbitrarily.

Doubting JWs are not allowed to question the JW doctrine in any form or fashion because they will be instantly labeled an apostate and kicked out of the church, and exiled from their friends and family members who are still brainwashed. Those people and ex-JWs can find lots of support here at this forum:

www.jehovahs-witness.com

Also, I was a social worker, and in addition to having dealt with it myself, I have also helped others whose lives have been devestated by this cult. Anyone who needs any encouragement, empathy or simply a listening ear, feel free to email me.

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TO MISPLACEDMOTHER:

I say it is a cult. My source of authority is 18 years on the inside. Some people think that all religions are cults. I have no opinion on that matter because I have only been deeply entrenched in one, the JWs. I don’t compare the JWs to other religions. I compare them to my understanding of a cult, which has different meanings depending on whether you are defining it psychologically, sociologically, etc. Like I said, I have researched the matter, and I do NOT throw that word around arbitrarily.

I have since learned that if I want a personal relationship with God, I do not need man or religion as a middleman. I am not lost, or searching or disillusioned. I am a successful attorney with a beautiful family, something I never could have achieved as a JW, because they told me not to go to college. But most importantly, I am HAPPY, and that is the ultimate reward.

You are taught that when someone leaves the JWs, they are turning their back on God, and they are destined for despair. This is fallacy. The organization is bad, but the people are not. The organization lies to and misleads people, and those who disagree with them are alienated from friends and family still in, because the organization must preserve their mind control over them. The organization cannot tolerate any doubt or dissent. This is just one of the characteristics of a cult. There are many more.

The people are victims, just like I was, just like you are, and they actually believe that they are doing the right thing. I hope that one day you will see the light and reclaim your life. Peace to you.

Answer 3

To Esmeralda, who says the JWs are a cult. Am I missing something here? According to my Webster's Dictionary, 1981 edition, a cult is simply a formal religious veneration/worship, which would make the majority of religions such. I think that people use this word because it brings up a vision of some group like the Harri Christna's. (probably spelled wrong) Shame on you!

Many JWs that are brought up in the truth as part of a family may not have the proper heart condition. If you are a convert,
your are probably a person that has been searching for answers or disillusioned with the other religions. Remember Cain as opposed to Abel. I can't recall the verse but one of the apostle's was speaking of those that left the congregation as those that were not like them. So be it. It does not make the organization bad. If anyone is brain washed, it is the people of the world. Either way, you have your reward.

Answer 4

The number floating around is 13,000 leaving every day and that there are 10 million ex's. It's believable to me, though I want to throw the published numbers into Excel to do the math myself since I can't find a solid source.

The very final straw? It might have been when I was reading the history of how Rutherford took over the group from the committee that Russell had designated in his will.

But what led up to that was, chronologically, the abuse/victim scandal, the fallacies and inconsistencies in the blood policy, and the death-dealing differences between the "neutrality" dictates for Malawi vs. Mexico. All things I knew about in one way or another, but somehow the abuse issue had me looking more objectively. I think it was after I had made my decision that I found out about the problems with 1914 -- because of the problems with 607 BCE. That was an example of them overtly lying about something upon which the whole structure of their organization rests. Without 1914, there's no invisible return, no invisible heavenly resurrection, all those "events" that they linked to themselves, tied carefully to the 1914 chronology. Once you realize that's a lie, the whole house of cards crumbles.

There were all the contradictions with their own published stuff. Sometimes it was called new light. Other times, it was glossed over as if it had never happened. I had always been troubled by the frequent reversals in the status of the "men of Sodom." Sometimes they say they'll be resurrected. Sometimes they say they won't. They reverse it every few years... sometimes every few MONTHS! I checked and double checked every accusation I saw on the internet or read in books with my own copy of the Watchtower Library CD rom. With their own literature as evidence, as I said to myself aloud at the moment I made the decision, "I just had to quit."

Answer 5

Well I can't claim to be an ex JW but I have to admit that I extricated myself from a very respectable appearing cult after a few months of exploring there brain washing techniques much to their chagrin. All this simply to satisfy my curiosity. Very dangerous and I can't say I recommend it to any one. Interestingly, prior to this, I was ejected from another sect, that was put, by one newspaper, in the in the same box as the cult, for not, supposedly, sticking to the rules. That sect would equate with the JW. I remain an outsider but don't see myself as any less of a person for it and they continue to preach to the converted it would seem. I have succeeded in deflecting the JW from my door who can be very persistent.The cult I notice had it's guru up on sex charges with a ban on contact between the disciples and the leader.

Answer 6

ill admit it... i was an ex JW

I honestly dont remember what the final straw was..... but i have to tell you, leaving the organization is like lifting this huge boulder off my back. My family has never been closer than they are now. I dont regret for a second leaving that god awful place.

That plus the fact that i read somewhere how false the New World Translation is and how it was manipulated when it was translated so it would coincide with the JW's false doctrines.

The thing about that religion is that they have you in constant fear about sinning. You have to do this, and you can't do that, and if you don't do this, you wont gain eternal life. Hell I couldn't even go outside as a child and play with my schoolmates without being yelled at by my mother. And it wasn't because she didn't want me to. Its because according to the organization I shouldn't be hanging around with the "worldly people". Its a joke.

Answer 7

Some Jehovah's Witnesses become inactive because they feel unable to continue preaching or certain other Christian obligations for a few months or even years. These are not counted in any JW statistics, but they are considered "brothers" and "sisters" by active Witnesses. Their standing is entirely different from those who are disfellowshipped or disassociated.


Jehovah's Witnesses practice the Scriptural practice of disfellowshipping for unrepentance of such serious sins as fornication, drug abuse, stealing, and apostasy. Baptized Witnesses who join the military or publicly engage in worship with another religion are considered to have disassociated themselves from Jehovah's Witnesses.

Contrary to the misinformation of anti-Witnesses, it is quite possible to become inactive in the JW religion without becoming disfellowshipped. As long as one's lifestyle does not bring reproach upon the congregation, and as long as one does not advocate one's disagreements with the religion, the congregation has no interest in "investigating", exposing, and disfellowshipping an inactive former Jehovah's Witness.

For those who are disfellowshipped or disassociated, a primary goal is to shock the person into recognizing the serious of their wrong so that they rejoin the congregation in pure worship. Since the primary bonds that are broken involve friendship and spiritual fellowship, it is well understood that family bonds remain intact. Parents, siblings, and grown children of disfellowshipped and disassociated ones sometimes choose to limit what they may feel is discouraging or "bad association" but that is a personal decision and is not required by their religion.

Former Witnesses who are disfellowshipped or disassociated are typically treated in accord with the Scriptural pattern explained in these Scriptures:

(1 Corinthians 5:11-13) Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man. ...Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.

(Titus 3:10) As for a man that promotes a sect, reject him after a first and a second admonition

(Romans 16:17) Now I exhort you, brothers, to keep your eye on those who cause divisions and occasions for stumbling contrary to the teaching that you have learned, and avoid them.

(2 Thessalonians 3:6) Now we are giving you orders, brothers, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, to withdraw from every brother walking disorderly and not according to the tradition you received from us.

(2 Thessalonians 3:14) But if anyone is not obedient to our word through this letter, keep this one marked, stop associating with him, that he may become ashamed.

(2 John 10) If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, never receive him into your homes or say a greeting to him.

(Matthew 18:17) If he does not listen to them, speak to the congregation. If he does not listen even to the congregation, let him be to you just as a man of the nations

Becoming baptized as a Jehovah's Witnesses is not a trivial step. At a minimum, a student must demonstrate months of regular meeting attendance and public ministry, then must himself express the desire to be baptized. The candidate then spends hours answering hundreds of bible questions wherein he expresses both a clear understanding and personal conviction regarding Jehovah's Witness teachings in at least three separate interviews with three different elders. The candidate must vocally agree to be baptized in front of hundreds or thousands of eyewitnesses, and must be publicly immersed in water. This is not a momentary emotional decision by an unreasoning child. Dedication as a Witness required hard work and determination at the time.

Learn more:
http://watchtower.co.uk/e/19880415/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.co.uk/e/19970101/article_01.htm

Answer 8

I'm one, it was the contradicting nature of the bible itself that did it for me, also the "we are then only true religion" crap. After much study and reflection I have realized all religions are the same and ended up an atheist

Answer 9

i had coleagues in high school, they tried many times to convert me. my only reaction was laughing with tears, but in fact i think it's sad

Answer 10

12,000 the fact that there aren't any windows in any of their churches