Is it bad to friends with benefits?

Question

What are your views on the matter? Could you ever become a couple after being friends with benefits? Do guys just think its a booty call?

Its just not some guy we have been friends for a while now

add i really like him but i think he doesnt want a relationship... But I totally would

haha I am not sleeping with him... I believe in waiting till marraige. But Like kissing, making out, and cuddling with eachother. Sex is out of the question.

Answer 1

The problem with this type of arrangement is that sooner or later, odds are that one of you will develop feelings for the other, and while both parties have enough feeling to do it in the first place, odds are that one of you will not feel the same as the other.

Then the problems start as one person wants to change the nature of the arrangement and the other wants to leave it as is. The person wanting the change might become overly possesive or smothering, or jealous.

I'm sure there are couples out there who started out this way, and being friends with your partner is a great thing, but odds are probably against it in most cases.

Guys don't all think it's a booty call, but probably a lot do, and probably a lot of women too.

Answer 2

This is the 21st Century, not the 19th, so there is nothing wrong with a woman being as eager for sexual pleasure as a man and the double standard went out with the horse and buggy.

Life should be lived and enjoyed and there is nothing wrong when two consenting adults agree to enjoy each other's company in such a way. Where the problems or issues arise is when one of the "friend" wishes to be more than friends.

Anytime two people share themselves with each other, there is always the potential for it becoming much more than friendship, though it probably doesn't occur as often as when those friend's become more than friend's before such sharing happens.

Another down side is one I have experienced myself, which is the fact that having a "friend with benefits" can prevent you from finding true love or even seeking such things. You'll have to understand that I'm speaking from the male point of view and it has long been established that men and women think differently and act differently, so we won't delve into that. When I had a "friend with benefits," then I ceased seeking a relationship that could potentially evolve into a life long commitment and love, because I had the physical aspects without the hassles, which seemed the perfect scenario for a guy.

Bottom line... if both adults are consenting and no one is being hurt and enjoyment is had by both parties, then what is the problem. Sure, someone will say that the woman is not being a "good girl," but why isn't she? Doesn't everyone deserve to enjoy life and enjoy the pleasures that a sexual relationship can provide?

Sex is a basic human need and one of the strongest, so if neither party is involved with anyone else and both parties agree to share each other, then what's the problem?

Answer 3

I have several FWBs (guys and girls).

I don't see it as being wrong - unless you are in a committed relationship then yeah.. thats called cheating.

If the mood strikes..why not? as long as everyone understands what it is... then i don't have a problem with that.

I've had a couple that later wanted more.. but I didn't so things ended.. and thats the risk I guess you take.. because when you go to a FWB status.. once someone wants more.. and the other one doesn't... you loose that friend as well.

guys may think of it as a booty call.. but I see it differently because with a FWB.. you go out and do stuff and if sex comes up.. it comes up... not like a booty call when someone calls you up around midnight and comes over just for that and then leaves and you never do anything else but that.

Answer 4

There seems to be a lot of different things going on in your question. First it is not a situation where its friends with benefits because that is usually a term where you are friends with everything in between. I think you should stop selling yourself short whether he is a long time friend or not and find someone that you could be whole with. As a friend knowing that you have feelings for him, he should have respect enough for you to stop leading you on into believing that it could be something more in the future if that is not what he is looking for now and you are.

later

Answer 5

The only way it would be bad is if u are cheatin on someone else, or forcing someone to do somethin they don't wanna.

If u both enjoy what u are doin, then it ain't wrong. And it ain't anyone else's business either...so they ain't got any say in it.

And sure u could become a couple after bein friends with benefits...why not?

And it could be a booty call...only u can know that for sure. If u start to act like u want a heavier relatiionship and he pulls away from that, then it might be a booty call.

Answer 6

Sometimes, people are attracted to each other and love each other more as friends, but they wouldn't make a good couple. I think that as long as you're not hurting anyone and you can't resist, there's not a whole lot wrong with it.

Yes, you can have a relationship with either each other, or other people if you want.

The only thing is that if one person is more attached to the other (which is normally the case) and the other friend finds the love of their lives and no longer wants a "friend with benefits" , someone's feelings can get crushed.

Happy Fourth of July!

Answer 7

It could be a 50/50 chance.

It depends on what kind of relationship you had with him other than sex. You should evaluate the kind of bond that you have with him other than sex. Whats your conversation like with him? Is it just about sex when you're around him?............... If the answer to these questions are positive then you can tell if there can be a possible relationship.

A real relationship is more than just SEX......

Hope this works for you!!

Answer 8

Yes. I've had a whole bunch, but having a friend with benefits is like a board game. Eventually it gets old. By the time you've messed around a whole bunch of times, when you finally get in a relationship, there are no surprises.

Answer 9

if you both are okay with it no it is not bad, and yes, you can sometimes become a couple after wards - but it does not happen often - it seems that if it is friends with benefits - guys and girls think it is just a booty call. that is the whole point, right?

Answer 10

I think it is bad. You are disrespecting yourself by just giving it out to someone you don't really love. Show yourself respect and wait for someone that actually cares about you and wants to be more than just a late night, drunk booty call.