When we built our home two years ago, we decided the best guest bedroom for my mother-in-law and father-in-law would be the one that had its own bath. When they visited last, she decided she liked the bathroom down the hall better and then slept in another bedroom off and on as well. I was a little perturbed with this as I thought it was rather rude to mess up two bathrooms and two bedrooms for just two people in someone's home! I would NEVER dream of venturing out in someone else's home and just decide to stay where I wanted to! Am I wrong in thinking this way? What would she do if we lived in a two bedroom home? She would not have this luxury.
They are coming down for a visit next week and I am trying to find a tactful way to dissuade this from happening again this year.
2007-06-28 04:42:59 · 21 answers · asked by felicitytoo 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
First, I would have your spouse talk to them about this. Second, I would start by saying something like, "I noticed that you liked the other room better than the first one. We would be happy to have you stay there while your visiting us."
good luck!
2007-06-28 04:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by toromos 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Find some stuff that you can box up, or bring in something like a box full of old paperwork, like you're looking through it. Whatever you decide, just make it look as though the other bedroom is being used for something else.
Also keep in mind though, that A) the bed may be more comfortable in one than the other, B) the bathroom may be larger and more accomodating and C) if you have kids, maybe they just want to be nearer to their grandchildren. Without knowing the full circumstances, it's hard to say, but I wouldn't just brush it off as them being rude.
2007-06-28 11:53:50 · answer #2 · answered by jdm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is something that is really bothering you that much, just make up a lie...close the doors and say you are in the process of painting or some slight remodeling...then, no feelings are hurt...
OR
say the water doesn't run in the one bathroom...
don't put any sheets on the bed in the other room...
OR
just be straight up...it shouldn't offend anyone if they are rational people...I wouldn't take it personally if they are offended...it's being courteous to not make a mess when you stay with someone...
2007-06-28 11:53:53 · answer #3 · answered by Angel Eyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so rude what they did. Do you invite them or do they just tell you they are arriving? I would hate that. They are probably the type people that you cannot simply say, 'Please use only this bedroom and this bath' since they wont listen. SO, either get a locksmith to come and fix that bedroom and bath with a lock you can close it off with or leave a note on the front of the door saying please do not use. Gee then I would get your husband to clean it if they do it again since he should be dealing with them, not you.
2007-06-28 12:20:46 · answer #4 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best policy, with tact. Just tell your inlaws that they will be more comfotable in the bed and bath rooms you have selected. Say that the last time they used both and in case you have more company while they are there that you would like some rooms to stay clean. It would afford you more quality time with them if your time will not be spent cleaning.
2007-06-28 11:58:22 · answer #5 · answered by msbeej2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm it is rude of them but i'd say don't sweat it.
Trouble not = to a little extra cleaning and laundry. Just make sure your husband knows so one day when your folks get on his nerves he does the same.
but if that doesn't work for you.
tell them the dog/cat pee'd on the other bed and the beadspread/comforter is out to the cleaners :)
or
make the room uninviting - leave a laundry basket and folded laundry on it or some other task in progress
2007-06-28 12:10:58 · answer #6 · answered by naula 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hear your frustration. I have been in similar situations. To protect her from embarrassment take her aside to a private room. First, explain your thoughts on why you chose giving them that particular room. Then give her an opportunity to explain her reasons for her choices. If they do not jibe or bide well with you, then explain your desires for the future visits. If and when spoken compassionately all will be well if both sides are mature and reasonable.
2007-06-28 11:55:37 · answer #7 · answered by blue_cobra_driver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Temporarily move the bed out of the room and say you are thinking of turning it into a study. She'll have no choice but to sleep in the other room. And since the second bathroom would be inconvenient, she'll probably use the one connected to her room. Hope that helps.
2007-06-28 11:54:18 · answer #8 · answered by Sammye Jo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Decide which room you want them to sleep in, and as you bring them there to upack, just say "you'll be staying in this room this visit, since we've been using the other room as a office", and just keep the door to the other room closed. Ask your spouse to back you up on this issue. Hopefully they will get the hint and just keep themselves to the one room. On the plus side- tho I'm sure it was annoying for you- it's likely they feel so comfortable in your presence, that they did their own thing during the last visit. This means you did a great job of making them feel at home.
2007-06-28 12:12:28 · answer #9 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ask which room and bathroom they prefer to use, and tell them that is the one you will get ready for them.
OR you could lock the other room and bathroom and tell them you are having some work done in there and it is a mess.
2007-06-28 12:21:38 · answer #10 · answered by deerogre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put some things from your garage in there and say you are trying to orgnaize and using the extra room for storage. Turn of the water to all of the faucets in the extra bathroom and tell them you are having leaks and that bathroom is off limits till the reapair is done.
or just tell them not to mess up your house and try to keep their things to one room during their visit.
2007-06-28 11:56:09 · answer #11 · answered by manimal2878 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋