My sister is getting married Saturday and I am unable to make it what do I tell her?

Question

I am unable to attend the wedding, and I feel really bad, I don't want to hurt her feelings, but we just can't afford to make the trip.

sorry i should have explained my self better, I was unaware of a wedding, untill last week, this has all been told to me last week a day before i recived my invataion, I just cannt up and leave, its called life,work and bills, this trip will cost us about $800.00,that i do not have.we are a family of 6,i can't waste this kind of money, i really feel bad but i did not have enought time to save money, if i had the time i would have save the money. I love my sister and i am still trying to work it out

Answer 1

You should tell her the truth as to why you can't make the trip. I am sure that she will understand. You probably should have planned better, and saved up the money. Unless she planned this spontanously.

Answer 2

You shouldnt have waited till last minute to say something to her. now she's going to be really upset cuz this entire time she's been expecting you to be there, then all of a sudden you wont be? what happened tht was so extreme that out of nowhere you decided you couldn't afford to come? there's gotta be a better explanation than '' I cant afford it'' Cuz I'm sure she gave you ample notice to save for the trip. I'd never miss my sister's weddings, unless I was dead or in a hospital. I'd make sure I saved enough money so I would be there, no matter what. you better find a way to get there or you can expect to not have a good relationship with your family any more. Family is more important than everything else. they're the ones who made you who you are today, and the reasons you have gotten so far in life. Dont be hurtful towards your sister, just GET THERE!

Answer 3

I agree with everyone else who has said, you need to do whatever it takes at this point to be there. Just you--you don't have to take the rest of your family (husband, children). But this is your SISTER--unless someone in your family is DEAD or dying, you be there.

Call your parents, tell them your dilemna, and ask for their help. You might also just want to get in the car, and start driving there--unless you live on the east coast and the wedding is on the west coast--you should be able to make it. Go to http://www.lastminutetravel.com/ check out fares before calling your parents. Tell them how sorry you are that you're doing this at the last minute, but that you really need their help.

The other thing is, unless she's thrown this together at the last minute, you've known about this for some time, since she got engaged--which was probably at least 6 months ago. She's not going to buy you can't afford the trip, and quite honestly, she shouldn't. You will hurt her tremendously if you do not attend, and it will probably permanently damage your relationship with her.

Answer 4

Professional Advice ---- If this were anyone else I would suggest jsut flat out telling them. I'm sorry but I can't make it. Your reason are really none of their busniess. But with family it's an entirely different issue. Simply tell her you can't make it. If she doesnt understand why tell her that you can't afford the trip and the cost around that. For a bride to get uspet over osmething like this is normal. BUT, she should not expect her guest to strain themselves financially jsut ot make it to her wedding. NO ONE is so important taht you should finacially strain yourself. This creates stress and depression. It's the last thing you need. Just simply say, I'm really sorry but I can not make the trip to your wedding. I really want to be there and I love you. I do wish you both the best. But I'm just in a financial strain right now.

Answer 5

Exactly why you cannot make it. It might make you figure out why you are unwilling to be there for your sister's wedding, and did not budget or sacrifice to make it happen. If it is an unexpected medical bill, your car blew up, or your house burned down, she will understand. If it is that you did not save enough cash to pay for a tank of gas to drive to the wedding, then you will hurt her feelings because what you did was hurtful.

Not going to sugar coat it, but unless you are flying from Singapore to London, most people would be able to make the trip with about a year's advance notice to save money. (UNLESS, it's a destination wedding... those ask guests to pay a thousand+ to attend, and that's her fault). She is not going to understand why you didn't make her wedding a priority, and are backing out 3 days before her nuptuals.

Answer 6

I'm getting married this sunday. I'm not too terribly close to my mom's family - although they all live about 4 hours away. They all said they were coming and were excited about it. Then... half of them told me that they aren't going to be able to come down - for a few various reasons. The other half won't show up (I know from past experience with them). I wouldn't have minded - if they would have just said, no, we won't be able to come. honesty is always the best thing. i don't even have to know why. They could have even excused themselves by sending a note in the mail and a simple "congratulations".
All that said. you should have been upfront. it's too late now for "up-front". If you are absolutely unable to attend - then call her immediately, tell her everything - but, if you aren't going because you think the money is better used elsewhere... GO. Just cut other expenses, save up - work hard. get a part-time job for a few weeks... Your relationship with your sister is more important than money or inconvenience. Not to slam you - just understand, it's important to her for you to be there. Go. Seek out a friend that might have airline passes, frequent flyer miles, take a bus. it might be unpleasant for you to travel without your entire family, but consider it. You are better there than no one. Please, no disrespect meant. I'm a moody bride myself right now.

Answer 7

I just cannot believe that you are waiting until 3 days before the wedding to let her know. That is very inconsiderate and selfish of you. She is your sister and I'm sure would have understood if you told her you could not afford to make the trip. Maybe she and/or your parents could have chipped in to help. There are great last minute deals on airfare. Personally, I would have been working extra and saving away to make it to my sister's special day. I'm sorry that you feel badly, but your sister is going to feel worse. Good luck, but you have to tell her the truth and ASAP!!

Answer 8

Well, at this point in time, you should go. It's a little late to tell them you are not coming. They have most likely paid for your portion of the food.

Secondly, I think it's a really big cop out to say "we can't afford it" Maybe I just have a higher regard for family functions, but you should go. It's your sister and she's getting married. It seems crazy to me that you would let money get in the way. Trust me, I'm broke too. But, I would find away to pay for the trip. I don't really advise the use of credit cards, but in a case like this, I would. It's better to be paying off the trip for one year, then to spend the rest of your life and hers regretting not attending.

Answer 9

If you couldn't go you should have told her.... unless you're bleeding from the head there's no reason for you not to go. If it's too expensive, then YOU go and leave your husband/family at home. Are you that far away that a family member can't pick you up? You don't have to give her a gift if that is why you're so concerned....

I bet if you even TOLD her, she might help you find a way to get there.... I can't even fathom how rude you must be though to wait until two days before when you're sister is not only expecting you to be there, but also PAYING for your dinner/spot at the reception

Answer 10

What could be more important then your sister's wedding? If you really can't pay for the trip you should have called and let her know a lot sooner then the day before. She has spent money for you to be there and you aren't even showing up. I know how I would feel if my sister didn't come to my wedding and left it to the day before to even call me. Better send at least a nice gift.

Answer 11

It's Thursday and you've JUST determined this ?? Unless her wedding was announced Monday, I don't see any excuse !!

As others have stated... borrow from SOMEONE !!

I drove 550 miles for my older brother's wedding, and then drove 550 miles BACK that night so I could be back to the Navy Squadron on Monday.

I worked 4 weeks overtime to get the money and time off from another job so I could make it to my little-brother's wedding.

Otherwise... tell her the TRUTH and pray she'll understand.