I am a step mother to 3 children. boy 10, girl 13, and girl 15. I have been married to their father for 2 years. Our relationship is very unstable due to his controlling nature. I see his children acting in the same manner. When I come home it is "where have you been?" not hey how are you? how was your day? or they will continue calling my cell until I answer....rather then leave a msg....which is just like their father. The middle step - daughter was looking in my car for the garage door opener when she came across an eyeglasses case hidden with some very personal items in it. She was told the garage door opener was in the driver door pocket. but she went through my entire car. She called her dad and said she had discovered the items in the case and was shocked. He called me and said I had some explaining to do to his daughter.I am confused.I feel he should have covered me and that should be the end of it. His daughter even left me a note in the case "what the heck is this"
2007-06-28 04:00:22 · 9 answers · asked by lucy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I can't help but ask...what was in the case?
2007-06-28 04:04:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have gotten your own life under control before you took on a new family.
Don't have stuff to hide, but if you want something to stay private, get a safe deposit box.
And, if the children are just like their father, you should love them all the more. After all, didn't you marry him because you loved him?
I usually do not believe in divorce, but you are headed there anyway, so if it were me, I'd try to talk it (calmly) over with the dad. But people don't often change much because you want them to. They change because they see they need to. So unless he sees a need to change, and unless you see a need to change, change won't happen. You are both in need of changing.
Perhaps family counseling would help.
2007-06-28 11:32:10 · answer #2 · answered by Einsteinetta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't read this question before I answer the other one. You have far more serious problems than just needing a place to smoke. Your husband is treating you with disrespect and he should have told his daughter to mind her own business. I don't think you owe anyone an explanation of anything if they are going through your private things. Get some counseling, I think your marriage is in big trouble.
2007-06-28 11:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You maybe should think about whether you really want to be in this relationship or not. It isn't just a relationship with your husband, but with his kids too. They resent you. They resent you because you aren't their mom. Is this something that you want to live with the rest of your life? Think about it good and hard. It won't get better any time soon. Sit down with your husband first. Tell him how you feel. Then meet with the entire family and set guidelines. If he doesn't back you up with this, he may not be the man you thought.
2007-06-28 11:33:34 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you're still married to this man?
Hiding personal items from your family is one thing - we'll get to that in another post - but seriously, this guy is something else.
If you have no children (or even if you do have children) pack up your bags and leave.
No honey, this isn't going to get any better. It will only get worse.
It's obvious that you are not wanted in this household for anything other than a servant and money.
2007-06-28 11:20:16 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lock your car doors. Block the number from your phone when you don't want calls. Shut the ringer off. Tell those kids to mind their own business. Sorry, but what was in that case?
2007-06-28 11:12:04 · answer #6 · answered by bluebird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG you poor thing. Hun you are being a doormat. I think you should leave this marriage as they are just using you and for the children to treat you as the child is totally unforgivable.
I suggest you go to your mother or a relativies house and stay there for two weeks. Dont answer your cell and block all communications so they understand that you are not their child/slave.
2007-06-28 11:05:19 · answer #7 · answered by Mary-Anne 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You now are the evil step mother - you should have thought about how real life would be before you married your husband. Kids are tough - and they will make it tougher for you - sounds like they are winning the battle.
2007-06-28 11:13:56 · answer #8 · answered by molly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should draw some limit, tell her that none of your business, to me it look like they're bossing you around, take controll, & show them who's the mom imean step-mom
2007-06-28 11:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋