ok...wont say names but shes 15 and hes 22. They r really in love, and will never let each other go. But the thing is, her mom forbid her 2 ever tlk 2 him again when she found out. She eventualy started talkin 2 him again though. she dosnt lik lyin 2 her mom, but her mom dosent understand....and never will. If she dosent tell her mom she can still tlk 2 the love of her life, but still have 2 live with the guilt of lyin 2 her mother. If she tells her mom, shed be sacrificing wht she has with this guy, and she dosent want that 2 happen. She going CRAZY over this. Wht should she do. Plz Help!!!
2007-06-27 20:48:11 · 14 answers · asked by Jasmine B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
that is a HUGE gap in their ages. i imagine this 15 year old girl feels pretty good about being with an older man. i mean she is in what the 10th grade or so and he has been out of high school for how long?
lieing to your parents is never a good idea especially when you're still a minor and he is an adult.
i would suggest that you talk to your mother "maturely" and responsibly. no temper tantrums, no fits of anger, or pouting or any of that. ask her to meet with him to talk with him herself. and if at first you dont succeed, wait a while and try again, then again.
though you have not mentioned this, if sex is involved and your mother finds out that you disobeyed her wishes, she as your parent, could press criminal charges against him. i know neither this 15 year old or this adult man would want that. and if there is no sexual activity going on, why bring that kind of drama into that man's life? and believe me whether love is a factor or not, he wont want that headache.
outline what you are going to say to your mother and check it twice. keep it simple and realistic. and be prepared for some backlash for being deceitful. you are trying to step into grown people's territory; you have to be ready for the good, the bad, and the ugly. make sure you are ready for that.
but let me add this... if he is 22 years old and is interested in this 15 year old, it seems to me that he would be suggesting that she do the right thing and listen to the mother. if true love is there he would wait until mother gives the green light.
be honest and clear headed with your mother it will go a long way.
2007-06-27 21:25:27 · answer #1 · answered by miss lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at 15 you don't want to burn bridges with your parents or violate there trust cause once you mess that up it's very hard to get it back. Also 15 and 22...? it's not bad but it's hard to see what a 22 year would want with a 15 year old. What do you have in common and what are you gonna do once he starts being interested in women around his age it sounds harsh but they have more to offer what can you do for him but listen and provide sex? Yes you could love him but love isn't all there is and a 22 year old man whether he's acting like it now or not is gonna wanna experience life as a grown man your friend (you) aren't grown you have experienced anything yet to really bring to the table you have to look at this relationship 6 mouths or a year from now. Is it really worth screwing things up with you mother? She knows what a 22 year old man's mind is like you don't you haven't been there. I say cool it with him now when your 16 or 17 trust me your way of thinking will be different and your moms may too. She might not have a problem with you dating a 21 year old but! you can't mess that up now. You have to think of that what if's: what if you get pregnate(if your having sex with him which if your not you will be because you say you love him if he says he'll wait for you bull trust I know from experience no man is gonna hold out for sex if he doesn't have to and when you find out he's cheating you'll be devistated) now are you gonna have the baby at 15 ...? it's harder than you think..oh well I'll have an abortion also very hard and your mother will be so disappointed in you. What are you gonna do when he starts going out to clubs and bars ..? you can't go you can't hang out all night with him and spend the night out you think oh yea I can handle it but when he's not calling everyday because he had a long night your mind is gonna start to wonder. There are so many things that having this relationship could do to you and your mother and it's not worth losing her trust now and in a year or so you'll be able to do way more because she trust your judgement because you honored her wishes. Why does this man love you? and don't say because your beautiful and funny and he thinks he can tell you anything. Besides sex talking is all you can do and there's more to a relationship than sex and if he can't be man enough to say you know what your mom's right (because if he loved you he knows how hard this is) let's cool off and I'll try and wait for you. I've been there and it wasn't worth it, it's too hard to sneak around cause your gonna get caught then the next three years are gonna be hell. Just hold off it'll be hard but you'll look up and see it was worth it.
2007-06-28 04:11:44 · answer #2 · answered by sky g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you and your friend don't realize, at your age, if that her mother knows exactly what she is doing, and definitely understands the situation.
There is something very, very, very wrong with a man of 22 being interested in a 15 year old girl, unless he is a child molester.
I have to say this, and I know that you will probably not understand it until you have a child of your own, if she were my child, I would have him either arrested, or have a restraining order put against him.
If he truly loves her, he will wait until she is 18. If he does not wait, then he never truly loved her.
2007-06-28 03:59:51 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The mother knows best. She is very worried of the idea her child is being taken advantage of by a way older man, even if thats not the case.
She is only protecting her daughter, let the mother do whats best, she will thank her later
2007-06-28 03:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should do as her mother says. That is quite an age distance there, and I would consider it dangerous. Also, if she were to be caught, then she'd have to deal with being in trouble, losing her mother's trust, and so on. It's in her best interest to stay away from him.
2007-06-28 03:52:41 · answer #5 · answered by DaViDb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your "Friend" to listen to her mom. The guy is too old for her. As a matter a fact, if any serious thing happens, he could go to jail.
2007-06-28 03:54:02 · answer #6 · answered by Dr Love 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just cuz he says he loves her doesn't mean sh*t.....he's more than likely after one thing and I bet she's givin it to him and her mom knows. Mom's are smarter than u think....they know what they're talkin about....they've been there and done that. Listen to the mom!!
2007-06-28 03:59:20 · answer #7 · answered by Abby Jo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She needs to stop talking to this guy and listen to her mom til she's 18 and can make her own decisions!
2007-06-28 03:50:55 · answer #8 · answered by HaLF_BaKeD123 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what your friend and that guy is doing is illegal. if they get caught they both would get in trouble. he would go to jail for statutory rape and she would get in trouble with her mom. if they want to do it right and not get either of them in trouble, let them talk but not kiss or have sex until she is legal at the age of 18.
2007-06-28 04:00:32 · answer #9 · answered by party_2_hearty 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to her,she is too young to be in love . she should talk to her mother more , and stop talking to him for a
a wile
2007-06-28 03:59:19 · answer #10 · answered by snow white 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋