Is it wrong that I like guys who dominate over me?

Question

I am 13, but my "mom" is pretty open minded when it comes to the guys I date. I've never had a normal life, and I honestly do have a lot to complain about. Well, long story, if you want to know, just e-mail me.

Anyways, I've dated guys my age and older (oldest being 17), and I've started dating in September after I tuned 13. I haven't done anything "scandelous" with any of them. Just kissing, and making out a bit without crossing the line. All the guys have been great and normal and 100% approved by my "mom", because she knows these boys. 98% of them are her co-workers' sons. Good boys.

I've noticed that all the ones I've been semi-serious (i've been with 4), have been dominent. Like, I don't know how to explain...If they want something (appropriate) from me, they'll just do it, and I won't complain or struggle or strain from/for it.

It's a major turn on to me when a guy has complete control over me, as long as he doesn't cross a certain line.
Is this okay?

All opinions welcome!

Answer 1

Sounds like a normal dating preference. You're just submissive in matters of intimacy. A lot of women I've met are. When you do start having sex (hopefully much later in life), just make sure your submissiveness doesn't cost you in the pleasure department. Also, being submissive is one thing, but never let yourself become a doormat. Some women are too submissive throughout their entire relationship & allow men to abuse them. If this becomes the case, then you have a problem & need to seek therapy. However, just liking a guy to take control & kiss you is pretty normal.

BTW, why "mom"? Is this not your real mother or something? She should probably be putting the reins on you a little more if she's letting 17-year-old guys date you, because guys this age are only going to be interested in you for one thing. 15 should probably be the top range for you right now, & even then, exercise caution, even if she doesn't.

Answer 2

You may think you have alot to complain about, but there's no purpose in complaining about it. Your life may be hard. The way that you put mom in quotes seems to suggest there's a bit of a problem there. Either the woman isn't your real mother and she's a step-mom or she is your real mom and you do not consider her an authority figure. Either way, the relationship is strained because otherwise you wouldn't be putting the word in quotes. Next, your mom may be open minded, but she needs to be your mother, not your best friend. You are only 13 years old, and you shouldn't be worrying so much about guys right now. You are still very young. That's not an insult. That's just the truth. It's good that your mom knows the boys that you are dating, but she shouldn't be letting you be alone with them. She should be more responsible. It doesn't seem like your mom is someone that makes a lot of rules when it comes to dating or anything really. Now, I say that for a reason. People who live in situations where there is little control seek to have someone to set a boundary for them or to take control of them. They seek to be told what to do because in actuality they aren't getting it. I have a friend who is like this. Her mother lets her do anything, but then when she's around guys she is like a 2 year old waiting to be told what to do. You need to be very, very careful about these guys. There is nothing wrong with be submissive in bed, but you need to keep in mind that you need to be safe about it. Some guys will take advantage of you and think NOTHING of it. Be careful! Please, please, be careful. Consider taking some time away from guys. You are so young. Just be a kid!

Answer 3

For one thing, you are too young to date, and especially a boy who is 17.

That said, it is not normal to want to be dominated all the time. If you pick guys like this, in 10 years, you will be back here crying because you are involved with a control freak who won't let you do anything without his permission.

Change your way of thinking, and get some self respect. If you are going to date, go out with boys more your own age, and don't let them do what ever they wish, no matter how appropriate you think it is. Learn to say NO!

Otherwise, you are going to allow more and more until you end up being an unwed mother. I don't think you want that. If you say it won't happen---think again. Have respect for your body!

Now enjoy your teenage years. They go by all too fast!

Answer 4

by being with you mean sex? because 13 is too young to be having sex with anyone, let alone 4! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! "god boys" do not go around having sex with 13 year olds. i think you mom needs to step up and be a better parent if this is going on in her household!

and even if you have not had sex with these boys, 13 is way too young to be using terms like dominated!

Answer 5

As long as they don't cross-the-line.

Hmmmm, dating at 13 ........ ummmm, lemme guess -- don't think you'll be still a virgin by the time you hit 16???

Will it be a "sweet" 16???

=)

Answer 6

That's totally wrong. I HATE it when girls just shrink in a corner and alls that comes out of their mouth is, "Yes." If the guy's really "dominant" it becomes frickin' appeasement.

Answer 7

You too Young to be Dating and your Mom is irresponsible. And NO its Not Ok.

Answer 8

no i don't think its good,ur too submissive and i think you need to take charge,you might meet a bully who would take advantage of that,it's good when they take charge but you also need to have a say in whatever involves you kid.you are too young,am sure when ur abit older you will understand.

Answer 9

if you like that kind of stuff go for it. just as long as they dont cross that certain line that you dont want them to cross, or if they do something that you dont like.

Answer 10

Ho in training.