what did i do that was SO wrong?

Question

ok so all this happened about a month ago but i still feel hurt and i want to know if I really did do something bad. i really liked this girl and she goes to my school yet she only talked to me on the internet. there i found out we had a lot in common. a lot. and i started to like her but at school she would never talk to me! its like she tried to distance herself from me but sure enough, she would talk to me online. this went on for about a month and we talked about 2-3 times every week online but never at school. very frustrating so finally one time when we were talking online, i asked her why she wouldnt talk to me at school. i said that i was fine with it if she was shy and online was the only way she was comfortable talking to me but i would rather she talk to me in person. i said that it was ok to be shy and that she didnt need to be around me. then she stopped talking to me altogether and I heard from her friends that she was really mad at me and thought I was a

f****r and to get out of her life. I was like whaat? over that? come on, why? so should I still be feeling bad? all I did was say that I wanted to talk to her in person like any caring guy would! advice please?

and not to be cocky or anything, but most people say im a really cool and nice guy so i dont know why she would be embarassed around me.

Answer 1

You didn't do anything wrong. She's the one with the problem, so don't even give it a second thought. Why would you want someone who won't give you the time of day in person? You gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked her about it in a really nice way, but at the same time also gave her the message that you have a semblance of self-esteem and won't allow someone to treat you this way. She's probably insecure and image conscious but lonely. So she's probably just worried about looking like she's fitting in with the "in crowd" by not talking to anyone she thinks might not fit that narrow image, but she's also probably lonely and wants someone genuine that she can talk to. Don't let her use you like that. If you're good enough for her to chat with online, you're good enough for her to talk to in person. Good for you for speaking up.

Answer 2

Well, from what it sounds like, either she took it the wrong way, which is highly possible being online. I do it all the time, I joke around, but theres emotion, just words, so a joke or question can be completely different from online to real life.

Or, its also possible its nothing you did. Maybe shes kinda of a wack job or something. Like, not mentally stable. So, something thats small to the average person, she may take the complete opposite and be offended. Either way, you are going to have to confront her at school or somewhere, but not online. A harmless thing online is always blown out of proportion. Ive seen it so many times. People live in this world, and believe it or not, it does affect people. So, she may just be lonely and shy, but talk to her.

Now, if your in 4th - 7th grade, just forget about her. Its not worth the effort. 8th - 10th, Id confront her, but I wouldnt stick around. Clear your conscious and leave. 11-12th I would confront and stick around for a while. Let things iron out. It may just be a phase.

Also, theres the possibility its all a game. Ive seen this too. A girl finds a guy that is single, and her and her friends mess with him. Like, talking to him, seducing, emails, phone messages, and the whole time its either a really mean joke, or she lost a bet. Sadly, ive seen both. They talk to you online, or in person, and they play games to find out what you like, and ironically they do to. So, just keep defense up. And again, this is just me blabbling. I dont know the situation fully, but thats my 2 cents.

Answer 3

She probably was just shy. Shy people don't like you bringing up the fact that they're shy. They are already aware of that, and it hurts them. Don't bring it up again. I would talk to her friends and get them to tell her you're really sorry, and would like to still be friends. I would also ask her to go somewhere with you...getting pizza, or even walking home after school together. That way, it will just be you and her. No other pressures for her, and maybe she'll feel comfortable enough tell you why she was mad at you in the first place. She's lucky that you care about her. Good luck!

Answer 4

well my friend you've just had your first experience with your first shallow Person. Now take a Monet to let it sink in. OK ready I'll continue.. What you encountered was for the sake of child reader a superficial person. I'll explain.
In order to maintain there Quote "rep" they'll act the way of the crowd. Meaning that if your not one of the "In-crowd" then your garbage to them. So despite how they actually feel about something or as in your case one one they wouldn't upon it for sake of not "Fitting in." So they'll act op-on these feelings when there away from the crowd in private. This happen so often in school so its not hard to miss, that if you know what your looking for.

So what I'm getting at is if this girl relay likes you them try to build up her trust on you again, maybe apologizing for what you said (you don't have to mean it) Maybe go in the direction of you'll tell everyone when your ready. That's if she still likes you. If not then you just better move on its a lost cause.

you didn't do any thing wrong by asking why your communicating is all *hush* *hush*. Just the ways you went at about it. you should of eased her into the idea of you two being seen talking together in public.

That's if you relay care if i was in your situation I'd just cut my loses and move on, its not worth it. In my opion. Then again its just that

Answer 5

You didn't do anything wrong. She was the one being unreasonable. It probably had something to do with some status/social issues. That type of thing is horrible in high school. It gets a lot better in college. You shouldn't feel bad about anything. After talking to you for so long online, it was only right for you to want to talk to her in person.

Answer 6

wow! you have some drama queens on your hands.

all girls are like that..for awhile. they probably mis.interpreted something you said, so if you really like this girl, ask her to explain why she's so pissed off.

if she's worth your time, she will explain. together you will figure out what went wrong. if she's not worth your time, she wont and you'll have to take it as a learning lesson.
it sounds to me like she might be ashamed of her relationship with you, or she's really scared to start talking to you in person because of all the things you probably know about her.

maybe she thought you were someone else, and tried to talk to you (but she was actually talking to someone else) and now she made an *** of her self with some guy she likes.

anyways...the possibilities are endless. i'm sure you've already thought of way more than i could ever type in here.

hope it turns out ok!

Answer 7

You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, confronting her about why she wouldn't talk to you in person was absolutely the right thing to do. Her reaction probably means one of two things: either she is embarrassed by the fact you called her on this - and maybe even ashamed of the fact she did this. Or it could mean she is a shallow person who didn't want to talk to you in public because she felt her friends wouldn't approve.

In either case, if she is going to be so immature about the whole thing you are better off without her. My advice would be to just go on with your life as if nothing happened. If she contacts you again then you can decide if you want to continue talking with her or not.

Answer 8

dude this sounds mean. you need to tell her that you really like her and u dont understand what you said that made her mad.. maybe she'll explain if its something deeper. chances are she talked to u online because there could be some other guy. or maybe shes never had a bf before and is playing hard to get or teasing you.. still, thats really messed up of her

Answer 9

God she sounds like an air head honey. Please don't beat yourself up over her stupidity. She was (by the sounds of it) embarassed for some reason or perhaps scared to talk to you in person (using you?) because of peer pressure. Are you in a similair group to hers at school? if not she was probably embarassed which is weak on her part. Move on, someone like that isn't worth it. If she did like you she wouldn't be doing this. Ignore her back.

Answer 10

Most likely she is shy to talk to you in person and that is why you both talk the internet. I don't know why she's acting like that. Maybe it's because you said she didn't need to be around you?