would you have done the samething?

Question

if you read my other questions you will be a little more informed about this matter.but here is a little info, my brother and sister in law kicked their teen daughter out because she is two months pregnant they want nothing to do with her the baby or anyone who is supporting her in this time of her life. mainly my family, she is my GODdaughter so when my wife and i heard they kicked her out we moved her in with us and our six kids. its been a while since my bro and i talked so it surprised me when i sow his car parked in my drive way. my first thought was i hope he isn't starting **** with my anyone in MY house. i walk in the door and i see him yelling at my wife. right there that pissed me off, then i see my GOD daughter crying. in my house he walked in and starting telling my wife **** and then telling my GODdaughter that she was a slut and a worthless piece of life.i asked him to please leave and not come back he wasn't welcome anymore.he didn't want to hear that.

he then started with me about going against him and his wife for taking her in. she should be out on the streets for the shame she brought. i told him thats enough leave. well then he started pushing me i knew he wanted to start a fight but i wanted to be the bigger man here. even though i was so tired just coming back from the field ( im in the maines). anyways we started fighting and one thing lead to another and i realized if this gets any more serious i could get in big trouble due to me being in the marines. well things did he sarted hitting me with a bat. but i was able to take it away. i then called the cops and since we live on base right now the were their faster then the speed of light. they then took him in and i did press charges. some how within that hour my mother found out. now she is not talking to me she said that i brought shame to her and how could i do that to my brother. i then said how can he do that to his daughter. its just a crazy mess...

but the last thing i wanted was for my mother to be against me and what i did. i mean whats up with my family its her grandbaby and his daughter how can they just push her out like that...not so much my mom but telling my i should of done that to my brother im sorry but no one is going to come into my house and treat my wife or anyone else who lives in my house like that. now i want to know how i can get my mom too see my point of view i can go through life with my brother not in it but my mom not in my life would just kill me..its bad enough that GOD takes all of is for one reason or another i can have her taken away from my life as well as my families life for a stupid reason such as my brother..

Answer 1

This is called a rough patch and all families go through them. It will take some time, but the drama will calm down once the baby is born and the the girl makes some important decisions on what happens next. Supporting her is a good thing for you. I wouldn't make anymore contact with your brother or your mother until all the dust settles. Go about your life and they will come around, especially after the baby is born. He's just hot under the collar right now and it may take him a few years to see the error of his ways, but this too will pass.

Answer 2

You did the right thing all round. This is your goddaughter as well as your neice. Family are there in support of each other, through the bad and the good. If your brother cant see that, then his life will be miserable forever and a day.
Your Mum will forgive you, but this may take time and if you go around and see her and explain to her what happen, as she really needs to hear both sides, then she may understand why you did.
He assaulted your wife and then began to assault you. You are the better person in this situation. I feel your brother needs to grow up and be a father to his daughter. What he has done is disgusting to say the least and deserves what he got. This may make him think twice, when he thinks he can push your family around.
The only thing that I can suggest is to give your Mum time to cool down then go and see her. Goodluck and may everything turn out for the best.

Answer 3

Let her know that she is the backbone of the family and she should be seting an example of how to be there for our kids no matter what grief they bring us through. Explain that your niece knew what she was doing but it's too late that she has gotten pregnant without finishing school, going to clooege and getting married but this baby did not ask to come here and all of you as a family has to be there for her, the baby and one another. Let her know that what happened between you and your brother was unfortunate and you did not want to do that, but he had no right threatening you, your niece and your wife. If would have came there you all could have had a family meeting and talked about the situation. That's his child and she needs him now more than ever. Did he ever sit down and talked to her about sex? If he had she would have had knowledge on waiting and knowing how to protect herself a little more.Tell her that you are not being mean but if he is not willing to be there for her someone has to. Let her know that being mad at you will not stop this baby from coming into the world and that this not just his soon-to-be grandkid, but her great-grandkid. She may have started young but she is carrying a legacy to continue the family name and heritage.Tell her for once try to see your side this kid needs some kind of support and she should also talk to grandkid and be there for her, let her know that she will be there and she will talk some sense into her dad. But her dad and her mom need to own up to their part she needed them and they were not there for her and she turned to sex. Whay didn't they take the time out to talk to her show her haow to stay ontrack and she would not be in this position. Everyone needs to over themselves and be there for this girl and the baby she is here and she is not going anywhere.

Answer 4

I will agree with everyone who has posted so far. You have done the right thing, and it was for the best. You are probably hurting that your mother was so angry with you, a lot of this anger will be temporary. It is the heat of the moment. No mother likes to find out her child was placed in jail by another child, she must feel like she has to punish you in some way for that. She will come around when she starts thinking about her great grandchild coming into this world.

I agree with giving both your mother and brother space and time to heal. I'd approach your mother first, once she accepts the situation for what it is and supports you, your brother will come around eventually.

Answer 5

In 5 years this will all be behind you. You cannot control your mother or your brother. You did the right thing, and get a restraining order if you have to.

Thank you for taking care of your godchild and niece. You have done a very generous and loving thing for this poor girl and her baby. Don't worry about what your family says, your wife and children know you are a true man. That's really all that is important.

Answer 6

In my opinion, I think you did the right thing. It is 2007 and society is much more forgiving anout a young girl who has a baby than it was even 20 years ago! I think it is wrong for your brother to act that way, but it seems like the reason he is upset with you is because he felt like you disrespected his "fathering techniques" and now he probably feels helpless. It seems to me that your brother & mother need to hold family on a higher level than their egos. I don't condone kids who kids, but at the same time that baby needs a stable family. The baby didn't ask to be here & your family needs to understand that. If they love you they will eventually get over it and realize how rediculous they've acted.

Answer 7

People like you make this world a better place to live. God is seeing this and he knows that you are doing your karma( duty or simply the right thing) even against all odds.

Each person has his or her views of things and it is not always possible to point it out to them that they are wrong. This is especially so if the beliefs have to do with "morality" or "religion". To top it all, to change one's parents view on it is practically impossible.

Talk to your mom, but dont go anywhere close to "morality" Try evoking her love for her greatgrandchild who is to be born....you can tell her something like 'what is his fault? why should we abandon him? what will his life be if we leave him alone? and will he even get a chance to live, to take birth? When we die and God asks u ' why didnt you help your grand daughter,yes she had done something wrong, she had chosen the wrong path........but you knew what was correct...why didnt you do it? why did u do injustice to an unborn child' what will u reply?

I know it sounds dramatic, but you will have to make her emotional. By telling something like this, you tell your mother that you agree that what she( your God daughter) has done is wrong, but by not supporting her, she will be doing something worse.Make sure that you do not confront her by something like 'mom the world is changing or it was her decision what to do with her life' or something like that. Simply because it will not help you.

I hope she understands that you have chosen the right thing to do. If she dosent, dont feel bad, feel sorry for her.

Answer 8

I THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. GOD SAW YOUR HEART AND HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING. JUST KEEP YOUR FAITH IN HIM AND YOUR FAMILY WILL COME AROUND. AND IF THEY DON'T, THEN ALL YOU CAN DO IS JUST PRAY FOR THEM. IF YOU FEEL YOU DID THE RIGHT THING AND YOUR HEART IS AT EASE WITH YOUR DECISION THEN THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. YOUR GOD DAUGHTER KNOWS THATS YOUR THERE FOR HER AND WHAT SHE REALLY NEEDS RIGHT NOW IS LOVE AND HER FAMILY. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES BUT GOD NEVER DOES!!!!!!

Answer 9

my god you ask a question not write a book!