What kind of relationship are young Muslim boys and girls allowed to have?

Question

Ok last one!!!

I will be teaching a class to teen girls and wanted some input from the Muslimahs out there.

They already told me that they do not want to hear the same lines that they hear from their parents and teachers. So any personal stories or other ideas would be very helpful.

1. are boys and girls allowed to be friends
2. can boys and girls talk on the phone
3. can boys and girls IM
4. are Muslims allowed to date
5. if they are allowed to date how does it take place

There is just so much research that I can perform. Hearing from you would help to put it all into perspective.

Thank you.

Answer 1

1. Of course!
I had tons of male friends when I was a teen... n now that I'm married... I still have tons of male friends... ranging from my classmates to my hubby's friends...

2. Of course... why wouldn't they be allowed?
It would be ridiculous to think otherwise... its just phone... how far can they go on the phone?! They can't go to second base on the phone! LOL!

3. Again... just like the phone... why not?!

4. Yes... only if the purpose is to get married... in Iran... ppl date before marriage... its the time you get to know each other... to see if you like each other or not... it would be far worst if you figured out something yucky about your spouse after marriage!
I dated for 2-3 years before I got married... my brother dated 1 year before he got married... my parents did... my aunts... cousins... etc. etc. etc....

5. The parents know about it... they go out... just like normal ppl... or they go to eachother's house... BUT the parents are there... lol... they wouldn't leave them in an empty house :D
BUT... they can go out alone... :D

Answer 2

1.Of course!

2.Yes

3.Yes

4.As long as it's not an enclosed area, and there must always be a third person around (in my country at least, or it would be known as khalwat - link to it included below).

5.It's a fine line, but Muslim boys and girls are not encouraged to touch each other, even shaking hands. But then again, most young Muslim couples don't really care. I've seen my friends (who are a couple) hug or cuddle each other, but it's less public than what we watch on One Tree Hill or whatnots.

Mostly it also depends on the person's track record and the trust between them, and their parents. My friends who do all the above are still fine and out of trouble, so I would say yes to all five.

Answer 3

Any relationship which has potential of ending up with some kind of tragedy or bad impact on person, persons, or society, has to be seen with care.
That is what religion advises.

Religion is there to give support and show how we can spend our life on this earth. This earth is made by God Almighty, our life is given to us by God Almighty, as our creator God Almighty is The Personality who can give proper instructions to live with safety and happily.

When a manufacturer make a VCR any other product , manufacturer also provide us an operational manual for that product, same way religion provide us manual to spend life properly.

The questions you mentioned can be analyzed history will also will guide us what are the results of such kind of relationship.
As you can see around you many people are looking for DNA centers to resolve there issues.

Religion provides very dignified solution for man and woman relationship because God Almighty knows best what type of emotions both have for each other.

Marriage is The Solution. Religion suggests when a woman and a man reached to puberty is the time for their union in form of marriage, to avoid questions you asked.
Those questions most of the time ended up with some kind of issue or issues.

For marriage religion also provide guidance, how to make marriage a success. Religion does not suggest to marry blindly,religion provide guidance how both parties can see each other in proper way to find poosibilties of union.

Answer 4

1. Depends... on what you mean by friends. But even friendship has its limits. Hugging, shaking hands and touching the opposite sex when they are your friends is definitely not allowed. But when you're in school, college or working, it's important to maintain a sense of friendship. You just have to know your Islamic limits and abide by them.

2. Depends on the context and the purpose of the telephone call. If you're talking about studies, work, Islam, anything that is worthwhile, then it's ok. Any foul, and vulgar talk is prohibited.

3. Same as above.

4. Strictly NO.

5. Same as above.

Just a thought, would the Prophet make friends with girls? Would he talk to them on the phone? Would he converse with them using IM.

Would he date girls?

Answer 5

1. Teenage boys and girls are allowed to be friendly with each other. All Muslims should be friendly toward other Muslims, but they aren't allowed to be close friends, due to possibility of temptation to sin.

2. Yes, as long as they keep it appropriately modest, and talk in the presence of other people.

3. Yes, same as answer #2.

4. Define date. They aren't allowed to be alone together if they aren't married, but they can meet together in public places and/or with their families present.

5. If two young Muslims want to get to know each other for the purpose of exploring the possibility of marriage, they meet in public places, preferably with their parents or other adults present. If they decide to marry, the young man will ask the permission of the girl's father.

Answer 6

Regarding to Islam, not culture..
boys and girls who are in the age of teenhood and above are not allowed to have relationships with each other unless it p a professional such as talking to a boy who is selling something, or ask about something, we are not allowed to allure boys or gaze at them and neither are they

Boys who are not a mihram are not allowed to be with other girls without a mihram of the girl...

Islam has closed all ways that can reach Zina ( illegal sex)
how? by not allowing both sexes to mingle who are not related, befriend them and such

because according to Islam it has many negativies...
Young couples ingore all of those rulings..

Islam encourages early marriages, so young people wouldn't have illegal sex ...

Answer 7

wat ur asking now has alot to do with the culture of the people you are teaching.
i live in Pakistan and my society is abit different from the rest of the country(im not trying to be alof here theres just this gap between the rich often liberal muslims and the poor/closed minded muslims which is caused by relegious ignorance).
so yes...my father told me i was supposed to find my own wife and yes i do have a girlfriend who i plan to marry(shes actually much more relegious then me,she takes the hijab becuase of the modesty thing,read the answer to the last question for details on that)

All relegion says is that a believing man and woman who r very closely related already are not allowed to be together in one place and be left alone to do and talk about wat ever they want...which means yes i can talk to a girl...but as long as their are other people around(some of you might think thats very cruel but BELIEVE ME,its for the best)

Some people expand that to mean you cant talk on the phone or IM becuase the two of you are essentially alone when u do those things but thats their own personal interpretation of wat the Quran says...i dont think thats right becuase it just isnt the same level of intimace(which is wat you are trying to prevent)
so the short answers culturally will probably be:
1.yes
2.maybe
3.maybe
4.no
5.no means no! :P
My interpretation of relegion is :
1.yes
2.yes
3.yes
4.yes
5.yes but only in a controlled supervised way

the answer to 5 in my society is to make sure u have a friend around..which is somethings most girls seem to do on their own and also
i love it when non-muslims take interest in our relegion,thank u :)

i just saw the link to the last persons answer and WOW malaysians have got it so right!kudos to them...i hope all muslim nations learn from them

Answer 8

None whatsoever if it's the kind most people think of. But other than that yes you can have relationship if they talk only but nothinbg can happen or be in such as way if you know what I'm speaking of.

Answer 9

good ones

Answer 10

that varies from parents too, just so you know