A good friend is engaged to a woman that I had sex with a few times several years ago. I am sure he does not know. Should I tell him now, later, or never? I do not want to lose him as a friend, nor do I want to see him get hurt?
2007-06-27 17:00:36 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No...what's in the past is in the past. Let it go.
2007-06-27 17:03:40 · answer #1 · answered by futureteacher0613 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so you slept with your friend's fiance' in the past? Was she already involved with your friend then, or not. If the answer is no, my suggestion would be, don't say anything, leave the past where it should be. If you say something now, you would risk losing his friendship, and it might end his relationship with his fiance', I do not think you want this to happen, it will complicate things. We are responsible for the choices that we make in our lives, i am sure your friend has his reasons for wanting to marry this girl. Just hope that things will work out between them.
2007-06-28 00:13:16 · answer #2 · answered by always51787 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think at this time in both yours and his lives, it is your responisibilty to care for him, abd by doing so that is supporting him in his relationship the best you can. His fiance is goign to be the woman he spends the rest of his life with and it will mean the most to him if she is the one to tell him. As hard as it is, you are just going to let the sitiuation play out and you may end up losing a friend and your friend losing his fiance if you do say something, time will sort things out.
2007-06-28 00:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by Sense&Sensibility 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because she had the poor taste to sleep with you is no reason to hurt your friend.
Now if you said she pulled a train with the football team from several different schools, that might be something to tell him about.
Sounds to me like you are jealous. I don't know if you are jealous of the time the young lady takes your friend away, or if you are jealous of your friend having the lady. Either way, get over it. Talking about it wil just be needlessly hurtful.
Doc
2007-06-28 00:05:13 · answer #4 · answered by Doc Hudson 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think your relationship with your friend is one that is sure to last, maybe you should be frank. You don't really owe it to her, because she should have let him know that from the beginning. But if she tells him first, will you be the villain for not saying something initially? Most men, I would think would want to know if his friend has already been with his girlfriend turned wife. Wouldn't you want to know?
Also, I just posed that type of question to a male friend, and he said he would want to know.
But why did you wait so long to consider telling? You should have said something when their relationship was young and he could have broken it off with her more easily.... if that is what he wanted to do.
2007-06-28 00:07:26 · answer #5 · answered by Speaking_Up 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was the past, you're not doing anything now. He loves her, so don't bring up anything bad. That doesn't matter. Let them be happy. It'd be easier to keep him as a friend that way as well.
2007-06-28 00:06:07 · answer #6 · answered by IndiHippi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a true friend you should tell him and let him decide if he still wants to be with that girl and if he is a true friend he will appreciate the effort u made in telling him that.
2007-06-28 00:04:27 · answer #7 · answered by starspark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah. It'd just make things awkward. This is the PAST here, right? It's not like you think she's running around on him now is it? Unless you gave her some horrible disease, just let this one go.
2007-06-28 00:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by Ambivalence 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has had sex with someone probably before they meet the one they love and marry. Why say anything, you don't think he had sex with anyone before? Keep it to yourself, if he is to know, she should be the one to tell him. Don't cause trouble.
2007-06-28 00:03:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him now and a real friend would no matter what it caused he find out when least expected from some one women talk in there sleep let him know this no matter the outcome. ok. in my opion?
2007-06-28 00:04:51 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sure 90% of the women who are getting married have had sex in the past, so no.
your problem is you probably still like her and resent the fact that he is tieng the knot with her. regardless, it's not your problem
2007-06-28 00:04:05 · answer #11 · answered by ur_hacked03 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋