Sex / playing around doesnt feel like anything?

Question

Whenever my boyfriend and I have sex (or whatever it is... oral, using his hands, anything at all) it doesnt feel like anything really. It doesnt hurt, but it doesnt feel good either. We havent had sex in a while, because for me, its stupid; i can make him feel good other ways, sex doesnt feel good for me, and i dont want to risk pregnancy if im not getting anything out of it. Does anyone have any idea of whats wrong? Even if I am aroused, once he starts actually doing stuff it doesnt feel like anything! We've been dating for over a year now and we're completely comfortable with eachother/ourselves blah blah. One theroy I have is maybe because I'm afraid of being walked-in on by someone else in the house, but that gets canceled out because sometimes we do things without anyone else home... Its really frustrating. Does anyone know what the problem is?

Ahh, I wanted to add one more thing;

I cant 'help him' because whenever i try to masturbate (ive given up :P) it doesnt feel good either. Im beginning to think im broken maybe?

Answer 1

Great sex doesn't come from physical stimulation. It don't matter how good he is, or if he hits the right spots perfectly everytime. The only thing that really has to be perfect is your mind set. Basically you don't just have to be turned on, you have to really be into it. The first time I had sex I was very disappointed. The whole time I was thinking " this is it? really ?" after all the hype from others about how great it was. I later learned you have to have your mind in it as well. You have to be comfortable with your surroundings as well. If you fear someone coming in, it will be hard to relax and enjoy. I suggest lots of foreplay, sensual massage, whispering to each other. Romance before sex. Nice dinner, good conversation. You need to really set the mood. There is literally dozens of things that can take away from great sex. But once you achieve it.....wow. I wish you the best of luck !! have fun

Answer 2

You are numbing your body from letting yourself go. You are afraid of something and it is all in your head.I was like you with my first boyfriend i would stop myself from feeling anything because i thought sex was dirty. It was put in my head from childhood on up.It took me years to tell myself that it wasn't a dirty thing we were doing and that no one was looking and no one could see what we were doing. It would help if you were to watch porn on your own and don't stop until you feel comfortable watching it. If that doesn't turn you on then go buy a romance book and read it late at night when you are alone see if you get that tingling feeling between your legs and if so then you can get turned on by your boyfriend. Remember someone done this to you it just didn't happen over night it was planted in your head by a family member a long time ago and it's up to you to get it out.

Answer 3

Tell him whenever he is fingering you to curve his fingers up like towards your stomach that way he can hit your spot.
Whenever he is giving you "oral" tell him too blow or lick on your clit. Make sure you know where your clit is and just relax and have fun.
Sometimes you have to show guys what to do.
Also, of course is a guy is just jamming his fingers inside you its not going to feel good, he has to know what hes doing and it doesnt sound like he does.
Once he hits that spot you will know.
Hope I helped, Ive been there and know exactly what you are feeling dont worry it gets better with experience!

Answer 4

It could be hes not doing it right or touching the right place.maybe you need to guide him along,tell him what you want and where you want it.Or and im really not trying to be funny here ok but if your actually doing it and your not feeling it,he may not be big enough to be hitting the G-spot and im being serious here.Or it could be you maybe theres something going on there that needs to be checked out,but i wouldnt know im not a DR. but you know what feels good and where it feels good show him if you have to.

Answer 5

maybe you are nervous and cant relax. since you know that sex and physical things are supposed to feel good maybe you are trying too hard to have an o r g a s m. what i would say is practice practice practice! try different things. try fast, try slow. hard, then soft. try massage oils, try lubricants. try toys. have him talk dirty to you as hes doing things. watch a dirty movie first to get you in the mood, and then copy anything that looks fun to you. trust me, something will work for you. just get creative! remember, you love each other and who knows what you might like!

Answer 6

It's not unusual. Many women can't have an orgasm from sexual intercourse. But if you have a man who knows how to use his tongue and his hands, you'll DEFINITELY feel something ...