I originally agreed that there will be no private strippers for my bachelor party and she was ok with that. Now that its getting closer she has now said no strip club either and no strippers at all. i keep telling her that i have no desire to go to a strip club but if thats what the other 20 guys that are at the bars with me want to do then i am fine with going. i will not be the one making the suggestion but if someone else does im not going to stop it either. all i care about is that everyone has a good time and if having a good time to them is going to a strip club then no big deal to me. am i being crazy or is she??? and what should i do? tell my best man that me and my fiance have decided absolutely no strip club or do i just go with the flow that night and suffer the consequences later?
2007-06-27 14:53:07 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Who cares what the other 20 guys want. Isn't this your party? Tell them you would prefer not to have strippers or go to a strip club. She is being honest with you about her feelings and if you were any type of man you would respect that and care more about what she feels, than the feelings of the other guys. After all, she is the one you are marrying.
Why would you want to go out of your way to hurt her feelings?
Strippers have no place in celebrating a couples marriage.
2007-06-27 18:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know, I read this same type of question on here all the time and i am always shocked at the amount of women that wont "let" their men go to a strip club. I bartended at a strip club for 5 years and when the bachelor parties came in it was always in fun. Usually the strippers at that club tried to embarass the bachelor more than anything. I really think that sometimes the other guys in the party had more fun watching and laughing as the guy got spanked or whatever. Why do so many women have such a problem with strippers??? When we would have male stripper night at the club I saw more than a few women who wouldnt "let" their men come to the club up there tucking a buck.....
I think you should just tell your fiance that you are not planning the party and wherever it goes it goes. Absolutely do not tell the guys that she wont "let" you go because if they know that.....the strip club will automatically go to the top of the list of places to go, who knows maybe they wont even decide to go there at all. Just assure her that you love her and that it's one night out with the guys and she has nothing to worry about....really does she think you are going to go home with one of those girls???
Good Luck
2007-06-28 06:10:06 · answer #2 · answered by legends_chick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is unreasonable for you to be so upset. Do you trust your partner? Have you two set rules? What are you really concerned with? A strip club is a safe setting for his bachelor party. I'd be much more concerned about a private party home where a stripper comes over...it is cases like that where the parties get out of control, and the strippers do "extra services". Not at a strip club. Is your fiance ok with YOU going to a strip club? If so, then I would say let it go. If he DOES have a problem with YOU going to a strip club, then fair is fair. You both should have equal rights in your relationship.
2016-04-01 08:23:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your best man to not plan a strip club into the evening. It sounds as though a strip club isn't part of the current plan so why would it be such a big deal for it to stay that way? She's just insecure about you being at a strip club around mostly naked women. Planning a wedding is stressfull and her emotions are probably going crazy right now. Not to mention that people are probably telling her about the horrible things that will happen if you go to a strip club. Talk to her and make sure it's not a serious trust issue, but this is probably something you shouldn't mess with. Pick your battles- this could make the beginning of your marriage diffucult.
2007-06-27 16:36:33 · answer #4 · answered by K S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, make your decision carefully. Deciding to go to the strip club & suffer the consequences "later" is not a good thing to do & you will definitely give the impression that you can't be trusted. So, I would NOT recommend going that route at all. Your about to get married here, if you disregard her feelings on this, it can mess things up for both of you. Trust me, while it's no big deal to you, it could be a big deal to her & your relationship. If your fiance says she doesn't feel comfortable with you going to a strip club, then don't go. The other guys can go, but you will need to stay away from the strip club. She's probably paranoid & thinks you might get into another woman. It's a jealousy & trust issue. You should talk to her & reassure her that it's all in just having fun & that she can trust you not to mess around behind her back. See what she says & if she still doesn't like it, then you have no choice but to comply, that is....if you still want her to marry you. Don't give her any reason not trust you. It's only a strip club & it's not worth messing up what you got.
2007-06-27 16:05:57 · answer #5 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance and I have had the same discussion. He's not really interested in it anyway though. He is actually thinking they'll do an outing rather than a bachelor party like golfing or hiking.
The bachelor party is for you though so if you say that you do not want to go to a strip club than that should be cool with the guys that are there supporting you and your future marriage.
I don't dislike strip clubs but I don't think it's respectful that when someone is going to walk down the aisle soon that they have to go see strippers.
I don't think she is crazy and neither are you, but no need in starting a fight over something that isn't a necessity to you right?
2007-06-27 15:06:32 · answer #6 · answered by Amber P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isnt it a rather traditional thing for a guy to have his bachelor party, probably WITH strippers or whatever. This is BEFORE the wedding, isn't it?
I am a woman, but don't see what the problem is, here. Why does the fiancee feel that you shouldn't do this? This isn't about her. This is about a party that will be attended by a bunch of guys.
I wonder why she feels she should say no, and expect 20 or so guys to not do the stripper thing?
Who's being crazy? Maybe no one. But, maybe she is being a little bit controlling.
2007-06-27 16:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in a relationship means knowing when to say no to something that you know will hurt the other person. Who do you care more about? Your beautiful fiancee or the 20 other guys who dont have to watch tears stream down her face, or see the look of dissapointment in her eyes when she finds out. Does their haveing a good time and 'going with the flow' mean more to you than how she feels?
Would you have a nice night thinking about a male stripper jiggling his junk in your fiance's face?
She trusts you and you trust her....you both know in your hearts that nothing is going to happen...shes not going to run off with the stripper and you arent either....but what it comes down to is that she isnt comfortable with it. Since you love and respect her, you should let your bestman know that you would like it if there were no strippers and strip clubs.
My husband and I made this same agreement and we had amazing parties. There are a million fun things that you can do at a bachelor or bachelorette party that doesnt include jigggling boobs or junk!
PS a close friends had strippers at their parties...and they both still fight about it...six years later.
2007-06-27 15:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by Breava 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No, don't just tell her what she wants to hear -- that's a very bad precedent to set for marriage!
Your fiancee' is being a bit silly. The strip clubs are pretty tame -- what is she afraid of? It's not as though you're on a first name basis with the bouncer, for heaven's sake! I can understand no private strippers -- there's a lot of stories about private strip parties that turn into all-night baccanalias, with the wedding party various shades of green the next day from spectacular hangovers. (Went to one wedding where one of the ushers actually passed out!) But going to a strip club to oogle girls? Nah -- not a big deal.
But in your post, it sounds like you sorta want to go, but don't want to make your fiancee mad. Tell her either she trusts you or she doesn't. If she doesn't trust you, or thinks you are so lacking in self-control that you won't be able to resist leaping on stage, grabbing a girl by the hair and throwing her to the floor to screw her brains out in front of 300 men, then why on earth is she marrying you?
2007-06-27 16:29:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you have no desire to go to a strip club. Your fiancee doesn't want you to go to a strip club. What is the deal???
Stand up to your buddies and tell them it's not an option for the evening. Period. Soon-To-Be (who posted above) got it exactly right: tell them it's YOUR decision, and stick by that. That's all she needs is a reputation among your buddies as a wet blanket - party pooper - ball and chain because YOU led them to believe it. If you're old enough and mature enough to be married, then you're certainly old enough and mature enough not to bend to peer pressure on a night where you're the guest of honor.
Seriously - be honest. Do you secretly want to have a stripper-fest, but rather than openly go against your fiancee's wishes, you'll do it, pretend it was because you were drunk, and the guys "made you do it"? C'mon. It's time to start practicing being a husband. You're better than that, and she deserves the best guy you can be.
2007-06-27 15:40:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋