OK, so my mother in law hates me. I took her baby boy and we got pregnant. Then we got married and had another. This women will not stop. I feel so uncomfortable around them it makes me sick to my stomach. When we were dating they both told me to my face that they would never except me into there life, but then I got pregnant and they are acting nice. I don't get it. My hubby and I have tried talking to them but they think I seduced there son and made him get with me, Any advice?
2007-06-27 14:22:41 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I had the same prob w my MIL. She never said a nice word to me in 30 yrs. Big relief when she passed on. Our tactic was to live in the same town (Chicago) but not close enough for her to drop over. Then, when we were out running errands we would stop by for a cup of coffee and say "hello." That way, or time with her was limited. When she had us over for dinner, we would leave just as soon as she started her tirade. Sometimes we didn't even get to the soup (and she made GREAT soup). I just knew she was like that and let it slide off me. It really got her goat more because she couldn't rile me up. When we had her over for dinner, our family (2 adults and 2 kids) would place bets on what she would complain about first. Our daughter would come out and say, "Hi Grandma." She would answer, "Why don't you ever wear a dress?" To our son, she would say, "Why don't you cut your hair?" She was just plain evil, wicked, mean, bad, and nasty. Our best friends moved to New York to get away from her mother. But then she would come to visit for 2 or 3 weeks. I would be in jail for murder if I had to put up with my MIL for even 1 week. The only time I ever got her really good was she lit into me for something, and I said, "Well, maybe so, but I'm still f****ing your daughter." My wife & I still laugh about that. Good luck
2007-06-27 14:48:06 · answer #1 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So are they still nice to you after the baby's birth or back to their old behavior? I think your hubby needs to speak up and let them know it's not acceptable to talk to/about you like that. Especially since there are now children involved. B/c you are his wife he has the right to tell them that you and his children come FIRST...and if they choose to keep being negative you will not associate with them on a regular basis b/c it is not healthy for you or your fam. I know his mother may be dealing with the fact that she has to share her sons love with you...but she also needs to know that the love between a husband and a wife is far different from that of a mother and son. She has to loosen her grip on him and let him live his new life with his family. I hope your husband can step up and express all these concerns to them firmly. I believe it's important for you to feel valued and not like the family outcast. Let us know how everything turns out.
2007-06-27 21:38:43 · answer #2 · answered by Taracita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, just wait until she starts rubbing all of his ex's in your face.
Everytime I walk into my mil's house she has pics displayed all over the place, and they are still friends so I have to hear all of her new successes, trips abroad, wedding, blah nlah blah.
She has always made it a point to make me uncomfortable, but I just smiled through it all.
I gave her 3 strikes, and now I dont have to tolerate her nastiness anymore.
I always put out the olive branch first, but she always managed to snap it in half.
Discuss this w/ your husband, and make it clear that you are uncomfortable around her, but you will NOT try to come between them.
Make yourself look good, and maybe he will see how she really is.
2007-06-27 22:56:42 · answer #3 · answered by charlie B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you have to do your best to keep things civil as you probably see a lot of each other at family functions, ect. i would try not to let the past bother you...if she is being nice now then maybe she is trying in her own way to mend your relationship. for now i would take it day by day...but, if theres another instance of rude behavior on her part, i would tell your husband to confront her. it cant come from you, because if she does it again then shes not going to listen to you. she does love and respect your son though, and he needs to let his mother know that you are his wife and she cannot treat you like that. otherwise he will have to tell her that her behavior is making you feel like your not welcome around family, and that he is not going to associate with them without his wife and child. that will get through to her
2007-06-27 21:42:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally it sounds like that they cant get over the fact that their baby son did not marry their considered "perfect woman" but you and your husband know that he did. sounds like they have some insecurities that they need to work on so if i was you dont try and fret about it too much all you really need to focus on is your kids. Also try and sitting down with them with your husband and get your husband to tell them to their face that your the love of his life and if they dont like it thats their problem. But overall dont stress yourself out too much move just focus on your family they are the ones who need all your attention.
hope i helped
xoxoxMoeisha
2007-06-27 21:39:13 · answer #5 · answered by Moeisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd probably avoid her, which is a shame. You might try talking to her and letting her know that you both love the same person (her son) and that fighting only hurts him. You might also let her know that if she can't be nicer, she'll miss out on watching her grandchildren grow up.
2007-06-27 21:34:34 · answer #6 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. It is up to your husband to talk to his mother and set the record straight. Stay away from them, Continue to be a good mother and wife and hopefully, they will back off but mothers and their sons, whew!! Been there, done that!!
2007-06-27 21:38:53 · answer #7 · answered by lady_just_chilling 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
9 times out of 10 mother in laws and wife's dont get along so i say stop worrying about what she thinks i know you want to get along with his family but at this point it dosent matter if she accepts you into her family or not you guys have your own family now so concentrate on that then maybe one day she will come around on her own i wouldn't stress on her.
2007-06-27 21:37:44 · answer #8 · answered by im whats up! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stay away from her. Let your husband do the talking.
2007-06-27 21:28:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell inlaws to back off or you will not allow them to see their grand babies again. this is a major stab in the heart for any grandparent.
good luck
2007-06-27 21:35:16 · answer #10 · answered by Forever Looking 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋