What do siblings argue about the most?

Question

We're heading into summer -- which tends to be sibling bickering season! -- so I'd like to get a handle on what you guys think are the most common sources of sibling arguments. Let's talk about three age groups here: very young kids (preschoolers); school-aged (5-12); and then teens. I'm planning to blog about this @ Yahoo! Parenting (Canadian site) at some point, but I haven't formulated my thoughts at all, so I thought I'd go to the source first -- parents with kids or anyone who remembers bickering with their sister/brother.

Answer 1

I could go on and on about sibling bikering. Being the 3rd of 11 Children, we could bicker about anything and everything. Who did mom and dad like best at a particular time, who got more than another, why did one get a piano for his birthday and you got a pair of jean that didn't fit... Why did I have to sit on the floor to watch TV and my sister got to sit on the couch. Whose turn was it to take out the trash, walk the dog, wash the car.....

Answer 2

Kids usually fight over resources, such as the video game controller, the best spot on the couch, the phone, or the last piece of cake. Resources around the house are scarce, and the privilege of using these resources is governed by a few universal rules:
- Whoever was using it first gets to use it.
- If you were using it before and were just coming back to use it again, you're supposed to get it back, but it doesn't always work that way.
- If there's only one of something left, the person who gets it is the one who had the least amount of it already. If that person doesn't want it, then it's up for grabs.
- You can use or have anything you want if nobody else notices you took it.
- When "negotiating" for the use of a resource, try to keep negotiating at a calm level, otherwise said resource may be confiscated by Mom.

Answer 3

Hey!
Well lets see...I am 14 and have 5 sisters ages 15 ,11 ,8, 6, and 3, and one brother age 5 and another brother on the way. I totally know what you mean about summer bickering season. It is kind of hard to target a specific category that ages 5-12 argue about. It is easier to target a mood that they are in when the arguing starts. They usually argue when they are bored or tired and a few common things to argue about is whos turn it is , who's incharge, whos toy it is, what is fair exc. Most of the time kids that age want to feel like they are in controll of situations.


As for teens....I would have to say that my sister and I usually argue about stupid things that we feel like we have a right to be mad about.

Example: My sister borrows a shirt of mine without asking....not nesessarely being sneeky about it. I don't really like that shirt anyways so I am fine with it. So the next day I can't find a shirt to wear, I see a shirt of my sisters that I like. I feel like I have a right to take her shirt without asking because she took mine. She gets mad and wala you have a huge arguement. Both sides feel like they have something to be mad about. After all She took my shirt without asking, why should I have to ask? On the other side of the arguement I could have told her to take my shirt off.

There really is no magic way of stopping arguing, but understanding what causes arguements to start definetly can give you a upperhand in keeping them under controll. Good luck!

Answer 4

I do remember some bickering and cant recall what it was about as much as why... often bickering was REALLY because we were jealous of each other - often feeling the other kid was moms or dads favorite and perhaps were trying to get attention, any attention we could get - I was the oldest of 4 and hated mom for having so many kids, I felt she didnt love me, because if she did she would not have had 3 more kids.
We were always fighting for her attention...

Answer 5

hey...im a 17 1/2 year old female with a 19 year old brother. we used to fight alot when we were little, not about anything in particular, he just had/has a bad temper and liked to see me get mad at him. now i am not living with him but the sources of arguments are usually jealousy. im jealous that he got a car when he was 16(i still dont have one) and got/gets money whenever he wants. AND i have 4.0 GPA and arent trouble, whereas he is the opposite. my dad says its because "its a different situation". anyways....hope this is good.......

Answer 6

Hmmm.

I am trying to think of what my kids argue about but it really isn't too much. I guess when someone is playing a game and it is one of those that you both have to be on the same screen to advance to the next area they argue about hurrying up, or finding all the stuff there.

And my 2 yr old does not like to share anything Dora, but if you remind her that she is sharing, not giving she will give it up easy enough...

They don't argue about things that I normally hear about like "clothing, bedroom area, mine vs yours, bathroom time"

Perhaps we are not there yet???

Answer 7

mine are 8 and at the moment the most common fight is weirdly enough when they write on each others white board! They have a white board on their door which I leave messages on (such as Love you, good morning etc. Sometimes it can be "put your clothes away", no excuse then of I didn't hear you lol) for them and vise versa and they don't like the other one touching it.

Answer 8

Most arguments for all age groups are about possessions, with older kids adding privacy. If they share a room, then mess or neatness is prime reason.

Answer 9

Possessions

Answer 10

The funny thing is we dont seem to grow out of it I still argue with my brother over things mainly him using drugs. Im 28 and he is 27.