I need some serious advice please. I started dating my co-worker 2 months ago. He is super sweet, caring, smart...everything I have ever wanted in someone. Well 2 weeks after we started dating, my best friend and I planned a trip to Miami. At that time he was ultra supportive of the trip. Now, he tells me last night that he doesn't want to see me anymore if I go to Miami. He thinks it's a party place and that my best friend & I are going to be wild and out of control.
Mind you, I am 28 and he is 35. So, after about an hour or more, of trying to convince him that I had no intention of being wild..I told him I don't need this s$%t....and walked away.
So, today I am torn....do I call him and put and end to this..or think that he is being completely unreasonable and say F this. He is not at work today, he has the day off..
So someone that knows relationships...please help. Cause I really do like him.
2007-06-27 12:40:21 · 9 answers · asked by Sundance1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Think about it. Is this trip more an important than your relationship with him?? If yes, than breakup. If no, don't go. If he won't let you go and you really want to go explain to him how you are not controlled by him and you are breaking up with him to think about this. Good Luck.
2007-06-27 12:44:53 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm about your age and female. It sounds like he's being unreasonable especially since you have only been together for two months. Also there are some trust issues coming into play. It seems like he doesn't really trust you (not sure why, is there some information that you didn't mention?). If he can't trust you then you shouldn't be together. I'd give it a day or so then call and ask how he feels, tell him that you're still going on the trip, that he should trust you, and then talk about the relationship (whether you should end it or not). Be honest about how you feel but be calm and rational and understanding. If it ends, then it ends. Sounds like he's not that good for you anyway.
2007-06-27 12:52:34 · answer #2 · answered by brit20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is hard because that age gap between you guys. It could be possible that he looks down on you because he thinks of a trip like that as immature and a waste of good time. You have to ask yourself if "35 year old you" would think it's a good idea to let your boyfriend go on a trip in Miami with his friends. The answer might be no.
However, if he doesn't have an alternative activity for you guys to do together it's just kind of annoying and controlling.
I'd have to make an ultimatum. I'd tell him either you're going on the trip and he's going to let you, OR you're not going on the trip but instead you two will get together and do something special.
2007-06-27 12:48:47 · answer #3 · answered by Jeanelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After only two months of dating, I feel it's too early to become controlling and dictatorial. You guys are just beginning to build a relationship; so I'm sorry, I just don't see the "super sweet, caring, smart " guy you describe. Though he is 35, he is acting like a "hormone- driven" teenager.However, if you still like him ,call, tell him you need to talk, and then tell him you have no intention of being wild in Miami.He either has to trust you or not. If his position has not changed ,then I suggest you kiss him goodbye and consider yourself a very lucky woman. If he is acting this way after only two months, how will he act after 1 year;2 years;10 years.....you get the idea.Good luck.
2007-06-27 12:58:35 · answer #4 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need to call and put an end to it. I'd leave it up to him. Call his bluff -- if he really wants to dump you for taking a vacation without him, then he'll do the ending for you.
Alternatively if you don't want to risk damaging his fragile self-esteem, you could spend your vacation in front of a webcam proving that you only have thoughts of him and doing things only with him. Or just cancel your vacation.
But seriously -- yes, he is being unreasonable... you just have to ask yourself -- do you like him enough to make it your mission to coddle him?
2007-06-27 12:52:25 · answer #5 · answered by CrazyCarl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he likes you enough he should trust you. I have a yearly girls trip to Mexico and I had been in a long term relationship and one of the girls was married. Trust is a big part of a relationship and that's a lame thing to break up over. Girls need girl time.
2007-06-27 12:46:23 · answer #6 · answered by salmalucy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on the trip and have fun. And when you come back, start dating someone else because it almost always doesn't work with office romance. If he doesn't trust you, then he ain't worth it. Have Fun!
2007-06-27 12:49:46 · answer #7 · answered by sugarfish808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like him than see if he wants to join you. maybe he feels like you're leaving him out and that you don't think your relationship is worth that. tell him that you're going on the trip wether he likes it or not and that you'd really love it if he came with you. if he says he can't go than tell him that you hope he'll be there when you get back. tell him that you hope he can find it in his heart to trust in you and to believe in you when you tell him that nothing is going to happen when you're out ther. there's really nothing more you can do. guys are stubborn in that sort of way.
2007-06-27 12:48:45 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, he's thinking that you & your best friend are going to have wild clubing & that you might cheat on him there, like having sex with another guy during your vacation to Miami.
2007-06-27 12:56:55 · answer #9 · answered by Kimi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋