My shyness is ruining my life!?

Question

Ok heres the deal. I am a 20 year old female. People tell me all the time I am beautiful and I should be a model, which I find very sweet and it makes me soo happy! But I have a hard time meeting/talking to men. I am extremely shy around everyone. Some people think I am stuck up, but thats not the case at all! I am just really shy. I believe being shy has ruined my life, I havent had many boyfriends because I dont have enough guts to talk! What do I do!? How do I overcome this shyness..WHAT THE HECK IS MY PROBLEM!

Answer 1

Comming from a person who is very shy himself you just need to take risks and put yourself out there. Rejection comes and sometimes it doesn't but you will never get anywhere worrying about taking chances. Just gotta thicken up that skin a little bit.

Answer 2

Ok... calm down and take a breather alright? Being shy can be cute to some guys but if you really don't say anything at all but a " Hi" then everyone will tend to think you're stuck up if your the model type body figure (yes stereotypes suck for body figures)...It's a curse sometimes and it's caused by the media.... To over your come your coy attitude is the the old fashion talk to yourself in the mirror routine which works effectively. Here is why it's effective.

1. You see how your facial expression works and you can get an idea what they see.

2. If you work at it you can gain your confidence.

3. Once you feel the confidence gain you tend to be more comfortable in your skin and tend to talk to more people at a party when the time comes.

Actors do it all the time.That way they can get an idea what the camerea see or the audience.I know it's awkward and it feels really weird when you do that but you get better at it. I still do the mirror routine when I'm preparing for an interview and I over come my shyness by being in the drama club in high school and I'm more outgoing than before (but since you're 20 and still terribly shy I got more help for you.... continue reading please.... :)...) If the mirror routine didn't work then you can actually work on it with a guy friend or one of your girl friends. It can be fun as well and you feel more comfortable. Coyness range differently so since you're more shy than Bashful from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs then this is the excersise for you.

The most important thing to do to get over your shyness is to find your favortie features. Such as your smile and practice doing a nice smile it helps build confidence as well. Guys love a girl who siles brightly it shows how confident she feels. If you're still having a hard time ask a friend to help you to help break the ice and find common grounds. Finding common grounds makes things easier. Also relax you're young and you should be vibrant dong cool and crazy things. If you know how to dance then go out and dance. You know how to hold a good conversation? Then hook a guy with your wits and talk to him casually. I know I made it sound easy but it can be if you practice. Just go out and have fun. Remember you're only young once and life is too short!

Answer 3

Trust me, shyness is one of the hardest things to overcome. I used to be extremely shy too until I got a group of friends who brought out the best in me lol..

anyways, what you should do is grab a couple of your non-shy female friends and spend a night out on the town. If a guy approaches you, start out by answering his questions without useing one-worded grunts. You don't have to go all-out this first time.

Next, just try to go out with those same friends that make you feel comfortable at least once a week. Each time a guy comes to you, make a little extra effort to have a conversation. Just don't give out your number to every guy you meet, just the ones you know are truely interested in you. Soon you'll start to break out of your shell and start having fun! Just don't get too loose!

Answer 4

Getting a job in public might help you to break your shyness.

I used to be fairly shy, but then I got a job working for a store, and I had to talk to just whoever came into the store. This helped me to get over my shyness somewhat. Now, I'm not shy at all in my public life, though I can still be a little shy in my personal life, it's not near as bad as it used to be.

Answer 5

Well besides the obvious suggestion of just pushing yourself to talk to people - I would suggest going to therapy to figure out why you are so shy and how best to work on that so that you can meet people because it seems like you can't control it and that isn't good - another suggestion, one that people may frown upon would be to have a few drinks (alchol) when trying to mingle because it will loosen you up and help you to chat - but you don't want to always have to depend on this kind of thing.

Answer 6

okay im a guy and i had the same problem so i hope this helps.. in 2006 i was so shyy that i would never say a word to anyone even they would hit on me...my shyness led me to stress on why i cant open up ... so in 2007 i made a step plan on opening up to females and males ( just talking to them) at first believe me it was hard ....but i took one at a time ...first i start with eye contact...I always looked away but now i hold it NO MATTER WHAT..( i did that until i got use to it) ..i always thought it was rude but not at all ...it shows respect .. then i took a magazine to my art class which was filled with females and reading articles and laughing even if it wasnt funny i still did because that is how attraction starts(curosity dummy lol )...this started conversation ..which led to names and numbers and which led to well need i go one.....

the funny thing was that one girl actually told me that she thought i was stuck up...which im not ..far from it FOR REAL

hope this helps

Answer 7

At least you can recognize the problem. Now you have to work to fix it. You should put yourself in more situations where you have to talk and your shyness will start to go away. Make it a goal.

Answer 8

I am very shy myself. I am 34. I have never had a girlfriend. It's because I feel like I am ugly. But I hate being shy. I try to tell myself to just be friendly to people. Don't be afraid. Have a positive attitude and people will see that more than anything and will like you and be your friend. Good luck.

Answer 9

I was just like you!! i had the shyness , not being able to talk to ppl. It is called social anxiety disorder. There is help talk to your Dr. I have been on Zoloft for 2 yrs now. Love it, no more shyness , or not being able to talk to ppl.

Answer 10

hey I posted a similar question too!! im 21 yrs old though and a male. im not sure Im the model type but I have the same problem. honestly nothing has helped me overcome the shyness. Its just something we have to learn to deal with i guess. ive taken every advise Ive gotten and well when it comes down to it I freeze. check out my question and the answers i got. maybe they will help you more than they helped me.