This story is about a girl that have 20 years old and her boyfriend got trouble with 5 guys in the mafia bussines
One day her boyfriend dessapear and she don't know were he is and she go to look for him.
When she found him he was with two shot in the back of his head.
The big mistake you do to mafia is see their faces and run away to a police station.
That people kidnape her ,but one of them is falling in love with her and want to help her.
tell me how many mistake i have when i write this
2007-06-27 12:10:15 · 8 answers · asked by andthisislove? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Languages
TELL ME WERE ARE THE MISTAKE
2007-06-27 12:20:13 · update #1
BOTH OF THEM HAVE 20 YEARS OLD
2007-06-27 12:21:13 · update #2
It doesn't matter what tense you use, past tense or present tense, either one is ok. But you have to keep their consistence.
I use capital letters to show my corrections (only for your grammar). I can understand what you mean, but, why you switch the third person to second person back and forth ( "her" to "you")???
This story is about a girl WHO IS 20 years old. Her boyfriend GETS INTO trouble with 5 guys in A mafia bussinesS
One day her boyfriend DISAPPEARS and she DOESN't know wHERE he is SO she goES OUT to look for him.
She fINDS him with two shotS in the back of his head.
The big mistake SHE MAKES is seeING their faces and runNING away to a police station.
ThE people kidnape her ,but one of them fallS in love with her and wantS to help her.
For your last sentence: tell me how many mistakeS I MADE when I WROTE this.
2007-06-27 12:34:30 · answer #1 · answered by howeruth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is how I would write it:
This story is about a girl that is twenty years old. Her boyfriend got into trouble with five guys in the Mafia business.
One day her boyfriend disappeared. She didn't know where he was, so she went to look for him.
When she found him, he had two bullet holes in the back of his head. The biggest mistake you can make, is looking the Mafia in the face and going to the police station.
The Mafia kidnapped her. One of the men started to fall in love with her and wanted to help her.
Good Luck =)
2007-06-27 12:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by °¤teehee¤° 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll have to compare...
This story is about a 20 year old woman and her boyfriend that got in trouble with 5 guys in the mafia business.
One day her boyfriend disappeared and she doesn't know were he is and she goes to look for him.
When she found him he had two shots in the back of his head.
The biggest mistake you can make with the mafia is to see their faces and run to a police station.
The people kidnapped her, but one of them is falling in love with her and wants to help her.
2007-06-27 12:21:11 · answer #3 · answered by Indigo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i count 15. i will rewrite it with the errors corrected.
How many mistakes have i made here...........please help!!!!!!?
This story is about a girl and her boyfriend, who are both 20 years old, who got into trouble with the Mafia.
One day her boyfriend disappears and she doesn't know where he is and she goes to look for him.
When she finds him he has been shot twice in the back of his head.
The worst mistake you can make with the Mafia is to see their faces and run away to the police station.
Those people kidnap her, but one of them is falling in love with her and wants to help her.
Tell me how many mistakes I have made when I write this
It's still quite easy to understand, but your tenses seem a bit mixed up. keep trying!
2007-06-27 12:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Including the question, about 20 errors.
2007-06-27 12:16:46 · answer #5 · answered by tentofield 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, i have to know if the girl is 20 yrs. old or if her boyfriend is 20 yrs. old. sorry i just can't seem to make that out.....
2007-06-27 12:20:02 · answer #6 · answered by thatgirl. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont know i dont have english as first language :/
2007-06-27 12:13:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
more than enough.
2007-06-27 12:18:42 · answer #8 · answered by Peter I 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋