What if your in-laws want to be in the delivery room?

Question

My in-laws hinted yesterday that they have not seen one of their grandchildren being born, due to the other kids living far away.
I am 26 weeks along and am due in Oct.
I have a old fashion sense and do NOT wish for anyone to be in the delivery room but my hubby who helped to create this little baby.
They however want to come in and take pictures or record it, I am opposed to my in-laws being in there because it is quite truthfully DISGUSTING AND REPULSIVE!
I do not want them looking at my nether regions, that is private, between man and wife! I am appauled that they would even suggest that both of them be in the room looking at my >ss! Also, they have never taken an interest in our older child! When we left him in their care as a small child they never once changed his diapers (We were gone 12 hours!) and when he was 5 and diagnosed with asthma....they NEVER gave him his medicine!
What do you think and what would you tell them

Needless to say, I no longer let them have our older child. I can not trust them to be reponsible for his well being.

In the old days, no one was allowed in the D. room unless they were a DR or a nurse!
Maybe I am old fashioned, but the thought of the in-laws taking pics and then showing them to the rest of the family makes me sick!
That is down right perverted if you ask me!

Answer 1

Tell them NO! Let them know that it is something you want to share with just there son.

Answer 2

Now I've heard on entire families being in the birthing room these days... in fact it's becoming quite common, if you watch discovery health channel. So is filming the process (they rarely show the nether regions, it's mostly facial shots of the woman pushing, the baby appearing over the blanket they've appropriately placed, etc). So is taking pictues. So many kids these days want to know everything about when they were born! (at the appropriate age, of course)

But the fact is, these people do not seem to respect you, nor have the ever cared for your previous child. This alone gives you every right to never even let them see the child to begin with.

If you aren't comfortable with them being there, that is YOUR business! Not your husbands, their's, or anyone else's. YOU are having that child, and that is your's (and the child's!), special day.

Congrats, and good luck!

Answer 3

You are not at all old fashioned. You are so so right in this. Firstly, I feel sad that your in laws could even be a topic of your conversation after the way they have acted. But you simply need to get with your husband and make it clear to him what is going to happen. which is that the TWO of you will tell them, No thank you they are not invited. OR just nevermind and dont say anything and do not call them when you are due. Tell them you are going to a different hospital so they wont be able tofind you. Do anything and it might take some scheming. Then be sure that your husband understands they are not invited soon after the birth either. He can say that you need time alone as a new family of 4 and will contact them later ( not) To me it is all about you and your husband being united in this.

Answer 4

I would straight out tell them no. When it is time to go into labor that only your husband is allowed in the room w/ you. You can make sure to let the nurses know this too. They will remove anyone you do not want in the room. You dont even have to explain to them why, either. Or if you must tell them, say you do not feel comfortable w/ the birth being filmed or have pictures taken. You dont feel comfortable w/ anyone other than your husband seeing your most intimate areas. You do not have to worry about offending anyone or hurting anyone's feelings. If they really care then they will respect your decision.

Answer 5

There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with you wanting the birth of your child to be a private moment between you and your spouse. I think that my mother-in-law, although she never had the guts to ask, would have liked to get in on one of my deliveries. You not only don't have to feel compelled to give in, but in my opinion you really don't even owe them an explanation. Just tell them that you prefer to have only your husband there and that should be the end of conversation! Good luck to you!

Answer 6

Ultimately the choice is all yours. However I agree with you totally. Taking films and / or pictures of the birth is abnormal and should be curbed to say the least. If you ask me, I think that somebody has a screw loose! Tell your mother in law to surf the web as sooner or later she will find pictures for her viewing pleasure of this sort of thing. How does your husband feel about this? Personally, I feel that the only one that has to be there is you and that the only one that needs to be there is the hubby simply for you. Just my opinion.

Answer 7

I agree totally, 100%. Just say no, no, no! I believe this very special occasion should be shared between the mother and father. I never had anyone in the delivery room with me except my husband. I did not want anyone there because we were the ones who created this special being and I only wanted us to be there for the birth. Nothing against our families, I just think it is personal.

Just remind them that back when they had children, the dad wasn't even in the delivery room!!

Answer 8

Ummmm.....HELL NO!! Of course that might make people angry. However, you are THE ONLY one to determine who is in that room. You can also tell the hospital/nurses/doctor to not allow anyone but your husband in the room. Let the doctors/nurses/etc. know that it will really stress you out and that is usually sufficient enough information that will cause them to refuse to allow them in. It doesn't matter what the in-laws want!! Besides, most hospitals will only allow the husband or "coach" or significant other in the room......Usually there is not enough room and for safety reasons. You may want to specifically state this to your husband so that he knows YOUR WISHES!!

Answer 9

If you feel uncomfortable and they are still hinting around come delivery day, all you have to do is tell the nurses and they will get rid of anyone in the room you don't want. That's what I had to do. Good Luck!!

Answer 10

OOHHH my LORD! You are in the same boat that I was once at! I totally understand your feelings and anger. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and we have 3 children, my mother in law was the same way. I must say though, I was thankful to have my 3 c-sections because she tried to pull the same thing with me..( and of course in the "OR" room only the husband is allowed) First you have to talk to your husband and tell him that he must talk to his mother and explain to her that it really is totally inappropiate, and if she still insists, than you must be foward with her and tell her that you and your husband created this baby without their help and you and him will bring this baby into the world without there help....(of course maybe in a nicer way, lol) also you can always say that they are welcomed to wait in the waiting room and when the baby is born they are of course welcomed than to come in and share the happy wonderful moment. LOTS AND LOTS OF LUCK TO YOU!

Answer 11

Well I would try explaining it how you just did. No matter how natural and normal this process is it's your vagina!! I wouldn't want them in their either and I can't beleive they would suggest that! I would maybe sit them down and tell them your very touched that they want to share this with you and that you love them but really wanted that moment to be between you and hubby only. If they can't understand that it's kind of their problem. I would make sure your hubby is in with you to. Try to make sure they understand it's not just them it's anyone! and that this is a really preciouse moment for you and ur hubby. Good luck girl!