I coach a 4th grade football team and team pictures were set to be taken at 2pm. Church was out and the entire team was there except for this one young man. The Mother told me that he will not participate in his team picture or trophy presentation because this was Gods day. I almost fell out of the chair! Please leave your thoughts for this idiotic response. I'm sorry, but this young man was in tears and I knew at that point I could not hold back. I asked her if he was going to burn in hell for attending this function on Sunday. And she snapped. It was funny to listen to her rambling scripture and I finally laughed so hard my side was hurting. Look, it's everyones right to believe. Someone speak up and tell me, was I wrong for laughing while she ranted off this stupid jargon?
2007-06-27 11:01:57 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Unfortunately our instinct is to separate this woman from the rest of agnostic society, but you were wrong for laughing at someone beliefs. Its not your right to assume how to raise their child, neither is it her right to tell you how to raise yours.
To use the words..idiotic, rant, stupid and jargon, you are taking away from people beliefs, people's thoughts about religion and the world, and telling us 'your theory.' In fact it almost seems you use these words to accuratly explain how this made you feel. Since these are all negative connotations she some how made you feel negative, which I'm sure wasn't the objective. But you're a teacher, you get smart asses all the time, and you were a smart ***. I bet you coach the children better than you coach the parents and thats why you felt like defending the boy. Props!
Just because someone believes something doesn't make them any less or more than you. Personally I want to agree with you when people quote scripture to me I get frustrated, but do I want to fill my heart with HATE because they believe what they believe? NO. I want to love them for their faith, and our diversity as creators on earth. Peace and Love!!
2007-06-27 11:17:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Mikey, more than worrying about the mother's reaction, I would be worried about the impact on the boy. Will she pull him off of the team now because of what you did? And how does he feel about the interaction?
It is obvious that the mother went overboard with her beliefs. Unfortunately, that is the way this boy was raised, and he will have had the same beliefs instilled in him. We can hope he is a bright enough boy to reason out that the argument and all responses with it were between you and the mother, and had nothing to do with him and the way he believes.
Is there a way you can get a photographer at the next game for an impromptu team photo? That is, if he is still on the team.
I'm not saying you were wrong, were I in the same situation, I would have been tempted to do the same. Were it just the 2 of you present, I would have cheered you on. However, with a team of impressionable boys around, discretion would be the order of the day.
2007-06-28 01:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Odds are, the reason she believes this have to do with the Judaic laws against performing any type of work on the Sabbath day. There are examples where someone was killed for gathering wood on the sabbath. There is also the passage that says to "remember the Sabbath, and keep it holy". If she is a strict fundamentalist, she may believe this is a violation of that holiness, since it is something you would do any time the rest of the week.
I am not here to say that she was right or wrong, but your reaction to her beliefs probably spurned on a much stronger reaction from her than she may have given otherwise. She may have felt like you were not respecting her, as a person, as well as her belief system, either of which could be construed as offensive.
She does have a right to her opinion, as well as have the right to allow, or NOT allow her child to do any extra-curricular activities she chooses. That is the right of any parent.
Do I necessarily agree with her viewpoint? NO. I am a christian, and I am also intelligent and aware enough of what is truly happening within religious faiths to know that these statements are the stronghold of a pastor in her life. She has blindly accepted that her pastors interpretations and statements are correct, without ever studying herself to know for sure.
Were you wrong for laughing at her? Probably, or at least it was something not done in good taste. It definitely exacerbated the situation. You will be very fortunate if she does not try to bring you up before the school board on charges of inappropriate conduct. It happens. You may think about doing the trophy presentation during the time you would normally set aside for a single after-school practice, or even one night (Wednesday probably would not be a good night, try another) during the week to do an awards banquet. That is what the schools do here (usually on a Thursday night) and have a school-wide recognition day the next day. All the athletic departments and extracurricular departments here try to arrange to do it the same week.
Hope this helps...
2007-06-27 11:49:32 · answer #3 · answered by Simple Man Of God 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it really sad when people misuse Bible scriptures to try to prove their point, although they believe it with all their heart, they have been misguided. We are not under the Mosaic Law. Must Christians keep the Sabbath? The Bible says that requirement "was to be done away with." (2 Corinthians 3:7-11) (Romans 10:4) "For Christ is the end of the Law, so that everyone exercising faith may have righteousness."
God used Christ to bring that Law to it's end. Our having a righteous standing with God depends on our faith in Christ, not on keeping a weekly sabbath.
I feel sad for this young man forced to do things without accurate knowledge. I'm sure he will never forget this experience and when he is older will most likely challenge the beliefs that he has been taught. As for your reaction, I'm afraid that the young man may have felt that you were laughing at him too. You may want to let him know that it was between his Mom and you, not him, and that you felt bad that he couldn't be apart of that days activities.
No matter what each of us believes, right or wrong, we need to have tolerance for each other and do our best to show respect.
Sorry I rambled! Hope you don't mind!
Take care sweetie. ; )
2007-06-27 17:06:09 · answer #4 · answered by Eternalsilence 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess if you don't mind someone laughing in your face when you are dead serious and feel very strongly about something, then that only makes you a strong person. But if it has ever bothered you when someone else did this to you, then it wouldn't be right of you to do it someone else.
Some people are afraid of offending God if they do certain things on Sunday. As a christian myself, I know she was only trying to do what she believed was best for her son, however, sometimes things come up on Sunday that need to be done or that cannot be done any other day. And excluding him from taking a class photo just because it was asked of her on Sunday,was not the answer. All that served was embarassing him in front of his classmates. I admire anyone who stands up for their belief in God, but not at another person's expense.
As a parent myself, I know that sometimes you gotta lay yourself aside to do what is best for your child, so that it benefit's and blesses them. As a christian I would allow my son to have class pictures on Sunday, if that were the only time they could be taken. I wouldn't like it, but for my son's sake I would keep it to myself and let him go.
Just a thought, maybe to prevent this from hurting any more kids because of their parents beliefs, maybe you could schedule it on Saturday's or another day of the week, just so no one else has to experience what this boy did.
As far as how you responded, laughing at his mother I'm sure didn't make this boy feel any better. I only hope he wasn't standing within hearing distance.(Even still, I'm sure he heard about it when he got home) He probably feels torn between pleasing his mother and pleasing his coach.
I always say, "if you don't want to hear what someone has to say, then don't ask".
I think you probably knew the kindof response you'd get when you asked her if her son was going to burn in hell for attending this function on Sunday. I wouldn't suggest saying anything along these lines to someone you know is a christian if you don't want to hear their "jargon", though.
Or maybe if this comes up again in the future and you can't do it any other day except for Sunday, maybe just explain this to the parent, that you respect their beliefs, maybe say what you said here, "Look, it's everyone's right to believe", and explain how this is the only time that you could do it or get everyone together on the same day. I would just make sure that everyone knew with plenty time in advance in a note to the parents.
Good luck with your team. Besides, if you bend just a little bit, you might just win your next game, you never know. (Hee Hee.....) :)
2007-06-27 12:10:50 · answer #5 · answered by cas1025 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so maybe she went a little overboard, but that doesn't make her wrong and you right.
It is all about beliefs. If someone doesn't respect your right to stick with your beliefs, what is the point of living in a country with freedom of religion, etc.?
I think you were wrong to laugh at her and make her feel like her view was not valid. It may have been wrong of her to keep her child out of the picture, too, but she is entitled to go with her beliefs.
Besides, in this day and age, what is so hard about getting another picture of him and photo-shopping it into the original? I have known of people who did this all the time when someone in the team couldn't be there, they just left a spot for them in the formation they were standing in and had the missing person pose for a picture later and placed them right in there like they were there all along.
Not a major problem.
Neither you nor her were right, but I do think you should take a chill pill when it comes to other people's beliefs whether you agree with them or not.
2007-06-27 11:15:55 · answer #6 · answered by animal lover 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
it wasn't polite, but I can see why you did. I don't get it either. Some people are just more conservative when it comes to that than others. I think it is a bit extreme myself, but it is not as extreme as Jewish or 7th Day Adventist (once we were driving home from church and a bunch of them were actually having a demonstration, picketing people for worshipping God on the wrong day of the week).
Have you seen Life of Brian? It's the whole follower of the shoe vs follower of the gourd thing. :)
2007-06-27 11:06:50 · answer #7 · answered by mountain_laurel1183 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
ok dude pretty simple. Although i dont worship on Sunday, i worship on Saturday, i still feel that u were extremely disrespectful in the most ignorant of ways. U displayed zero understanding and came across as immature and close minded. U say her answer is stupid. ok u dont have to like her answer and u dont even have to agree with it. But when u say her answer is stupid it only shows that U having alot of character improving to do and your little insult doesnt change the fact that her answer was NOT stupid. Again, i dont worship on Sunday, because I strongly believe the Lord's day is Saturday, but regardless i respect the Love that people have for God and by no means ever insult it. I would only being showing stupidity from my part. And that is exactly wat u displayed about urself to her and to those around u. U are displaying it now in the way u wrote ur question.Instead of asking for our opinion, u should be trying to get ur ignorant self into a library to do research on what "God's Day" is so next time u wont look so damn stupid. And maybe who knows, you'll be a better person?! i wont be surprised if she takes her kid out of ur team. straight up disrespectful!!
hope ur not settling for who u r and have the desire to grow mentally!!
2007-06-27 11:14:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like a reaction given the causes and conditions that lead you to believe as you do, however I'm sure she was really irritated by it. You can't control people so it's just best to do whatever you can to include the boy in the pic, if you can.
_()_
2007-06-27 11:05:50 · answer #9 · answered by vinslave 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you were wrong, rude, and insensitive. To her, that "stupid jargon" was real and believable. I'm sure that the young man was hurt by his coach laughing at his mom. Bad call, coach.
You should apologize for your rudeness and make accomodations for the young man to have his picture take at another time, or have the team's picture taken at another time.
Religious intolerance is right up there with racial intolerance. Get a clue, coach, intolerance is equal to bigotry.
2007-06-27 11:12:00 · answer #10 · answered by tsalagi_star 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋